But how come nobody ever mentions the jackhammer?
So was heading out of my room to the hallway and right when I opened the door, I ran into my roommate eating a plain slice of bread. We both surprised each other, so we just froze for a second. I don't even know how it happened, but the words instinctively came out of my mouth as if I was born to say them.
"Looks like I caught you...bread-handed."
i mean they are quite remarkable
Next day you are toast.
There was naan.
A below-knee sandwich
A club sandwich.
It's the Wurst Käse scenario.
⬆️
A deck of carbs!
It's now being bread in captivity
It's a wholemeal slice
It was delivered.
When I asked the keeper why, he said, "It was bread in captivity!"
Me: "You want me to make you a sandwich?"
Son: "Ummm ... sure."
Me: grabs two slices of bread and puts his hand in between them "There, you're a hand sandwich."
He slid the loaf into the oven to bake. He told his son, “This bread is for a very special occasion, so I’m going to make a back-up.” He then plopped an extra loaf’s worth of dough onto the table, sliced it into two equal pieces, and immediately put them away. The boy asked, “Dad, why’d you do that?” The baker smiled and told his son, “It’s better to halve it and not knead it.”
Me and my boyfriend, making breakfast.
Me: Can you please roast the last slice of bread for me?
BF: Yes, sure.
Takes out the bread, looks at it and says: YOU'RE UGLY!
Me: *laughing* NOT THAT KIND OF ROASTING!
The menu says "eat, drink, and feel Merry"
Dad says "and then Mary got mad and went home"
Hehehehehehe
Wife (making sandwiches and referring to the end slices of bread): “Do you want the ends?”
Me: as long as they justify the means.”
Wife: (groans)
I really love this new panini press I just bought
Its the greatest thing FOR sliced bread :D
Will: Make me a sandwich
Jeffrey puts a slice of bread on Will's head
Jeffrey: There, you're a sandwich.
Dad is putting butter on my brothers bread slice. My brother doesn't want to have butter only in the center.
Brother: "Put butter on the edges"
Dad puts butter on the outside edges of the slice and hands it back to brother.
Brother is not amused.
Dad: "You told me to put butter on the edges" :-)
At dinner this evening, discussing the bread we were eating.
Me: I should have toasted mine before I put butter on it.
Dad: Here, I'll toast it for you. Raises glass "Here's to Hatgirl's slice!"
I'm too young to remember this one but it's one of my sisters favorite childhood memories. She's asked that I share it with you.
My mom was in the kitchen one afternoon making lunch for the family. She asked my dad what he wanted to eat and he replied "a light sandwich"
My mom then proceeded to put a small light bulb in his sandwich (small enough to not be super noticeable.
My sister, probably about 5 years old, was in a fit of giggles as she had noticed this. He took off the top slice of bread and saw the light bulb and just stared at my mom.
"Well...you did say you wanted a light sandwich"
