A salt rifle.
πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alamkh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
When the White Death loaded his rifle...

The Russians were Finnished

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrLazyTiger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked we to pay for his rifle test today. It was $30.

That was a cheap shot.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/signequanon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A salt rifle
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aayush_aryan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked, β€œIf someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”

I told her I think it’s worth a shot

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dnizzle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A Salt Rifle
πŸ‘︎ 837
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hungrylemonhaha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a joke about rifled barrels

but it was pretty boring.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ACE-Pham
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I met my partner after we both reached for the same rifle scope.

You know what they say, love at first sight.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call searching for snipers in Fortnite? Hunting Rifles.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkelTheMaster
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What rifle is used to kill rodents?

A Mauser

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SergeantPotatoes
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Don’t throw sodium chloride at people

That’s a salt

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Asalt rifle
πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/melhn
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A salt rifle.
πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kys_Bi_Bi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the opposite of a pepper rifle?

Assault rifle. (Credit to my wife)

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A Salt Rifle
πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eternalyeti
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
[Satire] A Salt Rifle
πŸ‘︎ 329
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wheatley67
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy that comes over and breaks the butt end off of grandad's old hunting rifle?

A stock broker

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PharmDiddy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My mate told me that putting superglue on my rifle was a bad idea, but I'm sticking to my guns
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eastwind45
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s a salt rifle.
πŸ‘︎ 451
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigWaveSmallOcean
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know what the most dangerous type of rifle is?

A salt rifle

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VincentGrabbe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s a salt rifle.
πŸ‘︎ 171
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunnyBlobby
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
🚨︎ report
How does a military fanatic season their food?

With a salt rifle and pepper spray.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jzerene
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A salt rifle
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IShadow1526
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
A salt rifle
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HiImJulio123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
salt
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sadqwer123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I read a story where the bad guy was trying to get rifles banned.

He was the anti-gunist.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A meth addict tried to shoot me with a sniper rifle.

He was a real crack shot!

πŸ‘︎ 167
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
🚨︎ report
A-salt rifle
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Liamkw2003
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t the bullet have a steady job

Because it keeps getting fired

πŸ‘︎ 175
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
r/unexpectedpuntitle
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenGamer7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Its not original but i dont know where its from
πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Holiday_Volume
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
this happened like ten minutes ago....
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lxelitexl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend couldn't remember where she hit herself with a rifle the other day.

I said "Going out on a limb here, but on your bruised leg."

She wasn't pleased.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Efeyester
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2017
🚨︎ report
What weapon do soldiers use in a kitchen?

A-salt-rifles

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jagzon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you want to hear a mean joke?

A physicist, an engineer and a statistician go on a hunting trip. They see a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance to the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, he fires but misses five feet to the left.

The engineer says he forgot to account for the wind, takes the rifle, aims and misses five feet to the right. The statistician claps and says "we got him!".

πŸ‘︎ 653
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LGriff13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
An apple a day keeps the doctor away

But in my experience, so does an air rifle

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StagyDais
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy signs up for the army and goes to get his equipment after he’s been processed.

When he gets to the place where he’s supposed to pick up his rifle the man tells him thatΒ he just ran out. β€œIf you need to shoot just say β€˜BANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!'” he says. Bummed out and little confused, the guy moves on to the next areaΒ where he’s supposed to pick up the bayonet. But the next man is out too. β€œIf you need to stab someone justΒ go, β€˜STICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!'” he says. Dejected and wondering what the heck he signed up for, the guy jumps into the next truck on its wayΒ to the front where there’s a battle raging on.

Side by side with the rest of the soldiers in his unit, the guy advances on the enemy position. As soon as he sees the enemy, he shouts, β€œBANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!!” Amazingly, the enemy soldierΒ drops to the ground. Encouraged by his success he charges the next two enemy soldiers and goes, β€œSTICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!” They both immediately collapse in front of him. This is incredible, he thinks, I’ve become unstoppable.

So when he sees his next foeΒ way off in the distance, he shouts,Β β€œBANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!” at him. He waits for him to fall, but nothing happens. The guy charges his unfazedΒ adversaryΒ nextΒ and goes β€œSTICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!” Again he thinks the man will fall and again nothingΒ happens. β€œWhy wont you drop?” the guy says. The enemy soldier knocks him down andΒ responds, β€œTANKITY TANK TANKITY TANK!”

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lavidius
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Took my mother-in-law out last night.

Loving my new sniper rifle.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sgambo93
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report
i'm laughing so hard

I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover the loss. Β  I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Black_Mutant
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What firearm is used to perfectly season food?

An As-salt rifle

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/codesnowman13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2016
🚨︎ report
How did we win against the war against slugs?

We used an A-SALT rifle

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt

A salt rifle

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mohd301
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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