25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
Three women were on the run from the law (A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead).
Their car breaks down next to a corn field and they decide to run through it as the law is quickly approaching. They stumble upon a barn. Inside they find three burlap sacks and one of them suggests they should each hide inside one. Shortly after, the sherriff and his deputies arrive at the barn. They notice the three sacks.
The sheriff kicks the first one containing the brunette and she says "Meow, meow."
"Oh it's just a sack of kittens." One of the deputies says.
The sherriff kicks the sack where the redhead is hiding and she says "woof, woof."
"That's just a sack of puppies" they say.
The sherriff kicks the third sack with the blonde inside and she exclaims "Potato, potato."
π︎ 26
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
What do you call a little person psychic on the run from the cops?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.
She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that heβs cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. Sheβs puzzled for a second and then says:
Icy, what you did there.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
If I happened to run into you, and fall on you perpendicularly,
Would you be cross with me?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
Did you hear about the Tesla on auto-pilot that tried to run over a cop?
It was charged with battery
π︎ 29
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
What kind of car runs on leaves?
π︎ 62
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
My grandpa used to have a job keeping score at baseball games. Every time someone scored a run, he'd whack up a mark on a chalkboard.
Nowadays you'd call him a scorekeeper, but back then he was a tally whacker.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
A guy runs into a bar and goes on a trip to the hospital.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
Two psychics run into each other on the street.
One says to the other βyouβre doing fine but how am I?β
π︎ 33
π
︎ May 24 2020
Step by step guide on how to run..
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 12 2020
Runs on Marinara
My mother always laughed at me when I told her my dream was to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 25 2020
What kind of dog runs on electricity?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 23 2020
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 26 2020
Every morning on my way to work, the same bike comes and tries to run me over.
π︎ 70
π
︎ Jan 21 2020
What do you call a short fortune teller whoβs on the run?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 23 2020
Uncle: Is he old enough to send on beer runs yet?
Me: Nah. Can't even pub crawl.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 03 2020
British computers run on microcrisps
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 07 2019
Did you hear that Elon Musk has invented a car that runs entirely on sliced cabbage?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
Two elderly women were sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. One woman has a stroke.
The other couldnβt reach.
π︎ 49
π
︎ Jul 07 2019
My dad asked me to turn on the water heater. To which I replied βItβs onβ. Only to see my dad run across the kitchen yelling βItβs on okay bring it no holding back!β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 25 2019
If being out of shape was a crime, a productive punishment would be to run on a treadmill.
It would be a run-on sentence.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 01 2019
What does a Volkswagen run on?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 24 2019
My friend used to take care of the lawn on a rich man's estate but now runs a coffee wholesale store...
He calls it The Groundskeeper.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 28 2019
If Michelle Obama were to run for president in 2020 on the campaign promise of legalizing marijuana, what would her campaign slogan be?
When they go low, we get high.
π︎ 19
π
︎ May 09 2019
While he was out, my husband text me 'I think I'll run through the car wash on my way home.'
I replied: 'Probably better to drive the car through.'
π︎ 119
π
︎ Oct 12 2018
My dad, to me: "If you ever decide to run around naked on a drunken night, always bring Windex with you."
I asked him what he meant by that.
He said "It prevents you from streaking."
I have to admit I actually genuinely laughed at that one.
π︎ 661
π
︎ Oct 08 2017
Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water.
Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.
π︎ 17
π
︎ May 28 2019
My German IT guy won't let me run the Microsoft Disk Operating System on my computer.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Oct 19 2018
People donβt approve when I run up to them on the street and try making a plaster cast of their faces.
At least thatβs the impression that I get.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 08 2019
What do you call a nun on the run?
π︎ 44
π
︎ Jun 23 2018
What would an association run by professional nuns focus on?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 05 2019
I have this recurring dream that E.T. tackles me, puts grey tape on my belly, and runs away.
I keep getting ab-duct-taped by aliens.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jun 21 2018
I just had a pun about electricians stripping to make ends meet. I run a pun hashtag on my Facebook. Here are the rest.
imgur.com/gallery/dkYzW
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 06 2017
Did you hear that GM has developed a car that runs on peanut butter?
They have a few kinks to work out.
It keeps sticking to the roof of the garage.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 15 2019
What animal on the Savannah runs everywhere hastily, i.e. it doesn't walk?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 09 2019
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 25 2018
The alarm is sounded at the batcave. Batman runs to the batmobile but it won't turn on. He tells robin to grab a new battery.
Robin says: What's a tery?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 09 2018
You can't run on a campsite
You can only ran because it's past tents
π︎ 43
π
︎ Sep 20 2015
What did you call a midget psychic on the run from the law?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
What do you call a psychic midget on the run from the police?
π︎ 39
π
︎ Aug 22 2018
What do you call a midget psychic on the run?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 16 2019
What do you call a dwarf psychic on the run from the law
π︎ 69
π
︎ Aug 18 2018
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