"It's frozen food again for dinner today"

I said while scooping out ice cream

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👤︎ u/KazuKazu95
📅︎ Jul 21 2020
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My brother has recently got into going to the gym and has brought some whey protein powder

Every time he scoops some into his protein shake I go "Are you going to weigh it out, or just scoop it?" Followed by a beautiful groan

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👤︎ u/Dr00000100
📅︎ Jan 09 2020
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A man walks into an ice cream parlor

and says, “Give me two scoops of chocolate.”

The guy behind the counter says, “I’m sorry sir, we’re out of chocolate.”

The man replies with, “well, in that case...hm... give me two scoops of chocolate.”

The guy behind the counter says, “Sir, I’m sorry but we’re out of chocolate.”

The man, thinking hard this time says, “Well, I want two scoops of chocolate.”

The guy behind the counter, now irate, says, “Sir, can you spell the straw in strawberry?”

“S-T-R-A-W”

“Can you spell the van in vanilla?”

“V-A-N”

“Can you spell the fuck in chocolate?”

The man thinks for a second and says, “There is no ‘fuck’ in chocolate.”

The guy behind the counter slaps the countertop with his hand and says, “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! There is no fuckin’ chocolate.”

👍︎ 27
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📅︎ Aug 28 2018
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So I'm telling my son to do his chores...

This happened about 5 minutes ago; Dad: Son, go out and scoop the poop. See that crap over there? Yeah, the dog pooped on the deck, so get it all.

Son: (with a smirk on his face) So it's the poop deck? Hahahaha!!

We all laughed!

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Aug 11 2017
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Dad joked my mom, you could say it was a bit cheesy

Today I attempted for the first time ever to make my own mozzarella. I had my mom help me out because some of the instructions were very exact and I needed some extra hands. As we're scooping the curds from the pot and straining it I paused and said:

"Hang on a second, let me get that out of the whey."

We both stood there laughing for a bit, it was so bad it was good.

👍︎ 31
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📅︎ Jun 18 2014
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Dad n Cheese

My friend and I were eating at a southern buffet. As he was scooping out some mac n cheese, the older man beside him said: "Oh, my son loves that stuff!"

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/brthmrk
📅︎ Oct 19 2014
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