A proton went before a judge...

... for impersonating a hydrogen atom. The verdict was "guilty as charged".

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/quietconsigliere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Neutron to electron: i think im decaying into a proton

Electron: are you sure?

Neutron: im nearly positive

Electron: ive never been so attracted to you

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ponylover9628
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A proton is arrested

Proton: What's the charge

Lawyer:Positive

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nibba_man69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the proton go to court?

Because it was charged with a crime

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kiereeelll29
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
If protons and neutrons had sexual life, what would their most common saying be?

Spark me daddy

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kajinator
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A proton and neutron break up...

An electron walks up to the proton and says, β€œHey! Stay positive!”

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Munk-the-Man
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
How come protons are so attractive?

They stay positive no matter what..

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bondeddd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do positively charged particles have in common with professional sumo wrestling teams?

They're both protons.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fecalfettucine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
The proton says to the electron,

" Why so negative bro?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EvadNamNav
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the electron say to his protons and neutrons that had slept in?

"Up and atom!"

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeyIsUber
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2012
🚨︎ report
A proton walks into a hotel...

A proton walks into a hotel and the bellhop asked if he had any luggage. The proton relied, β€œNo, I’m traveling light. β€œ

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jonathanbeaumont0
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What did one hydrogen atom say to the other when it picked up another proton?

"You're out of your element!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CollegeRuled
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2017
🚨︎ report
How do protons and neutrons stick together so well in the nucleus?

They've got to have some damn strong gluon them.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rzezzy1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you know that protons have mass?

They're Catholic, you see.

(Full disclosure: I didn't come up with this one myself. I'm not dadly enough for that.)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xwatchmanx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Two electrons

Two electrons are talking to each other

The first one points to a proton and says "Do you want that charge?"

The second one points to an antiproton and says "No, discharge"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anti-charizard
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The worlds shortest joke.

Two women were sitting quietly.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Blind man walks into a pub
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/l_osservatore
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2018
🚨︎ report
My mom told my dad to come say something positive to me

I just had lost a tennis match and my dad promptly walks over, and looks me in the eyes and says "Protons." Then he walked away...

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bzimmy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2015
🚨︎ report
Earlier in science class...

Teacher:Ok class, today we will be learning about protons.

Class:...

Teacher: I know this seems boring, but learn to be like a proton and stay positive!

Class: cringe

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDestroyer575
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2017
🚨︎ report
I can't find any evidence of this pun after some searches...(OC?)

Me- I meet an interesting person the other day

Her- Oh, ok?

Me- Turns out he runs a school

Her- Not too interesting so far...

Me- Yeah, but it's a school for protons, neutrons and electrons

Her- umm, sorry, what?

Me- Yeah, but it's the Principal of the matter, you see?

eyeroll intensifies

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/somethingwickednc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2015
🚨︎ report
So I was telling my dad about the new TRON movie...

And he says: "New TRON? As opposed to the pro TRON?" ^(neutron / proton )

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NortySpock
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2013
🚨︎ report
Good Morning dadjoke

My dad used to wake me up by standing beside my bed and repeatedly saying, "Up and atom (at 'em). Up and proton. Up and electron. Up and molecule." Now he still does it when I'm home from college, and as I get harder to rouse, more subatomic particles.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AirAdmiral
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2014
🚨︎ report
Chem professor dropped this on our lecture...

See how the basic unit is a photon? It has the same '-on' ending as other basic units - like electron, neutron, proton. Now what's the basic unit of sociology?

...

...

...

A pers-on.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/486217935
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you know that protons had mass?

I didn't even know they were catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperMegaPepega
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stayphreshdnb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that protons have mass?

I had no clue they were Catholic!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/huhmanrawx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SideOfInsanity
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My teacher told me protons have mass.

I didn't know protons were Catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alwaysshitting
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
"Did you know protons have mass?"

"No, I didn't even know they were Catholic!"

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HaHaHarls
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2014
🚨︎ report
I can't find any evidence of this pun after some searches... (OC?)

Me- I meet an interesting person the other day

Her- Oh, ok?

Me- Turns out he runs a school

Her- Not too interesting so far...

Me- But it's a school for protons, neutrons and electrons

Her- umm, sorry, what?

Me- Yeah, but it's the Principal of the matter, you see?

eyeroll intensifies

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/somethingwickednc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.