Welcome to Seasonal Pun Emporium!
We’ve got all wordplay for all your seasonal needs. You’ll have so much fun, you’ll never want to leaf. Do You want puns that really only work this time of year? We gautumn!
(Okay but actually those are my only two. In the spirit of fall disclosure).
A lightly seasoned pun
Me: Just added more watersoftener salt and now my mouth tastes salty....I guess you can say the salt aSALTed me.
Friend 1: facepalm
Me: Don't be so salty about this, it was only a lightly salted joke
Friend 2: The humor, it needs more seasoning!
Me: I'll give it more thyme to sink in.
Just started my new job as a security guard. The supervisor told me my job would be to watch the office at night.
I’m on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.
What is the Spring season's favorite kind of pickles?
My wife said that the steak was over-seasoned
But she says that a lot, so take it with a grain of salt.
Tax season dad joke: How do pimps manage to maximize their tax refunds?
By reporting all their earnings as Gross Income
Someone told me that my chicken recipe needs better seasoning.
So I’ve decided to wait until next summer to cook it again.
Season 2 of the Queen’s Gambit will have Beth Harmon move to Prague.
The chess playing main character wants a Czech mate
What do you call a polar bear in the jungle?
I fell into a giant seasoning processor
Now I'm parsley disfigured
Finished season 5 and now I’m sad
I entered a seasoning contest and got first place.
The judges said my entry was the best of all thyme.
What is the most victorious season?
(My 11 year old daughter thought of this)
Winter
'Tis the season for original content :^)
I was diagnosed with Dunlaps Disease shortly after feasting my way through the holiday season...
Yep, my belly dunlaps over my belt.
I was watching my son play a Zelda game and I told him it's more effective to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons. He looked at me all confused and asked why? I told him it's because...
that way you won't take any fall damage.
My dad just told me his joke about seasoning a pot roast.
Happy Ho.idays to friends and .oved ones c.ose and far. B.essings to you and yours this Yu.e season.
(This is my No-L greeting.)
Did you hear about the soldier who was attacked with mustard gas and pepper spray?
He was a seasoned veteran!
If you have the soldiers named Salt and Pepper in your squad then consider yourself lucky.
They're seasoned veterans
What do you call an agnostic person during the Christmas season?
What is an accountant's favourite season?
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
What was Bob Marley's favorite seasoning?
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?
There was noel
Wife (madly tapping at phone): my sound is not working
Me (a seasoned dad): I can hear you just fine
My brother has been making amazing chicken on the grill for as long as I can remember.
I’d say he’s a seasoned pro.
I quit my job as a taste tester at the herbal seasonings factory...
... I found the work too Thyme consuming.
How does a military fanatic season their food?
With a salt rifle and pepper spray.
My wife always yells at me for not knowing how to properly season my food, but I don’t mind.
I take it with a pinch of sugar.
My wife has just left me because of my obsession with football...
Shame really, we've only been married for 2 seasons.
How much seasoning do you put on pork chops?
To which season is bowtie pasta best suited?
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.
How does a cop season their food?
With assault and pepper spray!
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