Desperate patients resorting to DIY dentistry during lockdown

Brace yourself

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DLF6
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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Last resort on opposite day
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scorp1a
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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A new resort

I am thinking of establishing a holiday resort with gambling facilities.

It’ll be called Pair-A-Dice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GSL76
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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My girlfriend and I have been really stressed and having some issues so we decided to take a mini vacation, a weekend trip to a ski resort.

Everything started off well, but things went downhill really fast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ima420r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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Whenever I am in doubt, I resort to using my calculator.

I can always count on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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A guy came to apply for a job at my ski resort but suddenly walked off angrily...

All I said was "there's snow jobs available."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Ran out of toilet paper and had to resort to using old newspapers...

Gotta say... these are rough Times.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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A man burst into a ski resort in Vale, Colorado.

He shouted into the room, "Everywhere I go, there's a black bird that sticks to me. He sticks to my fleece jacket, my wool hat, even my velvet gloves!"

The concierge shakes his head and says, "Oh, that's just the Vale crow."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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I tried building a ski resort

It was a slippery slope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thunderfighter6
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/koukasen_np
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Attila the Hun had a pet snake who refused to eat.

He tried everything: rodents, small animals, and even cuts from larger animals, but it wouldn't eat.

As a last resort, he offered a virgin, but still the snake wouldn't eat. So, he called up the village's wise man.

Without hesitation, the wise man put two pieces of bread on the woman, and the snake ate her whole.

When Attila asked why, the wise man responded,

"Thine anaconda don't want nun unless you've got buns, hun!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_wild_redditer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Resort to violins
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegable
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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Did your hear about the professors that went to an island resort to discuss research paper titles?

It was a topical vacation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alecksface
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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We may soon resort to barbarianism and form clans and start clashing over toilet paper!

That's feud for thought!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Did you know that being an omelette chef at a ski resort is one of the most stressful jobs in the world?

Everyone has such high eggspectations

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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I'm sure it has been done, but chicken fried rice! Found at a resort tempenaki restaurant.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinosoares21
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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I decided to go on a vacation with my family. Almost all the hotel rooms were booked except one

It was our last resort...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DOU8LEJ480
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Last Sunday I ran a 5K at a clothing-optional resort.

When I told my coworker she asked how can men run naked without wearing any support.

Of course I said, it isn't hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReverendKen
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Last weekend, I went on vacation to a leather working-themed resort.

It was awl-inclusive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzzaeater14
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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Violence should be your second-to-last resort;

Your last resort should be assisting your victim in whatever they are doing.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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My wife said that our relationship is like a holiday.

No, wait, that’s not it. She said it was her last resort.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rugsby84
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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3 Clowns were stranded on an island and had to resort to cannibalism.

One said to the other, β€œthis taste funny.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWhiteBuffarro
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
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I met my wife at a travel agency

She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I went to the store.

I was shopping for clocks and rulers, but unfortunately they were sold out of both.

I have resorted to making my own.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Joe, please...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vegansaul
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2016
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So I signed up for an orienteering course in a Polish resort...

It was in a dense forest, and the instructor was waiting for me when I arrived. I pulled out my compass, but he laughed and shook his head. "That won't work here, you know," he said, pointing at my compass. "What do you mean?" I asked, "This is an orienteering course, isn't it?" "Ja, it is an orienteering course, but you can a compass not use." I was very puzzled at this point, and I questioned, "Why?" "There are too many Poles."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rockybond
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2017
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I refuse to let my kids join orchestra.

I would hate for them to resort to violins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilentEdge
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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So on a trip to a resort

My family was driving around looking for our hotel room. They have multiple buildings labeled with letters. We are in building L, but we're having a really hard time finding it. So my dad yells out the window, "Where the L is it?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmahoganyjimbles
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2014
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An idiot goes walking through the woods...

After a short time, he realizes he is hopelessly lost. He gets hungry, but with no knowledge of a way to gain food, he decides to resort to cannablism. He begins to eat his arm, but soon finds he is satisfied and no longer hungry. This idiot in the woods was full of himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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I used to own 3 ski lodges, one in the Alps, one in Aspen and one in France. When I got divorced the first 2 times, my exes each got a lodge as part of the settlement. The third marriage, I decided I needed a prenuptial agreement to cover my assets. It was all I could do!

It's my last resort!

Edit: changed "it was" to "it's"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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When I grow up, I want to be the world’s largest supplier of neodymium.

That way, I can be a magnet magnate.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.

It was out last resort.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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We had an IDEA...

Back a few decades, I was working in a program with a local college in the Middle East.

The name of the program for ExPats has the clever acronym of "IDEA" (hey, I said it was clever); which stands for "Inter-Departmental Educational Adjunct". It's interdepartmental because my particular specialty not only covers field geology but also paleontology and a bit of archeology thrown in for good measure. Everyone hopes to have a good IDEA...

ahem...

Well, we saddle up and head for the Dune Sea out in the west of the country, where the Precambrian, Cambrian, Silurian, Cretaceous, Pliocene, Pleistocene, and Holocene crop out and access is relatively easy and non-injurious.

Well, we caravan out, some 30 Land Cruisers, Nissan patrol, and the odd Mitsubishi Galloper strong. We all get our maps, compasses and split up into 5 or 6 special interest groups ("SIG's"); where each IDEA has his own GPS and LIDAR laser ranging apparatus. Reason being, that there are very few benchmarks out in the desert, and even those are constantly at the mercy of the shifting and ever-blowing sands.

Since we're split into groups and at any one time, ranging up to and including some 50 km2, when a real find is located, a device called the "DIME" (Digital-Interface Monitor Encoder) is attached and programmed into the GPS for location later; it is a digital sort of low-frequency transponder, developed from technology used by offshore drillers and jacket setters where benchmarks are even more transitory.

The way it works is rather simple. When something is to be marked for later retrieval, a series of wooden posts are pounded in a triangular manner around the find and the DIME is set, programmed with the GPS and attached to one or more of the posts.

That's the theory, at least.

Everything works well, especially all the hardened electronics and computer gizmos, but attaching the DIME to the stakes is the real problem. It can't be nailed, screwed or fastened with any sort of metal contrivance as that farkles the magnetic field and causes all sorts of goofy spurious signals. Zip ties don't last long in the heat and duct tape is right out. Many sites have been lost to the shifting sands this way.

Velcro doesn't work too well, as the sand fills the hooks of the receiving piece of velcro and soon renders it useless. String or fishing line work, but that's temporary (they melt). Glue or mastic are out as these are supposed to be temporary. Even plastic sleeves don't work due to the heat out

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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I hear Cancun is getting to be a really dangerous because of drug cartels.

I guess you could say they're resorting to violence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/murishani047
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
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I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away

They always resort to straw man arguments

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πŸ‘€︎ u/36chambersoffun
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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As I entered the room and noticed the lack of services, I thought to myself, "I'll never stay in a hotel anymore."

This is my last resort.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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Pappa

Once they have finished mating, the mother roach tries to find a safe place to lay her eggs while the pappa roach tries to support his new family by starting an alt/rock band.

This wasn't his first career choice, but it is his last resort.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSmitty0754
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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What's your favorite B movie?

For me, it's this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeechipmunk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2016
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I was on holiday in Poland...

...with a fellow Dad last weekend when we walked past what looked very much like a strip club. He was a little surprised to find such an establishment in the rather staid seaside resort we were staying in, so I explained that we were in a country with a long and respectable tradition of Pole dancing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PonyMamacrane
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2015
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Practicing

We were at The Contemporary resort in Disney World waiting to be called for our breakfast reservation, when my wife points out this scale model of a Disney cruise ship. We walk up to it and I say "wow, would you look at that! It's a lot smaller than I thought it would be, though..."

My wife rolled her eyes. Our first is due in April.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RxBro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2017
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Why is there music coming from that rock?

Out with my daughter at a resort, we heard music coming from a speaker shaped to look like a rock. She asked me why they had music coming from a rock. I told her the truth: it's rock music.

"Dad," she replied, "you're funny."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dedtired
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2015
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