Why do Air Force pilots salute differently?

Because they’re above us.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyMo1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Why don't the Jedi take off their shirts to greet each other?

Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrandMoffTarkan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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What's the most common word that only contains one letter?

Envelope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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What do you call it when you do the Hitler salute 5 times?

It's a Heil five

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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When doing my son salutation, I call this variation on child's pose, "Downward Dad" imgur.com/hOpdbkb
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoBeefy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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Did you know that the soldiers at Arlington salute their new Jack-o-Lanterns every Halloween?

They always honor the changing of the Gourd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpmbrent
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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Why do you always salute a refrigerator?

Because it's General Electric.

Or Admiral I suppose.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Ab Salute Gym, spotted in Essex today
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πŸ‘€︎ u/quadrophen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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E-flat walks into a bar. The bar tender looks up and says,

β€œI’m sorry. We don’t serve minors.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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I just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for his birthday.

I have no idea why he was so desperate for an ex box.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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Salutations for the Swedish pre-fab furniture store.

Took my wife and 3yo to the big blue and yellow today. Pulling into the parking my kid says "Dad are we there yet?" and I said "Yup...<start waving> "Hi-kea"! And she laughed and my wife groaned. Then about an hour later we were driving out, car's quiet, kid is nodding off..and I just say really loud..."BYE-Kea!!!". More groans all around. So yeah, kind of a daily double.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedavemcsteve
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2017
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I salute you, coastal butcher.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ofquartz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2013
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A Chinese New Year Salutation: dadjoke edition.

In honour of the year of the horse:

Kung 'neigh' fat choi!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fubarite
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2014
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After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to me…

Dear Dad,

University i$ really great.

I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.

With all my $tuff, I $imply Β’an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, your $usie.

I immediately replied back…

Dear Susie,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.

Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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What do you call a waving pepper?

A Hola-peno

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πŸ‘€︎ u/19thCreator
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2015
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Did you hear about the karate man that joined the army?

When he saluted, he nearly killed himself!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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What do people in the military call their jokes?

G. I. Jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Christletoe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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Parlez-vous français ?

Dad: What do you have there in your porridge, son?

Son: Just wheat and bananas

Dad: Salut "and bananas", je suis ton père

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qwerp-Derp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2017
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My grandad just busted this one out...

Mammoth, do you know what a shitsu is?

A breed of dog?

No, a zoo with no animals.

uuuuuuuurghhhhh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrRagingMammoth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
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Someone made a genocide joke in the office today...

Co-worker: "Was that a genocide joke?"

Joker: "Yes, genocide jokes kill."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WalterBrickyard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2015
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Egalitarian Punctuation

I work in IT at a university, and I was requested to update a template email my office sends out to prospective students. Whenever I start an email, I always begin with the salutation "Hello [student name]. With a full stop period.

Among the other changes requested, folk wanted me to change the period to a comma, because it "looks better" or something. I don't know.

After a bit of back and forth, I gave in and said "Fine. I'll give in to your filthy comma-unist ways." Many groans were had all around the office.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crepusculi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2016
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Dadgamer pulled this one in a round of World of Tanks

o7, as we all know, is used to "salute" other players. A friend of mine who's a father of 3 got sick of seeing this emoticon and said during the match: "You folks really need to get your calendars checked, it's 2014, not '07"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karranas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
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Did you hear about the karate master who joined the army?

They killed themselves with their first salute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rDacted
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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