How to speak in tongues

Shoulda bought a Honda, but I bought a Hyundai

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrStevenJobs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2017
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Poor furniture choices

My son is just starting to walk from furniture item to furniture item. My wife comments to me that he is also teething, so his tongue is out.

Wife: he's linking the furniture. Me: does it taste good. Wife (speaking in a high voice as my son): I don't think so dad. Me: are you saying your parents don't have good tastin' furniture?

Wife starts laughing uncontrollably.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/legalkimchi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2016
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"How do you say 'my birthday is' in Spanish?

I have a fairly strict rule about only speaking in Spanish in my class, especially when asking "ΒΏCΓ³mo se dice?" or "How do you say?" So, when a student asked me in English, "How do you say 'my birthday' in Spanish?" I responded:

"With my lungs, larynx, lips, tongue, and teeth."

The class blinked for two seconds before groaning in unison. She then asked the question, correctly, en espaΓ±ol. But, I think I now understand why cats purr.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2015
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