As a mafia hitman, my story of a successful mission I was assigned--which had me assassinate a decade of mob bosses--usually started as similarly sounding like the layman's term of the fibrous tissue along the calves and heels...
"I killed these ten Dons..."
My daughter and I were playing on the beach today when I picked up her small bucket and stared at it for a long time. Puzzled, she asked, "Daddy, what're you doing!!?" Sounding concerned, I said, "Your bucket is sick!"
Surprised, she asked, "How do you know?"
I replied, "Well, it's a little pail!"
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
If pronouncing all my "V"s like "B"s, makes me sound Russian...
I can't believe chickens haven't come up with a new sound yet
Maybe they should start thinking outside the bawks
What sound does an upside down cow make?
What's orange and sounds like a parrot ?
I made a joke about the song Staying Alive and how it sounds like women singing. Apparently many of you didn’t like it.
Hereby my sincere apolobeegies!
English for foreigners... When do S and C sound the same?
What did the sound engineer say on his last day of work?
What sound does a 747 make when it crash lands ?
What sound do witches' cars make?
Scientists have recently recorded the sounds of two helium atoms laughing
What sound do drag racing street sweepers make?
My wife tells me I have 2 major faults,
I don't listen - and something else.
What sound does a peanut make when it sneezes?
Sounds fishy
What did the fish say afer bumping into a wall
Damn
As English my second language, pretty proud of this one.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
I know a Polish sound technician.
800 in German Sounds Like if Zeus Became a Scottish Highlander
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
How do we know that a tree makes a sound if it falls in the forest?
Because it will dialogue.
Art supplies are a sound financial investment
That’s why it’s called “art appreciation”
Ugh too much sugar I'm drowning here!
Arkansas is the only state mentioned in the Bible.
“Noah walked out onto the ark and saw....”
Light travels faster than sound..
That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it's heart.
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely
What sound do two Mercs make when they collide?
What sound does a bear without a ear make?
My 3yo is in a phase where he makes up words a lot, and today I heard him singing "Crotch-ohs, crotch-ohs" over and over. I told my wife, "That sounds like the worst breakfast cereal ever..."
"But at least it's made with whole groins."
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
What sound does a podiatrist make when he sneezes?
Ashoe!
...I’ll show myself out.
How does a lamb, a drum, and a snake sound falling off a cliff?
Baa-dum-sss.
(Told by literally my dad)
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison.
Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
Sounds more respectable and hot.
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze ?
What is made of leather, a foot long and sounds like a sneeze?
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
What’s made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
What’s made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
What's orange and sounds like a parrot
I have a Russian friend who is a sound technician.
And I have a Czech one too. A Czech one too.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
Son, What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
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