If Morgan Freeman pledges to donate his organs after death, his name after he dies will be M Freeman.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eshareth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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The essence of capitalism is right there in the Pledge!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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I Pledge to clean all my furniture.

I'm serious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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During the pledge of allegiance I sit after β€œto the republic”

I just want you to know I understand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Sized
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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How do you insult someone who is pledging a fraternity?

You call them Oedipus β€” a Greek motherfucker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FISHunderscore
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
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A joke that takes a while to evolve

To celebrate the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin, the scientific community joined together for a party. As is common at such gatherings, the Biologists began to argue about what species was the most suited to its environment. Finally after much heated debate, a group of scientists pledged to spend the rest of the year exhaustively researching the Biological record to once and for all determine which creature was the ultimate example of adaptivity and proficiency ever to live.

Yesterday, the results were announced at the National Academy of Sciences. The creature identified as the most adaptive and proficient in Earth's history was a previously unknown animal from the Mesozoic era, a water dwelling insect that thrived for a hundred million years.

It was ... a FishAnt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Extreme kite flying

I've decided to explore the competitive world of extreme kite flying. I pledge to keep grounded, no matter my soaring success.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/c3c3ume
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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What do they require the wooden throne to be polished with?

Pledge, of Allegiance

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2xj59ae
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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Got my buddy over pool

Even though we've been out of college for years, my fraternity pledge son and I still get together every week to play some pool. This week, we were discussing werewolves and where they fit in the mythical creature hierarchy.

"Werewolves are obviously the best," he says.

"That makes sense you'd like them," I reply. "You're like halfway one already."

"Oh, is it because of this?" he asks, gesturing toward his hair, his beard, his hairy chest.

"No, cause you're a human when the moon's not full."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xuol
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2015
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