Musicians say if the world isn't round

It would B flat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PieShape_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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A farmer said to me β€œI have 68 sheep. Can you help round them up for me?”

I said sure. 70.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rfcoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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I called up Weight Watchers, told them there was an emergency and asked for them to send someone round!

Turns out they’ve got loads of them!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DantheMan350V2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Round of applause indeed
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Why didn't the pro golfer wear his golf shoes during the round? (Compliments of my stylist)

Because he's got a hole in one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smusac
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A Vicious circle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Famousspy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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What's the name of a knight of the round table?

Sir Cole.

β—―

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Who invented the round table?

Sir Cumference.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cumsock17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Had a painter and decorator round this week. He's a furloughed airline pilot...

He made a lovely job of the landing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Took me many rounds to get this image
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Floof_2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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Before we go to bed, my wife always recites the members of the round table..

Knight after Knight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trev2-D2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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What's white, round and giggles?

A tickled onion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I tried to convince one of my co workers to buy the first round of drinks after our shift...

He said no, but it was worth a shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingmanEXE
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Which of King Arthur's knights crafted the Round Table?

Why, Sir Cumference of course!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tremerelord
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Lesser known Knights of the Round Table

β€œI was the knight no one expected to see on the battlefield.” - Sir Prize

β€œI shall see you around.” - Sir Cumference

β€œWe shall fight on land or sea.” - Sir Fenturf

β€œI was the knight who was afraid to fight.” - Sir Render

β€œI was the unbelievable knight.” - Sir Real

β€œI was the knight that drank too much.” - Sir Rhosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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I called round at my neighbour's house early one morning and she opened the door in her nightie.

I thought, "That's a funny place for a door."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.

I'm sure that must have been a record.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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My wife and I were stuck in traffic, and I said, β€œI’m turning round”.

She said, β€œStop eating so many burgers then”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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I’m a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....”looks like you have the best job” he says, β€œwhy is that?” I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!

True dad that man!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunny_2121
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Just another joke making rounds in the Office
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kuchbhi42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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What's black and white and goes round and round ?

A penguin in a revolving door

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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Making my morning rounds in hospital when I ask a patient how his breakfast was. "The eggs and sausage were fine, but the Kentucky Jelly was awful," he replied. "What 'Kentucky Jelly'?" I ask.

Then he shows me the empty packet of KY Jelly had smeared all over his morning toast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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You win this round cheese
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anonistoner420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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What if the earth was both round and flat?

Would it be called cylindearth?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnotherKakkar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Apple just released their brand new round-shaped product

It's called the apple Ο€

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πŸ‘€︎ u/19olo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak

it wasn't really sharp of him

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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You spin me white round, baby, white round
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThackerOpinions
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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I just called a landscape gardener round to give me a quote for some astroturf..

He said he couldn't do it because my garden is portrait.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seany_Mallie17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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The knights of the round table all had a unique set of skills

Do you think Sir Lancelot was good at jousting? Or just really liked it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itwasme
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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I told my wife I dreamt I was a merry-go-round.

She told me to stop running in circles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MsMash29
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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A sheep dog says to the farmer, "I'm going to round up the sheep."

The dog comes back with 50 sheep. The farmers says, "we only have 48 sheep." The dog replies, "Yea, I told you I was going to round them up."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeGuy1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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You know those big round bales of hay? they are illegal in Wyoming...

Yeah, It turns out that the animals weren't getting a square meal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phlatbroke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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Who was the hottest knight at the Round Table?

SirRacha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clever_Sean
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Round and Round, Round and Round
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πŸ‘€︎ u/homodemen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Just got back from the supermarket - there was a guy rushing round the shop who had brought 15kg of paella rice, 5 cases of tequila, 8 sombreros and 12 piΓ±atas.

I thought to myself, Hispanic buying.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heilhanson
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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β€ͺWhat did the 25-cent coins do after a round of flipping?‬

They retired to their separate quarters‬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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I’ve just done a pub quiz and lost points in the β€œGreek Mythology” round.

It’s my Achilles Elbow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahemkeidb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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A farmer asked his dad if he could round up his 36 sheep

β€œSure,” said the dad β€œ40.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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My missus is going round spreading rumours that I'm schizophrenic.

Well, three can play at that game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Why are you supposed to round to the nearest dollar on your tax returns?

Because the IRS has no cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MSchmahl
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Who was the spiciest Knight at the round table?

Sriracha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrvckFvmp
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4rn48
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Which one of King Arthur's knights built the round table?

Sir Cumference

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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinitywee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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The roundest knight at the round table

was Sir Cumference

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ferkeshu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Had a painter round. He said he was a laid off US Airline pilot ..

Made a great job of the landing ..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SSidViciouSS
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Just had a painter and decorator round, hes a furloughed Virgin Atlantic pilot.

He made a lovely job of the landing....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Retrotone
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A sheepdog tells the farmer he's going to round up the sheep and comes back with 50 sheep and the farmer says "We only have 48 sheep."

The dog replies "I said I was going to round them up,"

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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