Reptile pun for you lot
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrimsonCario
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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What do you call a reptile who makes financially wise decisions?

An INVESTigator!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bronzeaardvark
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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How can you tell how much a reptile weighs?

You look at the scales

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDaddyB207
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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What do you call a reptile with a map?

A navi-gator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diny_Tick1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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Never get into a conversation with a flying reptile

Their conversations always dragon for way too long

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pusilli
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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What do you call a reptile who enjoys snapping picture of food and sunsets?

An insta-gator

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/respect-thebeard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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What do you call a rap battle between two lizards? A reptile diss function
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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What do you call an accusatory reptile?

An allegator

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plumsby
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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What do you call a large reptile that solves crimes?

An investi-gator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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What do you call a joke-telling hard-to-see reptile?

A stand-up chameleon!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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What do you call a reptile phoning a friend?

A crocodial

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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What do you call a reptile who betrayed you?

A trai-tor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/belgianfried
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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I worked out yesterday, and today I hurt as much as a large prehistoric reptile.

I'm dino-sore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanski14
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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What do you call a homosexual reptile?

Alligaytor

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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What is reptile dysfunction?

When your snake stops working.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heilschwein
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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What do you call it when a reptile cannot work his email?

E-reptile Dysfunction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/T-Angeles
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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News: β€˜Boy George’s reptile bites 5 people in one day.’

He needs a calmer chameleon

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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So I guess you could say Florida has a reptile disruption. usatoday.com/story/news/n…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jraharris89
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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Back in medieval times, they used to make computer mice out of the poop of giant flame breathing reptiles...

...surely you've heard of the "dragon drop" interface.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpartanMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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Which reptile specializes in crime solving?

An investigator

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AchillesPgr5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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One day my daughter and I were on a walk together and were surprised to see a shelled reptile a little ways down the road. Guess which direction it was heading?

Tortoise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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What do you call a large reptile that likes to start fights? An instigator.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardwithablog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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What kind of reptile to math teachers keep as pets?

Pi-thons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/someone425
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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The local reptile show had to delay on account of misbehaving lizards.

They had a severe case of a reptile dysfunction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drjohnson89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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What do you call a mathematical reptile?

A calculator

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuspicionCabbage
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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What do you get if you cross a mammal with a reptile?

Most probably sued by the Humane Society.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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What do you call it when a scary reptile robs a drink shop?

A gator raid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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What do you call a funny reptile?

A stand up chameleon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/85mayne
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2017
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I have a reptile named fib

He's a lie-zard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ploo_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
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What reptile spends the most time in the bathroom?

A Commode-o dragon.

Crosspost from r/jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshandthewolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
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What do you call a reptile that is good at math?

A Calcugator

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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What do you call a financially savvy reptile?

An invest-o-gator

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
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Reptile disfunction
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GasStationBacon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
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What do you get when you cross an LCD screen and a reptile?

A monitor lizard

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iamnotnick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2017
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What do you call a reptile that ruins household appliances?

A crack-a-dial.

EDIT: The real joke is how much time and effort was spent thinking this joke up

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tasty_Anthrax
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2017
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I found a small reptile in my ear.

I think it's an irrigator.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditurded
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2016
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What do you call a reptile that asks a lot of questions?

An interrogator

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d4hm3r
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2016
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Geriatric Irish reptile toilet?

Commode O'dragon.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra-saurus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2014
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Someone told me as a kid that huge reptiles reside in the sewers...

What a croc of shit that turned out to be.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikaosol
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2015
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What do you call a reptile molting?

Snaked

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jasondazombie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2015
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When talking about people who like to start fights I asked my friend what the fastest reptile was

The instagator

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2015
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I heard Boy George’s reptile bites 5 people in one day.

He needs a calmer chameleon.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
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What do you call a homosexual reptile ?

A GAAAAAAATOR !

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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What do you do when you call a large reptile?

You Crocodial!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RevolutionaryMale
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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