He had troubleshooting
A rectangle
Now he is beaten at school and karate.
It seems he wasn't very poplar, and is now deciduously less alive. If he returns from the dead, he'll definitely be pining for revenge.
It was a brutal act of violins.
Yeah, he got muggled.
Then I fortunately woke up. But if i’m ever getting mugged and beaten in real life, I’m going to say, “oh my god! this is a dream come true!”
I told him "Man, this is like something out of the 1930's gangster era!"
He said "No no no, it's nothing like that. Back then, they used wooden baseball bats."
At least he has a sense of humour about it.
We were heading south along a freeway when my mom pointed out the passenger window saying "Look at that parasailer!"
Not even a second after the joke came to my mind, my dad looks over and says "I only see one!"
Great minds think alike.
He died last fry day. Thank God he wasn't beaten. Don't worry, he went over easy. He's now on the sunny side. He's definitely in a better plate.
It’s never been beaten.
...with a raw egg propped up on the other side.
She asks: "What are you doing?"
He responds: "Well this pancake recipe says I need one beaten egg..."
"So... you decided to play it in a chess game?"
"Well yeah, but the darn egg keeps winning!"
I was arrested for speaking out of line. I was protesting against the injustices facing our community, the harsh taxes and oppressions that have faced my community for years. The cruel and unusual punishments especially. Our town is small and insular, so outside influence is heavily resisted by our small town government, but despite that, my friends and I have pushed on, resisting our mistreatment and misery. But as you know, I was arrested. Surprisingly, I wasn't jailed or executed. I was beaten. They had us in a row, lines up facing our tormentors. The would-be executioners merely thrust their fists upon us. It was brutal. While there, I though to myself, "Huh, I guess this is the punchline."
At the end of it, the person that ran the course said, "Ok, buddy, so for the week you owe me...£380."
"I refuse to pay," I told him.
"You have to," he insisted.
"Well then, you'll have to fight me for it."
So we fought, and he absolutely battered me. Left me bloody, bruised and beaten.
He said, "£380. Cough it up."
"No," I told him, wiping my lip. "Because it was clearly a waste of money."
You've beaten your meat.
or are they pressed into it?
They don’t want to be beaten and dragged out of the plane.
Beaten up from their last encounter with Agent Smith and his agents, they take a seat at the bar.
Morpheus is nursing his right shoulder, Neo has a busted lip and Trinity has a large cut on her left hand.
Neo says, "Bartender give us your best bottle of whiskey. We're gonna need it."
The bartender grabs a bottle and three tumblers.
Neo cracks open the whiskey and takes a swig straight from the bottle before grabbing the tumblers.
Trinity, inspecting her hand, says "I'm a little worried that this is gonna get infected."
"Don't worry," Morpheus says as Neo grabs Trinity's hand, "Neo's pourin'."
but it's beaten me, I've hit a wall
Why do we always get hurt when we fall down and hit the ground?
It’s payback for all the times we’ve hit the road, beaten the trail, and pounded the pavement.
(I thinks is is pretty bad, but dad’s saying that I could never make a joke when I tell him. Please prove him wrong.)
Me: Dad I to buy some new boat shoes these ones look beaten up
Dad: Aboat time...Sound like they need to go to the doc
Me: Dad why do you this
Dad: What do you mean? I'm keeping it reel here. Facepalm + Groan Intensifies
For context we work in a restaurant.
He started to jokingly hit me with a bag of parsley Dad: I'm going to beat you to death with a bag of parsley Me: I'd only be parsley beaten to death
So I work in produce at whole foods. One of the guys I work with is an awesome older guy. Mid 40's. Anyway. Last night this happened. He comes up to me holding a beaten up looking pear and asks:
"If this pear was a bird what kind would it be"
"I don't know, what?"
"A pearot"
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/25/98/f9/2598f9702cdbe6a406589c37a3e60847.jpg
Came to make my own joke, but saw that I was beaten to the punch
So my brother is complaining about all the spoilers he is keeping from me since I haven't beaten a couple games yet. he says "I feel like my heads gonna explode!" To which dad responded "At least there won't be a huge mess to clean up..."
I love him and his shit eating grin.
(We are from Montana.)
Montana and North Dakota are in the middle of a war. The NDs have amassed a huge army and are about to march over a hill to invade MT. The commander of the ND army decides to send out a couple of scouts to see if the way is clear. Almost immediately after the two scouts disappear over the top of the hill, loud crashing and rumbling sounds come from the direction they went. After waiting until they are overdue for return, the commander decides to send a squad over to check out what happened. As they pass out of sight, a loud raucous was again heard from the other side of the hill. The commander becomes concerned and decides not to wait for them to return. He sends an entire platoon over the hill, telling them to take out any resistance they meet and return with any survivors. Once again, as the men disappear over the hill, the terrible sounds of war rush over the entire army and then slowly die down until nothing could be heard but the beating of the commanders heart. A proud man, never before defeated in battle, he decides to lead the entire army over the hill himself to destroy the opposition once and for all, but as they begin to march they see a single, mangled, ND soldier pulling himself up over the top of the hill by the only functioning limb of his body. Beaten, bloody and near death, he manages, with help, to make it to the commander and says; "Sir... (cough) Don't go... (spit, cough) It's a trap..."
And in the surprise induced silence he says;
"There's TWO of 'em."
