The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
No tres passing.β
Neil before him.
They keep asking for dose dos
"I artichoke you for that"
Because it was hungry
The second guy died.
9mm bullets hurt like hell.
This ainβt my first rodeo.
"But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now!"
... I love it when the clocks go forward!
UBUNTU.
SurPise!
Letter B
It's a minute tour.
That'd be a different story all together.
Because I want to know
This technique became known as Munch Housen by Proxy.
I hope she feels gelty.
Should my jokes become worse or more frequent?
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.
It's the Wurst-kΓ€se-scenario
She asks me to bring it drop it off at the lab for her and I ask, βwhere do I drop it off?β
She says, βGo in the front door and thereβs a little desk that you -β
βDonβt you mean a LITTLE STOOL!?β
... I hope you guys enjoy that as much as I did. True story happened today!
Because they were a Band-Aid
Iβm board.
In retrospect we shouldnβt have been on that escalator.
At this rate, he will never be there on time.
I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he wonβt do that.
The penultimate, ultimate pen.
Dijon vu
Second dog leaps up and goes berserk...
They're calling it the Flea Market
The Swasti-car.
"Neil before me"
Neil before me
Neil before me.
Neil before me.
"Yeahβ¦" she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right nowβ¦"
Neil before me
Neil before me.
Neil before him.
