State puns
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︎ Oct 04 2020
Can anyone give me capitals and state puns?
For example I have:
What's the capital of Alaska?
I'm pretty sure Juneau (You know)
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︎ Jul 12 2016
Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know Iβm getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beerβ¦.
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! β€οΈ
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︎ Apr 09 2021
How much does the entire United States cost?
Nothing, because it's a free country
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︎ May 25 2021
What state in the US drinks the smallest cans of soda?
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︎ Apr 21 2021
53 states would make us indivisible
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︎ Apr 27 2021
A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...
Mo-roccan.
This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.
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︎ May 21 2021
Why did the Koala immigrate to the United States?
Because he wanted the right to bear arms.
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︎ May 22 2021
What can jump higher, the empire state building or a kangaroo
The kangaroo cause the empire state building can't jump
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︎ Apr 26 2021
What do you call a bee that is from the United States
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︎ Apr 26 2021
The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...
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︎ Feb 09 2021
Arkansas is the only state mentioned in the Bible.
βNoah walked out onto the ark and saw....β
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Was your waist the 16th president of the United States?
...cause those hips donβt lie
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︎ Apr 06 2021
Why does Missouri like being surrounded by other states?
Because Missouri loves company!
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︎ Apr 25 2021
Won an award for growing the biggest pickle in the state.
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Not to brag, but yesterday i beat the state chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
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︎ Apr 04 2021
United States of BEE
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︎ Mar 15 2021
What do you say to The President Of The United States when he leaves abruptly?
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︎ Mar 29 2021
We need to add PR, DC, and Guam, as states.
53 is a prime number. Then we can truly be one nation, indivisible.
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︎ Mar 03 2021
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
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︎ Mar 28 2021
What do cowboys use to move from state to state?
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︎ Feb 19 2021
The Texas state Aquarium taught a crow to play connect four, too bad they didn't teach it Clue...
I bet it would murder the game.
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Murphy's Law states anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you heard of Cole's Law?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
what kind of nap is illegal in 50 states and the district of columbia
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︎ Mar 02 2021
Now that Donald Trump is no longer President, the United States is experiencing post-nut clarity.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
So I was talking with a friend about states
me: do you know the abbreviations for ohio and oklahoma?
friend: no
me: oh ok
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︎ Dec 20 2020
BREAKING: North Korean Leader in vegetative state following surgery.
They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
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︎ Apr 26 2020
My buddy Ian is a strong proponent of state surveillance of citizens. I disagree and think it's a bad idea, so I said...
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Donald Trump is currently organizing pigeons against the united states government.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
What state in the US speaks Japanese?
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︎ Nov 22 2020
Q: Which US State loves company?
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Why couldn't Biden see his Secretary of State?
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Did you hear about the depressive state of US?
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︎ Jan 17 2021
The Secretary of State will be Biden's first confirmed Cabinet member.
After all, the Republicans can't say no to A. Blinken!
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Do you know the top 15 states to live in?
Alaska, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, & Maine
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.
...It was Kief or Southernland.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
What is the only American State that has ever been married?
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︎ Nov 24 2020
A state trooper pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway
Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting
The trooper crank down his window and yelled to the driver βpull overβ
βNo!β yelled the woman βitβs a cardiganβ
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︎ Dec 16 2020
It shares border with more states than any other. Missouri loves company.
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︎ Mar 19 2021
What state has the smallest drinks ?
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︎ Feb 04 2021
I heard a kangaroo can jump higher than the Empire State building.
Actually, they all can. Buildings don't jump at all.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
The police arrested water because it was wanted in three states
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︎ Jan 04 2021
What's a state where the men don't know anything?
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︎ Feb 04 2021
What is the only state mentioned in the bible? Arkansas.
Noah looked out of the ark and saw two doves.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
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