State puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TSUplayer74
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Can anyone give me capitals and state puns?

For example I have: What's the capital of Alaska? I'm pretty sure Juneau (You know)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twin802
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2016
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Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know I’m getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.

She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beer….

EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! ❀️

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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How much does the entire United States cost?

Nothing, because it's a free country

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenonthewizlard
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
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What state in the US drinks the smallest cans of soda?

Minnesota.

Yeah.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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53 states would make us indivisible
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ekim84
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...

Mo-roccan.

This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sneakymooseattack
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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Why did the Koala immigrate to the United States?

Because he wanted the right to bear arms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theAchilliesHIV
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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What can jump higher, the empire state building or a kangaroo

The kangaroo cause the empire state building can't jump

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nobody492
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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What do you call a bee that is from the United States

A USB

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nobody492
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...

Solid, liquid and gas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brundonius
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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Arkansas is the only state mentioned in the Bible.

β€œNoah walked out onto the ark and saw....”

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/watzit_t00ya
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Was your waist the 16th president of the United States?

...cause those hips don’t lie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/connolnp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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Why does Missouri like being surrounded by other states?

Because Missouri loves company!

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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Won an award for growing the biggest pickle in the state.

It’s kinda a big dill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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Not to brag, but yesterday i beat the state chess champion in less than five moves.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poshnoshlosh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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United States of BEE
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elthedorito
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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What do you say to The President Of The United States when he leaves abruptly?

Okay, Biden.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwishidie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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We need to add PR, DC, and Guam, as states.

53 is a prime number. Then we can truly be one nation, indivisible.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DubNationAssemble
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard

whoops wrong sub

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterPorky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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What do cowboys use to move from state to state?

Yee-Hauls

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iAmDrakesEyebrows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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The Texas state Aquarium taught a crow to play connect four, too bad they didn't teach it Clue...

I bet it would murder the game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RufusMoray
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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Murphy's Law states anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you heard of Cole's Law?

It's shredded cabbage

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πŸ‘€︎ u/loloPogi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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what kind of nap is illegal in 50 states and the district of columbia

kidnap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twitchard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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Now that Donald Trump is no longer President, the United States is experiencing post-nut clarity.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/femifoodie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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So I was talking with a friend about states

me: do you know the abbreviations for ohio and oklahoma?

friend: no

me: oh ok

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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BREAKING: North Korean Leader in vegetative state following surgery.

They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Otherwise-Sherbet
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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My buddy Ian is a strong proponent of state surveillance of citizens. I disagree and think it's a bad idea, so I said...

"Or, well, Ian..."

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Donald Trump is currently organizing pigeons against the united states government.

He's plotting a coo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What state in the US speaks Japanese?

Ohio

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redzzdelady
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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Q: Which US State loves company?

A: Missouri

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Why couldn't Biden see his Secretary of State?

Because he was Blinken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Echos_myron123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Did you hear about the depressive state of US?

It's a Missouri

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iruny
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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The Secretary of State will be Biden's first confirmed Cabinet member.

After all, the Republicans can't say no to A. Blinken!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Do you know the top 15 states to live in?

Alaska, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, & Maine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ttynny20
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.

...It was Kief or Southernland.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AquamarineCheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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What is the only American State that has ever been married?

Mrs. Ippi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabid_Badger_83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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A state trooper pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway

Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting

The trooper crank down his window and yelled to the driver β€œpull over”

β€œNo!” yelled the woman β€œit’s a cardigan”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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It shares border with more states than any other. Missouri loves company.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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What state has the smallest drinks ?

Mini-soda

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigLittlePenis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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I heard a kangaroo can jump higher than the Empire State building.

Actually, they all can. Buildings don't jump at all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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The police arrested water because it was wanted in three states

Gas, liquid, and solid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cvzmir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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What's a state where the men don't know anything?

I don't know Alaska.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afrojap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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What is the only state mentioned in the bible? Arkansas.

Noah looked out of the ark and saw two doves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Enofile
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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