My dad wanted to post something on Reddit and I told him there’s specific subs he would want to post on and certain ways to post

And he responded β€œoh so there’s reddiquette to it then”

(Also he’s on Reddit now so if he sees this then hi dad)

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoutTreeeFiddy
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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He’s wright!
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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At least he’s trying
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ogkerung
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Today’s my husband’s birthday and he’s a huge pencil enthusiast. I got him a great gift

Seems like someone’s gonna get lead tonight.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kimvandashian
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I challenged my son, "Take 4 and subtract 2 from it. What’s left? Rolling his eyes, he sighed, "2." I yelled, NOPE!"

"The opposite of right!"

πŸ‘︎ 486
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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What’s something they called Bruce Lee before and after he died?

Dead-Lee

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WTFisaMcNasty
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cienpies
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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I’m sure he’s thrilled
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainRon16
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I was bartending and a man came in with his son. β€œIs it okay if he sits here? He’s a minor”

β€œI don’t care what his job is. If he wants a drink, let’s get him a drink.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bookingjames
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop in your pants, but he’s not buying it. In fact...

He’s still making fun of me...

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I mean. He’s not wrong
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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You know, the CEO of IKEA was elected the prime minister of Sweden. Wanna know what he’s doing right know?

Assembling his cabinet

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PickledJuice69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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No no, he’s got a point
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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he’s right!
πŸ‘︎ 579
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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A guy asks Pinocchio if he wants to take a day off from working at Gepetto’s workshop to see a bonfire.

Pinocchio says, β€œI would, but I’m afraid of getting fired”.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer’s wife say to him after he hotboxed the stable?

Get off your high horse.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jillyjoyohoho
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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He’s not wrong...
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carcrazy2017
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My dog chewed up a bunch of stuff yesterday. Now he’s feeling gnawseous
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doblanon5short
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Oh my baby he’s drowning!!!

Oh the human-itee

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobotReceptionist
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the worst thing that’ll happen to the Gaetz household if he gets busted?

His son will end up an empty Nestor.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/calicouple271
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Jay Leno went to Morgan Freeman’s house and had a lot of drinks. Leno suddenly started to urinate on Freeman’s carpet. Freeman was furious and ran after him as he kept on urinating. The banker next door saw the whole thing and decided to start a bank...

Kids, that is the true story of how Jay-pee-Morgan-chase was named

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/damilalam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What does Thor need now that he’s fat?

Gastric Bifrost Surgery

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tk289
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...

"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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While doing a crossword, the cyclops asked his wife, "How do you spell Hawaii?" Glancing at what he wrote, she replied, "You need two i’s."

Cyclops growled, "My life is just a big joke to you, isn’t it!?"

πŸ‘︎ 410
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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No no, he’s got a point
πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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So I was at Chili’s the other day and when a waiter came to take our order, I asked him to turn the heat up and when he asked why

I replied it seems a bit chilly in here. I’m now banned at all Chili’s restaurants in the USA

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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I asked an Australian kid what’s a clever comeback down under. He said...

Ok, boomerang.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My buddy used to paint these beautiful beach scapes when he lived on the coast, but since he’s moved away, he won’t paint any more.

I guess he’s now an ex-cape-artist...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sully1227
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I finished reading Bon Jovi’s biography and had the wonderful chance to ask him if he actually did the stuff in his biography.

He just shrugged and said it’s my life

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimilarThought9
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked my friend how he’s finding work as an elevator attendant

He says it has it ups and downs.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
My kid’s chemistry teacher was arrested in class yesterday. He was pouring out teaspoons of sodium chloride for each student, but because the class was rowdy, he kept losing his place and having to start over.

The police charged him with multiple counts of a salt.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WCBrann
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
The produce person at my grocery store said I should try this vegetable, β€œIt’s out of this world ... radical!” he exclaimed.

In truth, it was just rad-ish.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WCBrann
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Paul McCartney say when he met John’s new girlfriend?

Ono, Ono, Ono no no no...

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
How does β€œThe One” heal if he’s injured in the Matrix?

Neosporin.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
He’s got the spirit
πŸ‘︎ 145
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πŸ‘€︎ u/According-Ad8779
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine makes good money selling camel’s milk, but he has to put up with surly camels all day.

It’s a drama dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WCBrann
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Well he’s not wrong
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What would Gordon Ramsay’s stage name be if he was a wrestler?

Buff Wellington

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ceuqi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I broke up with my boyfriend because I realised he’s a communist

Now that I look back, there were a lot of red flags

πŸ‘︎ 363
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vicki_vicki
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What would HitlerΒ΄s book have been called if he had actually become a painter?

Mein Craft

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocksolidsalmon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
The last thing my grandfather said before he died was, β€œIt’s worth it to spend money on good speakers.”

That was some sound advice.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack once told me he’s cut down 27,562 trees

β€œHow do ya know exactly how many?” I inquired

Lumberjack: β€œEasy. I keep a log.”

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomguy6282
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the teacher say when s/he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexsaintmartin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
One of my colleagues has just told me he’s caught COVID-19 from his cat...

Don’t ask meow.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheifsup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m not saying he’s dumb

But he does think an asset is a little donkey.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
This guy told me he was Harry Potter’s godfather. I thought he was messing with me.

He told me he was Sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Humidittities
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report

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