Musicians say if the world isn't round
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
A farmer said to me βI have 68 sheep. Can you help round them up for me?β
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
I called up Weight Watchers, told them there was an emergency and asked for them to send someone round!
Turns out theyβve got loads of them!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
Round of applause indeed
π︎ 47
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
Why didn't the pro golfer wear his golf shoes during the round? (Compliments of my stylist)
Because he's got a hole in one.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
What's round and bad-tempered?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
What's the name of a knight of the round table?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
Who invented the round table?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
Had a painter and decorator round this week. He's a furloughed airline pilot...
He made a lovely job of the landing!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
The fattest knight at King Arthurβs round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
π︎ 132
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
Took me many rounds to get this image
π︎ 140
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
Before we go to bed, my wife always recites the members of the round table..
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
What's white, round and giggles?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
I tried to convince one of my co workers to buy the first round of drinks after our shift...
He said no, but it was worth a shot.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
Which of King Arthur's knights crafted the Round Table?
Why, Sir Cumference of course!
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
Lesser known Knights of the Round Table
βI was the knight no one expected to see on the battlefield.β - Sir Prize
βI shall see you around.β - Sir Cumference
βWe shall fight on land or sea.β - Sir Fenturf
βI was the knight who was afraid to fight.β - Sir Render
βI was the unbelievable knight.β - Sir Real
βI was the knight that drank too much.β - Sir Rhosis
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
I called round at my neighbour's house early one morning and she opened the door in her nightie.
I thought, "That's a funny place for a door."
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.
I'm sure that must have been a record.
π︎ 455
π
︎ May 26 2020
My wife and I were stuck in traffic, and I said, βIβm turning roundβ.
She said, βStop eating so many burgers thenβ.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
Iβm a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....βlooks like you have the best jobβ he says, βwhy is that?β I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
π︎ 17
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
Just another joke making rounds in the Office
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
What's black and white and goes round and round ?
A penguin in a revolving door
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
Making my morning rounds in hospital when I ask a patient how his breakfast was. "The eggs and sausage were fine, but the Kentucky Jelly was awful," he replied. "What 'Kentucky Jelly'?" I ask.
Then he shows me the empty packet of KY Jelly had smeared all over his morning toast.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
You win this round cheese
π︎ 147
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
Apple just released their brand new round-shaped product
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
You spin me white round, baby, white round
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
I just called a landscape gardener round to give me a quote for some astroturf..
He said he couldn't do it because my garden is portrait.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 25 2020
The knights of the round table all had a unique set of skills
Do you think Sir Lancelot was good at jousting? Or just really liked it.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 16 2020
I told my wife I dreamt I was a merry-go-round.
She told me to stop running in circles.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 16 2020
A sheep dog says to the farmer, "I'm going to round up the sheep."
The dog comes back with 50 sheep. The farmers says, "we only have 48 sheep." The dog replies, "Yea, I told you I was going to round them up."
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Sep 10 2019
You know those big round bales of hay? they are illegal in Wyoming...
Yeah, It turns out that the animals weren't getting a square meal.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
Who was the hottest knight at the Round Table?
π︎ 23
π
︎ May 21 2020
Round and Round, Round and Round
π︎ 93
π
︎ Jan 21 2020
Just got back from the supermarket - there was a guy rushing round the shop who had brought 15kg of paella rice, 5 cases of tequila, 8 sombreros and 12 piΓ±atas.
I thought to myself, Hispanic buying.
π︎ 61
π
︎ Apr 04 2020
βͺWhat did the 25-cent coins do after a round of flipping?β¬
They retired to their separate quartersβ¬
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 25 2020
Iβve just done a pub quiz and lost points in the βGreek Mythologyβ round.
Itβs my Achilles Elbow.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 15 2020
A farmer asked his dad if he could round up his 36 sheep
βSure,β said the dad β40.β
π︎ 77
π
︎ Feb 17 2020
My missus is going round spreading rumours that I'm schizophrenic.
Well, three can play at that game.
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 16 2020
Why are you supposed to round to the nearest dollar on your tax returns?
Because the IRS has no cents.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 15 2020
Who was the spiciest Knight at the round table?
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 18 2020
The fattest knight at King Arthurβs round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
Which one of King Arthur's knights built the round table?
π︎ 28
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
The roundest knight at the round table
π︎ 91
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
Had a painter round. He said he was a laid off US Airline pilot ..
Made a great job of the landing ..
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
Just had a painter and decorator round, hes a furloughed Virgin Atlantic pilot.
He made a lovely job of the landing....
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
A sheepdog tells the farmer he's going to round up the sheep and comes back with 50 sheep and the farmer says "We only have 48 sheep."
The dog replies "I said I was going to round them up,"
π︎ 47
π
︎ Feb 25 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
