Getting interviewed for a job as a blacksmith: Interviewer: Do you have any experience shoeing a horse?
Me: No, but I once told a donkey to F off.
Shoe puns
What kind of shoes does a Ninja wear?
-Sneakers
What shoes does a skater wear?
-slippers
What shoes does a Lumberjack wear?
-Timberlands
What shoes does a doctor wear?
-Sholl’s
What shoes does a priest wear?
-don’t know but I’m sure it’s got a Sole
I’ll see myself out
Two shoe puns for the price of one.
My wife looked at my son (7) yesterday and told him his shoes were on the wrong feet
Without missing a beat he said "They can't be, these are the only feet I have"
Proud dad moment!
What kind of shoes do bakers wear?
A man with 2 left feet walks into a shoe store and asks...
"Do you sell flip flips?"
Never criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
That way you are a mile away and you have their shoes.
What is the best armor for stealth?
Leather. It's made of hide.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
What kind of shoes a thief wear?
Did you hear about the shoe factory that burned down?
Luckily no soles were lost.
What are a kidnappers favourite type of shoes?
I bought some new shoes from my drug dealer today...
I have no idea what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!
What kind of shoes do Transformers like to wear?
Why did the Dutch robot shoes fail?
No one likes clever clogs!
What brand of shoe is a Czech's favorite?
I've decided to stop tying my shoes
My black belt friend had to put lifts in his shoes...
...adding insoles to ninjary.
What foot dont they make shoes for?
Humans go through reincarnation. What do shoes go through?
What shoes does a ninja wears to work?
What did the shoe say when he was the last one left alive?
“I guess I’m the sole survivor”
Kid: [whining] “Dad, will you put my shoes on?.” Dad: “No...
...they’ll never fit me.”
What did the quiet shoe say to the chatty, obnoxious shoe?
What is a synonym for a pair of shoes?
The plumber's kids all got new shoes for Christmas.
My girlfriend and I have the same shoes
I guess you could say we are solemates
From my 4 year old daughter: What does a shoe call an octopus?
Why don't cows wear shoes ?
They lactose. ( lack toes ? ) . I'll see my self out.
My son flushed one of his shoes down the toilet, stopping it up...
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
Why did the distance runner buy a new pair of shoes?
It would be helpful in the long run.
What do you get if you cross a shoe with a tent?
I don't understand why people buy velcro shoes.
Last night a thief broke into the shoe factory.
He was the sole perpetrator.
The markup on molded rubber shoes is obscene
Why did the teenager give a shoe with wheels a math test?
Because he wanted to make a skate bored!
Why didn't the pro golfer wear his golf shoes during the round? (Compliments of my stylist)
Because he's got a hole in one.
If your left shoe was a Pokemon, what would it evolve into?
I recently bought a new pair of Orpothedic shoes
Doctor: No, it's pronounced 'Orthopedic'
Me: Ah, I stand corrected
"What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
First Trainers, then Sneakers!"
Going to treat myself to Velcro shoes, instead of laces.
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl
...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.
Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '
Thank you for the awards
So, I was in a coffee shop drinking tea, and when I reached down to tie my shoe, my tea was gone!
I saw this guy with the same cup as me and chased him down the street. Finally caught up with him and realized...that’s not my cup of tea
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
I bought a pair of shoes from this drug dealer yesterday
I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping the whole day.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer...
Don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day
"Dad, can you put my shoes on?"
"No, I don't think they'll fit me."
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