I was disappointed by my recent theatre trip the other day: I thought it was a comedy set in a hospital but turns out it was just a play on wards.
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
I still donβt get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
Poor bastard.
Because it was hungry
The second guy died.
I told him, βI donβt think they have what youβre looking for, sir.β
9mm bullets hurt like hell.
12 second
Edit1: Since so many of you guys are confused, it's like January second, February second and so on.
Edit2: No 22nd doesn't count.
"Neil before me"
It's because they dilate.
...really trumps the first one.
A reservation reservation reservation
It was here a minute ago.
I told her it was because Ken came in another box.
I asked her how she could possibly get anything done in such a short amount of time.
This ainβt my first rodeo.
It was an AL Gore rhythm.
A minute passes
"But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now!"
... I love it when the clocks go forward!
Taken from fb
UBUNTU.
SurPise!
Doc says "Okay, you're ugly too."
Letter B
It's a minute tour.
That'd be a different story all together.
De-calf-inated!
Edit: it's been pointed out some people pronounce calf as cΔlf, so its taking a second. Pronounce it like decaffeinated coffee.
Face time
It's Important.
Because I want to know
It was very time consuming
It's a whole new take on Asian Fusion.
Neil before me
Neil before me.
Neil before me.
