Police were questioning an egg

He couldn’t say anything, he was scrambling for words.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
We once were questioning a perp who wouldn't say anything without his coarse file with cutting points instead of lines. After getting it, he immediately confessed...

He talked with a rasp.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
They took my 4’6” friend in for questioning the other day

I have to admit, he was a little suspect.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fat-bandit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
They took the piece of Swiss cheese down to the station for questioning...

His alibi seemed to check out, but his story was full of holes.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcdonlorama
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2017
🚨︎ report
Which system of government had the biggest problem of people always questioning their grandmothers?

The Weimar Republic

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/diego_godean
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
🚨︎ report
I mustache you a question...

...?

Can you shave it for later?

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavidHill76
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Important questions being asked
πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad had a burning question about grammar and I didn't know the answer so I came here to ask it.

His question was, "Is 'buttcheeks' one word?"

"Or should I spread them apart?"

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tis-a-pirate
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a serious question...

So imagine you are transexual but suddenly one day you decide to stop being it. Then you are Trans former?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blaset
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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I am, without question..

A terrible journalist.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I was once offered the chance to join a secret club, where anyone who asks a question is permanently banned.

I said, "Sure, why not?"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I moustache you a question

Never mind I'll shave it for later...

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnkleSam03
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a genuine question

Jen, you in the living room?

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobby_vance
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
??
πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. β€œHow much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. β€œNothing” I slurred. β€œLook at me!” she shouted. β€œIt’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”

I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, β€œIt’s you. I can tell by the voice.”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.

Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
USPS Questions

Should tortillas be sent flat rate? Is armor headgear sent over knight? Is an addicts mail tracked? Is mail to Gold's gym sent bulk rate? Should mail to a school's kindergarten be sent 1st class? Should the IRS send return receipts? just wondering...

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bolt470
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...

Is this a trick question?

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a radius and a diameter?

A radius.

πŸ‘︎ 776
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πŸ‘€︎ u/angrysandclock
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Question

Why is today not National ballerina day?

I mean it is 2-2 after all

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taterheadx2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I have one question for victims of ninjas...

..Who hurt you?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Question: What are doldrums?

Answer: Barbie's bongos.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, β€œIs it to scale?” I replied, β€œNo…”

β€œIt’s to look at.”

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Jean-Pierre’s dream of meeting an Extra-Terrestrial finally came true. His first question for the alien was...

You must be from Mars, eh?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/granquist04
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
A simple question from my 6 year old son.

A meteorite is a small meteor, right?

Full credit to my son, he will truly make a great dad some day.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/melanthius
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Obi Wan say to Luke when he was dating morally questionable women?

Your thots will betray you.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelc84
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Dad joke

What do you see when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?

U.C.L.A...

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheChestar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Dentists always ask dumb questions like β€œwhen’s the last time you flossed?”

Like bro you were there!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sandyatk445
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Son: "Dad, what are condoms used for ?"

Dad: "To avoid such questions."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Wife (serious question): What is the difference between a date and a prune?

Me: one you get lucky and the other you don't.

She was mad enough to leave the room...

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moar-coffee-plz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't question the context.
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodTastingDad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been trying to solve a complicated maths question to take my mind off my constipation. Today, using only a pencil and sheer determination...

I finally worked it out.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My son was about to ask me 1 million questions about everything.

I said " Chucky Cheese"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Which question can come to first, but never last?

First question.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kittyreaper88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a dad joke with rhetorical question?

Hmm.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yet-another-dad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
The guy I suspect is a cannibal in the office always brings in something questionable.

Today was white chick in chili.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TitFartFerguson
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months.

The woman asked the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're both fine. And, you're brother named them for you.

Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise.

Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?

Doctor: deeply sighs Denephew.

πŸ‘︎ 25k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Axolotl questions
πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/averyhungryperson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The most important question before choosing your future wife ...

Which is witch ?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What has questionable principles and flies?

Mike pence during tonight’s debate.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Dr: We had to remove your colon

Me Why?

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blindingdoor554
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Can I axe you a question?

Never mind you’d chop at it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joe_mama_89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
If a bronco is bucking, then what is a fronco?

Trick question β€” there's no such thing as a fronco.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/over-lord
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Guys, I have a question. Me and a friend are arguing about the setting of the Ace Attorney games.

He keeps telling me its LA, but its gotta be Phoenix, right?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilverStoneX1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water.

I was like well damn.

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Branith
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
With the global warming raising the sea level, it is only a question of time for England to become Engsea.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matthieunc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Potential storage loft for salaried athletes’ prosthetics is in question:

...could be pro-limb-attic!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What has four letters?

That’s all. I was just letting you know.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metapede
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, β€œDad, what are condoms used for?”

I said, β€œUsually to avoid answering questions like this one.”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad, can I ask you a question?

You just did.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bp1108
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad, can I ask you a question?

You just did.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bp1108
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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