I tried donating blood today... NEVER AGAIN!!! Too many questions.
Like, "Who's blood is this?", "How did you get it?"
"Why is it in a bucket?"
I have been asking everyone what LGBTQ is?
So far no one has given me a straight answer.
Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water.
Scientist have actually discovered a feline-like life-form on Mars! But unfortunately, one of their rovers ran over it, and
Curiosity killed the cat :(
Such a pointless conversation.
Many ways up the mountain. Question is, which one?
How do you cut the ocean in half?
So I just saw Disney’s Luca and I have two questions:
Does he live on the second floor?
Does he think he’s seen me before?
Delighted to say I've finally got a new job installing mirrors!
Nothing fancy, but was something I could always see myself doing.
I mustache you a question...
Me: hey babe, I mustache you a question
Hubby: ok but just so you know, eyebrows google. And if you ask me too many questions, eyelash out.
Me: lol post that on r/dadjokes
Hubby: I mean I would, but I feel like everybody already nose
🤣🤣🤣🤣
My computer asked me a Question.
My Pc asked me if it would ever be like a PlayStation or Xbox.
I told him no.
he's Inconsoleable.
Celine Dion is offering me financial advice. But she just keeps asking one question:
"How do I get you a loan?"
Scientists frequently say to question everything.
How do you get to the cemetery?
It's just around the coroner!
Question:
Did I already post my amnesia joke?
What question can you never answer with a “yes”?
Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same thing?
Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too.
Tequila might not be the answer
What’s big, grey, and asks a lot of questions?
A formerly blind man finishes his last round of eye surgery to gain his sight. The doctor asks if he has any last questions.
Patient: no, I think I'll see my self out.
Don’t you just hate people that answer their own question?
What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?
... why are you ignoring me?
Why are mathematicians never constipated?
They can always work it out with a pencil.
My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?
Because they don't have pockets.
I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions.
I went to a job interview today and the interviewer asked me "what is your greatest weakness?". I said "I am too honest"
He said "I don't think that's a weakness"
"Well I don't give a f* what you think"
My first Dad joke
At the last ultrasound appointment they asked me if i had any questions
"What's your return policy?"
My 8 year old nephew attended his first wedding. But his cousin had a question for his after the ceremony.
"Hey, how many women can a guy marry?"
"16!"
"How did you figure that out."
"Simple. I just listen to the minister and added them up: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer. That's 16!
I bought an inexpensive hearing aid.
My friend asked “What kind is it?”
I replied “4:30”
Why do poultry birds always smell so bad?
Because of their fowl odour.
Dad, can brown-eyed parents give their kids blue genes?
Me: Why of course, son - and sometimes even khakis or chinos if the parents are more stylish.
[Made up by me on the spot in response to my son's question about their biology unit in science class].
I spent a lot of time, money and effort child-proofing my house.
But the kids still get in.
I asked my kids if they could come up with a word that had 3 letters of the alphabet in a row?
I was lecturing on the criminal law concept of hot pursuit, and I asked there were any questions.
A student asked "what if you're ugly?'
As an old dad, I was befuddled for a moment before asking "did you just tell a dad joke?" She grinned, and I commissioned her as a dad on the spot.
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years, “Will you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?” She smiled and answered...
I mustache you a question...
...?
Can you shave it for later?
Why did the cyber-attacker quit his job?
Important questions being asked
I have a serious question...
So imagine you are transexual but suddenly one day you decide to stop being it. Then you are Trans former?
[META] Could we get some moderation in this sub?
In my eyes, this sub has a serious problem with non-dadjoke posts. Sub-reddit rule #1 is "Jokes must be dad jokes.". What good are the rules if they aren't enforced? I do realize that what constitutes a dadjoke might not be clarely defined, but we get a lot of posts that are marked nsfw. That's a "This is not a dadjoke"-flag. Why not start with removing nsfw posts?
PS: Why do we have rule #6? It is not possible for a dadjoke to be nsfw, so it should never be relevant.
The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"
"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"
"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.
"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"
I was once offered the chance to join a secret club, where anyone who asks a question is permanently banned.
My dad had a burning question about grammar and I didn't know the answer so I came here to ask it.
His question was, "Is 'buttcheeks' one word?"
"Or should I spread them apart?"
Shout out to all those who wonder
what’s the opposite of in.
Question
Did I already post my amnesia joke?
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