π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
A walk in St. Petersburg
π︎ 218
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
This is not oc content it MAY be a re p o st
π︎ 77
π
︎ Jun 20 2020
So, 3 nuns die in a car crash and end up before the gates of St Peter....
St Peter says to the nuns "Given you are nuns and have devoted your life to good works you only need to answer a single question each to enter Heaven."
He looks to the first nun and asks "where did the first woman live?"
The first nun quickly replied "the garden of Eden".
St Peter nods approval and looks to the second nun "what was the name of the first woman?"
The second nun pauses for a second and then replies "Eve."
"Well done!" Says St Peter before turning to the third nun and saying "As the Mother Superior you should be able to answer this; what did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him?"
The Mother Superior furrows her brow and says "oh, that's a hard one".
"Correct!" Says St Peter. "You may enter."
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Apr 15 2020
Just had a dealer try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.'
π︎ 18
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
I asked Carrie if she understands what the consequences would be if every "st" was replaced wit a "w"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
"Have you ever done anything good?" St. Peter asked a guy when he showed up at the Pearly Gates. "To protect a young girl I punched the leader of a motorcycle gang, kicked his bike over, and told them all to back off!" said the man. St. Peter was impressed, "When did you do this?"
"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Sep 22 2019
A chicken pie in Jamaica costs Β£2.00. A chicken pie in Trinidad costs Β£2.14. A chicken pie in St Kitts costs Β£2.09.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
I asked the driver if this ride would take me to 4th Street in St.Louis, Missouri.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
Why are people is St. Louis so hospitable?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 19 2020
Every time I visit my Dad in St. Louis, he walks into the room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong...
His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 03 2020
Not St John
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 19 2020
My friend hurt his foot walking around a St.Louis landmark...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 16 2020
So I heard that due to Coronavirus, Ireland is cancelling St. Patty's celebrations...
They're trying to stop the infection from Dublin.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 10 2020
Mount St. Helens is a great mountain.
But it was at its peak in the 80s.
Stolen and butchered from https://xkcd.com/2308:
Title text was βIt's a good mountain but it really peaked in the 80s.β
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 19 2020
St. Elmoβs fire π₯
π︎ 31
π
︎ Oct 15 2019
Last St. Patrick's Day I went out drinking, had a bit too much so I took a bus home.
That may be no big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Mar 17 2020
The timing of the Corona virus is perfect for St. Patrickβs day
Because the cases keep Dublin.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 17 2020
Couldn't get out for St. Patrick's day......
So had quarantinis in the house instead!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 17 2020
Whoβs Neck-st
π︎ 104
π
︎ Apr 30 2019
Happy belated St. Patrick's day!
π︎ 38
π
︎ Mar 18 2019
A couple is walking in St Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve...
They feel some precipitation.
"I think it's raining" says the man.
"No, it's snowing" says the woman.
"Why don't we ask this communist officer?" Asks the man. "He's always right! Excuse me, officer Rudolf, is it raining or snowing?"
"Definitely raining" he says, before walking off.
The man turns to his wife with a smile. "See? Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Nov 05 2016
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
π︎ 13
π
︎ Mar 17 2019
Punny Hashtag for St. Patrickβs Day
Hey guys, I am tasked with designing a hashtag for out Paddyβs day. I work in an Irish pub and itβs a huge day for us. I was thinking #guinesspartystarted or #mindyouownguiness. Any awesome ideas? Thanks
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 05 2019
I bearly finished my fur-st meme
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 07 2019
The city of St. Louis is offering huge tax breaks to major corporations so that big businesses can move in.
Because Missouri loves Company.
π︎ 26
π
︎ May 19 2019
I changed my religion to follow the teachings of St. Francis, my dad was not pleased
He said 'no son of mine is going to be assisi!'
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 13 2019
I'd ask for assistance from St. Francis...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 04 2019
Every year St Patrick's Day gets bigger
I think it might even keep on Dublin.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 17 2019
Iβm the principal of a school called St.Richard
So I guess you could say Iβm the dickhead.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 15 2019
Happy St. Patrick's Day! Why should you never iron a shirt with shamrocks on it?
You don't want to press your luck.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 17 2019
[Wholesum] Euler Meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates
St. Peter: Your number's up Euler, and Isaac Newton says you have to count all the spheres in the universe before you can enter heaven. What say ye?
Euler: Sigma balls, Dick.
Sigma is used to notate summation.
Summation is the process of adding things together.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 17 2018
St. Atue
The patron saint of standing still for long periods of time...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 09 2019
In honor of St Patrick's Day being a warm day,
I plan on having a beer outside sitting on our Paddy O'Furniture.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 17 2018
What do you call an alligator that works on Wall St.?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 01 2018
Did you know that you can't order fountain drinks larger than 8 ounces in St. Paul?
It's mini soda law.
Bonus joke: where are the trees in Minnesota?
Between da twos and da fours.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 09 2018
PSA: Remember, Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you. They Seamus all.
π︎ 42
π
︎ Mar 17 2017
I want to get my daughters cubic zirconia rings for St. Patrick's Day.
That way, they'll have shamrocks.
If I pull this off, it will be quite the lepre-chaun.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 14 2018
"Enter heaven or go back to Earth, which would you like more?", asked St. Peter.
I'd like to go back but I'm no More.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 05 2018
Every time I visit my dad in St. Louis, he will walk into a room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong.
His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jul 26 2017
A chicken pie in Jamaica costs $2.00. A chicken pie in Trinidad costs $2.40. A chicken pie in St. Kitts costs $2.15.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
π︎ 189
π
︎ Mar 06 2019
Wife and I are walking in St. Petersburg and get into an argument whether the precipitation we feel is rain or snow. So we ask the communist officer Rudolph standing next to us.
"Office Rudolph," I ask. "Is it raining or snowing?"
"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
I turn to my wife. "See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
π︎ 159
π
︎ Jun 08 2018
Every year St Patrickβs day keeps on getting bigger
I think it might even keep on Dublin
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 18 2019
Im a principal of a school called St. Richards
So I guess you could say Im the dickhead
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 16 2019
I'm the principal of a school called st richards
I guess you could said I'm the dickhead
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 15 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
