Why did the farmer mistakenly work extra hard to keep barley and wheat away from his prized ox?

The vet had recently diagnosed him with silly yak disease.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/das_bic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
When my grandpa died, he passed down his prized English toilet to my son...

He is the heir to the throne.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A young man steals his neighbors prized steer on a dare but is caught and is arrested by the police.

He is taken to the police station and handcuffed to a table and left alone. A while later his father arrives at the station and sits down across from him and says,
β€œCow could you?”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrAvatar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy from The Beatles that got a divorce but couldn't throw out one prized possession?

No matter what, he wouldn't let his Ringo

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".

I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.

The physical pain on his face was priceless.

πŸ‘︎ 157
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Megaman_90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?

He was out standing in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TrayLaTrash
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?

A trophy.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TerroristOgre
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about this year’s Nobel prize nominees?

It included the inventor of β€œSilent Mode”.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElZoof
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most coveted architectural prize awarded to churches with no steeple?

The no-bell prize.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
When my Dad gets drunk, he always tells stories about his prize chickens.

He sure loves his cock-tales.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The creator of the knock knock joke should get a Nobel prize.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting a

Flying Saucer

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stent_kush
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Who ever invented Knock-Knock jokes should get a Nobel Prize
πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/owen_mkn6244
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A Scotsman visits his doctor. He pulls his kilt up and says doctor you have to help me I'm going crazy

The doctor says I can clearly see your nuts

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrjaxson1111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
/r/puns best of 2020 nomination thread!

Welcome to /r/puns bestof 2020 nomination thread! A chance to win reddit premium.

Comment below the links of posts/comments that were exceptional.

  • Post/comment must have been made in the year 2020.

  • Anybody can nominate.

  • One person can nominate maximum of 1 post or comment.

Prizes:

1 month reddit premium (no ads on your feed) and access to the reddit lounge to the exceptional post/comment.

Note: The person who nominates will also get award if the post they nominate is good. (Very likely you will get it :)

All the best!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shampoo_and_dick
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Shoutout to the individual who invented orthotics!

If it were up to me, you’d be a shoo-in for the Nobel Peace Prize.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seisocho
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the corn farmer win the Nobel Peace Prize?

For his dedication to world hominy

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatjamoco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
There should be a Pulitzer prize for headlines
πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/______---------
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke

Should get a 'No-bel' prize

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moiKeshav
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What prize did the bodybuilder win when the lockdown was lifted

Atrophy

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gambit454
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Honestly I would love this as a prize
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the prize the baker won for winning the bread contest?

A Dough-gree

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ursppachulli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Whoever invented knock knock jokes

Should get a no bell prize

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ISe7eNI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the cleverest Disney character?

Gaston; he's the winner of the No-Belle Prize

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ktwin54
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL The 2019 chemistry Nobel laureate was deemed good enough for a nobel prize
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kyle0060
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Which professor was good enough to win the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 2019?
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/isaacides
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to illegally give weed to my prize winning cows, but unfortunately I had to stop.

The steaks were too high

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eltothebee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
If being cool was an act of terrorism then I'd be winning the Nobel Peace prize
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crispybacon62
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
he got a nobyl prize

found out my friend was extremely radioactive

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mxrtinezz1322
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a Noble Prize?

He was (out)standing in his field

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Scarecrow get a Nobel Prize

Because he was Out-Standing in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?

A trophy.

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?

A trophy

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Famousspy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the corn farmer win a Nobel Peace Prize?

Because of his dedication to world hominy.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatjamoco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy that invented the knock knock joke?

He just won the NOBELL prize

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vamplestat666
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize?

He was outstanding in his field

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerGirlUrine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The creator of the knock knock joke should get a Nobel prize.
πŸ‘︎ 232
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Whoever invented "Knock knock" jokes...

should get a no-bell prize.

πŸ‘︎ 131
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Can anyone inform me on who invented knock knock jokes ?

They deserve a no bell prize

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darkalan64
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The person that invented Knock Knock Jokes

Should get a no bell prize.

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The inventor of knock knock jokes won a prize

It was a nobel prize

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/janhetjoch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
You don’t have to be great to win a Nobel Prize.

You just have to be Goodenough!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rajuvrma
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?

He won the nobell prize

πŸ‘︎ 153
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trexinator1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a Nobel prize?

They said he was outstanding in his field

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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