Quill Onkko Primary, Digital, 1160x1560. my interpretation of what onkko looks like behind the mask
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πŸ‘€︎ u/9mmPerSecond
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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Pretty sure Quill Onkko Primary is mad at me for bringing a robot into his house
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IceFire909
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 449

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Welp, I've truly stepped on the cat-girl's tail, Admiral Shtuklar thought to himself, staring at the holotank. He gave himself a physical shudder, shaking his head, then stood straight for a moment, looking over the protocontinent.

He turned to a second holotank and waved his hand through it, dismissing the estimations of post-battle casualties for the civilian populace. It was currently glitching due to SFC Casey hammering apart a large piece of the protocontinent so it next to useless.

He quickly put up his entire ground-side TO&E. First Lanaktallan Armor, First Telkan Marine Division, First Armored Recon, 1095 Treana'ad Ground Warfare Horde, and a good amount of other units. He quickly tabbed up a unit and designated it "First Planetary Powered Armor Assault" and moved Casey from First Telkan Senior NCO to that unit.

Being honest with himself as he worked, he admitted he had screwed up. The fact that 7th Army had been wiped out had shaken him and he had made a midshipman's mistake by just reacting and throwing everything he had at the enemy in the hopes of stopping them.

He closed his eyes for a second and remembered the time the bridge had taken a hit and the entire responsibility for a super-carrier had fallen on him as a LT JG in the middle of a heavy battle. He had reacted then too, and while his decisions had been lauded, he had always looked back on that and wondered if he could have made better decisions and saved more lives.

He brought up the RoE from several past battles involving 7th Army and stopped at the RoE for the Second Telkan War AKA Telkan Dwellerspawn War.

"RoE Update," he called out. "Transmit to all units but First Planetary Assault," he snapped. He turned and looked at the planet itself, thinking fast.

Scans were worthless so far, only showing blurring movement of a large amount of something, but other than that, nothing. He looked up the maximum range of a weapon and began working.

"Fab up Second Mantid War phasic munitions and have the guns loaded," he tapped out different areas, keeping away from the civilian centers and trying to ensure Lanaktallan and neo-sapient troops would only catch the edges. Telkan troops had high resistance to

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralts_Bloodthorne
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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[Humanity Fucks You] #22: Short Children's Stories from Across the Unity, Revision 4, Story Book USB-66572231-R4-T1

Hello HFY, here's the next in my series of what happens when humanity's special Gift in the stars is to have children with whoever they damn well please. As with the prior 21, I welcome constructive criticism.

I didn't want to shove the meaning of any story(ies) that are presented in this story down your throat, so I'm going to put the meaning of the story(ies) in a comment for those who want to know the original intent.

As always, all you humans and mixed breeds: Keep those comments exciting!

Author Wiki | Series Wiki | World Anvil

First | Previous | Next

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Post Writing Author's Note

Sorry for the long wait everyone. The world of being a GM, writer's block and just life in general got in the way once more. I hope this episode is worth it to you all.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you okay?" Asked Xii as she pulled Cass into her lap. Whatisthatnoise? Is it footsteps? Gunshots?"

Cass's sweaty body remained still and silent as Xii pulled her into a sitting position. WhereamI? Why do I feel cold? Why the hell am I naked? NOT AGAIN! Xii shook Cass as she started to squirm and wince slightly.

Xii shook Cass as she said "Wake up. Wake up! Cass, wake ooooofffff"

Cass withdrew her fist from Xii's stomach and rolled off of her bed, slamming into the floor with an "OUCH!" Why am I on the floor?

Xii leaned over the edge of Cass's bed, watching Cass sit up with confusion practically written on her face. With slow, cautious movements, Xii pulled Cass back onto the bed and into her lap.

"Everything okay, Cass?" Xii asked. Why do you look that concerned?

Laying her head between Xii's neck and should, Cass replied "Just had a nightmare."

"Must've been a bad one."

Cass buried her face into Xii's neck. "How could you tell?"

"You got me with a nasty hook to the gut when I tried to wake you up."

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unseenshadow2
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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[Excerpt: Knights of Macragge] Given the choice of keeping the human crew alive or remaining combat-viable, Sicarius chooses the crew.

Lore context: Sicarius was formerly the Second Captain in the Ultramarines Chapter. He has had a interesting career. 'Currently', he is commander of the Victrix Guard

Meta context: people have asked 'what happened to him in the interim'

Meta context 2: people occasionally ask questions like 'what is of greater value? keeping base-line humans alive? or keeping Marines ready for everything'. etc

> β€˜We have a serious problem.’

> β€˜From all accounts,’ answered Sicarius, β€˜we have more than just one.’ His cold, blue gaze took in the rest of the room and the audience he had summoned to his quarters. He had long abandoned the notion of having a private space, though there were times that he missed the luxury of isolation and the clarity of thought that came with it. Ever since the ship had been adrift, power had been failing and several decks had to be shut down and sealed as vital life support systems could no longer be sustained to an acceptable level of efficacy. It meant some of the briefing chambers had been repurposed as barracks, or living spaces for the non-combatant members of the crew. In turn, this had meant sacrificing privacy for pragmatism. A tacticarium hololith table had been moved in and most of the furnishings, including the slab cot where Sicarius had occasionally slept, moved out to make space for briefings and reports.

> Even so, it was still crowded in the captain’s quarters.

> β€˜Our failing power reserves are of significant concern,’ said Haephestus, taking the opportunity to voice his findings first. The Techmarine was a towering presence, only surpassed by the indomitable figure of Argo Helicos who stood next to him.

> [---] > β€˜I’ve received reports of power failures in the aft decks, eight through twelve, and am considering moving the crew in those sections to more stable areas,’ offered a thin-looking woman wearing an amalgam of Militarum fatigues and Munitorum robes. Olvo Sharna blinked nervously at the captain behind a pair of wireframe glasses, a bleached bone servo-skull scribing every word to parchment with a neuro-quill. The reams of vellum gathered in a hefty stack beneath the floating machine, its tiny anti-gravitic impellers stirring the papery edges. β€˜And there is also the question of sustenance.’ Sicarius held her gaze for a moment.

> β€˜Food, captain,’ she said.

> β€˜I know what sustenance means, quartermaster,’ he said patiently. β€˜Would you care to provide a little more detail about the crisis?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cross_Ange
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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Random ideas I had for projects that I think could be cool to see in the MCU (Part Two)

Note: A good chunk of these are probably not going to happen and in some cases, probably shouldn't happen. But as a writer, I just simply wanted to have fun with this. Obviously, I don't expect any of these to happen nor do I think they should happen.

Then again, they're making a damn Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special and a Groot animated show. Anything's possible at this point.

Also, sorry, this is a long one so tl;dr in the comments.

1. Bucky Barnes: The Winter Soldier (Disney+):

Bucky has now completed his journal and has provided closure with those hurt by his actions as the Soldier. However, he's still left with the question of where does he go now? There's also the fact that his trauma still hasn't been fully resolved.

He's forced to return to the line of duty when called in by someone like Contessa to retrieve some sort of MacGuffin stolen by AIM. The MacGuffin in this case can be the Mad-Bomb, a device that when activated, turns everyone in its radius into rage zombies (which would fit a story where the lead is a dude who's mind was stolen from him and was turned into a murder machine).

This, however, ends up putting him in conflict with the Winter Guard, Russia's equivalent to the Avengers who's after the same thing. I also want Yelena to appear in a prominent role in the show, either as an ally of Bucky or a part of the Guard. Either way would work and would be a good chance to see a version of the Bucky/Widow dynamic. They can have a history with Bucky being someone who helped train Yelena when he was still the Soldier.

The story would focus on the themes of mental health and how much of one's identity do you give up to something, whether it be your government, your nation, or a cause. Most of the characters in this show should be puppets to someone else and Bucky is a puppet trying to keep his strings cut. He doesn't want to be pulled back into becoming someone's plaything again.

Bucky's arc would revolve around his dynamic with his past and each phase he's been in, meaning we'd get to see flashbacks to each different aspect of his life. The kid from Brooklyn, the Howling Commando, the Winter Soldier, the fugitive in Bucharest, the White Wolf, etc. Each episode can also have flashbacks to these different points in time.

The end result would be him realizing that all of these aspects are a part of who he is and he can't ignore any of them. But he shouldn't define himself based on

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbekel3618
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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This st or that st?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supdawggg00
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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Divinity - Arc 5 - Chapter 8: Open Eyes

Previous | Next | Chapter List | WordPress | RoyalRoad

##########

I remember the beginning. I remember kneeling. I remember pain. I was…remade.

##################

ARC 5 - PARACLETE

CHAPTER 8 - OPEN EYES

##################

Lukewarm water had never brought such relief. Raegn dunked his head below the surface and let the world fade away. The silence was serene. It took away all distraction. No sweat-slicked hair stuck to his forehead, no itch of salt-dried skin, no seething words of hatred that everyone in the city seemed to carry. Being given the space for his own thoughts, however, brought little enjoyment.

Raegn’s face tightened as he remembered the slain rebel. Had the man only been guilty of fighting for those with affinity who refused to reveal themselves? Was standing against an oppressive ruler worthy of the hate he’d been shown? A part of him believed the Justicar should find offense in the spectacle of an execution the Emperor used to sow seeds of influence into his people. A rash reveal and declaration of persecution was the stuff of child’s tales, though. The Order had permitted Shaktika its practices for years now. The true goal lay in Victoria’s marriage and bringing the Shaktikan army to fight the Void when the Realm called. Squashing the rebellion so all effort could be put into a singular focus would be the most efficient way. If a people had to suffer for a few more years, was that not better than risking extinction?

Raegn forced the speculation away as he broke the surface and gasped for air. Those sort of things weren’t for him to decide. It was Highlord Orgeron’s responsibility to bring the Realm to heel when the time came. He was merely an arm of the Order, operating within set limits. So long as the Highlord permitted him to fight when the darkness showed itself, he would be satisfied. Dealing with politics and policing the common man were not what drove him to succeed in a two-season trial.

He dried and dressed quickly before any sweat could reappear and soil a new set of underclothes. Edolie had been kind enough to handle their laundry, more a deed than Raegn had initially thought given he changed two or three times a day. His things gathered, he made his way out of

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lightenant
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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Faction Concept: The Collective

Faction Name: The Collective

Allegiance: IMC/Neutral/Ares - While fighting primarily on behalf of IMC on account of being Ares property, it is prone to outburst. As well as it cares very little for those who do not ally with it, but, due to abuse at the hands of RnD to force evolution, those who do willingly without assimilation, it is very protective/possessive of, to bad it really only pertains to people of interest, pilots, and other hive minds.

Leader: Speaker for "The One" - A randomly chosen pilot type, covered in purple flesh-like growths, with green eye-like slits at the head/front of the body, and a strange VERY deep red almost black tar-like "blood" oozing from the optical slits, and bases of the luminescent orange quills upon it's back/forearms. This pilot is the primary speaker/agent of the space ameba, turned planetary hivemind going by the name of "The Collective". The Collective is a Space ameba that normally grows through the consumption of light, and the assimilation of technology/large celestial bodies/lifeforms. However upon it being separated from the primary growth in space (at the time roughly the size of a small asteroid) by the IMC Ares RnD dep. it has been forced to evolve to primarily rely on electric power for life, with a heavy focus on assimilation for growth. Assimilation of pilots however is energy tasking, therefore allowing them to have control of themselves, and instead using them as agents to create corpses to assimilate has yielded better results. So not being able to telepathically communicate with un assimilated allies, a speaker is needed.

Lore of the Mercs: The pilots who fight for this faction are a mixture of Mercenaries who couldn't refuse the extremely large payment/protection from The Collective, prisoners of the Area Division forced into partial assimilation, and a strange cult like group of pilots who have faced it's forces, fearing assimilation, opting to join, and treat as though it were a god.

Titan of choice: Scourge These small colonies of the Ameba make great allies due to common interest.

Dialogue:

   Titan Ready: "We have Assimilated a Chassis for you Independent, make your request when ready"

   Titan Kill: "Good, goooood.... I shall salvage the parts immediately!"

   Evacuation: "INDEPENDENT, YOU MUST LEAVE IMMEDIATELY IT IS UNSAFE TO REMAIN, I SHALL SAVE YOU ALL..
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riot0711
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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She seems to be having a field day out there.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fedamasavasol
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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Titan Concept: Scourge

Load out:

Large chassis (1 dash, +50% recharge speed with with turbo engine) This titan has no shields, and batteries recharge abilities instead.

Primary: Arm Quills Having thrown away the weapon of this former prototype titan, it now uses biological coagulated fluid in the shape of spike like quills as a weapon, fired from it's wrist. Fires in 5 round burst dealing 25 damage (assuming each health bar segment is 100 hp) per shot, firing at 2.5 rounds per second, recharge speed of 2 quills every second, and a mag size of 25. These quills pierce through small enemies with tremendous fall off afterward.

Defensive: Blood Letting: At the cost of 50 health deploy a 10 meter radius puddle of biological fluid that causes enemies to slide, and have vision impaired by a flesh vine overlay on screen. Has a 6 second cooldown.

Utility: Build Mass: All enemy grunts in a 15m radius of the titan are absorbed and give 10 health a piece to the titan, pilots in a 5m radius give 25 health a piece. Cooldown of 30 seconds

Offensive: Infecting Lance: Using a calcium growth protruding from the titans fist, charge up to 15m forward dealing 5 β€’ (meters remaining) damage, also puts enemy titans dashes on cooldown, and impairs vision for 5 seconds.

Core: Budding: Titan creates an all biological clone of itself with half max health, has a duration of 45 second, upon the end of the duration gain half the remaining health of the clone.

Scourge Kits:

Airborne Transmission: While in the Blood Letting puddle, Pilots take 2 damage per second (assuming they have 50), and 2 stacking damage per additional second. Pilots inside of titans take 1 damage per second, and 1 stacking damage per additional second.

BioMass Bomb: While at above 75% health, Build Mass also explodes dealing 100 damage. While under 75% health gains from Build Mass are increased by 1.5x.

Glutton: All cooldowns are increased by 10 seconds, all incoming health is increased by 2x, and executions using infecting Lance heal for 100 health. Building mass no longer heals the titan.

Self Replication: Upon dealing damage equal to there max health clones create another clone, this is limited to 2 extra clones. For each clone gain a core delay of 10 seconds (meaning 10 added seconds until your core starts recharging.).

Lore:

"Sir! It's some kind of fucking beast! Get us out of here, please!" -Militia Infiltration Team of Unknown Operation (Status: Deceased)

A strange purple flesh like organism covering a Legion chassis,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riot0711
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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(Warning: Morbid dad joke) True Story -- My family were planning my mum's funeral. We always try to keep things light and try to stay positive, just as Mum would have it...

The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.

Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.

The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:

"What's sarong with that?"

I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).

His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.

--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)

--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zipflop
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same thing?

Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too..

Edit: thank you for awards, I have never gotten one before. I apologize that this is a repost, I did see it on TikTok and thought that it was cute and wanted to share. In the future I will check the sub for similar content before I post anything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lewzerman
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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If my son ever came out to be trans then I wouldn’t have a son anymore

I would have a daughter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captbeauner
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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The Communist ....Party
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saxonez
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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Blessed Are the Peacekeepers Pt1

Forward:

Almost seven months ago, I posted a two part story to this sub titled β€œApheraitors.” It caught a modest number of eyeballs, but those who read it seemed to react surprisingly positively to it. To be honest, I was flattered. And, high on the rush of having pleased and impressed so many strangers on the internet, I promised more to come.

And truth be told I had more. This story was already half written and a few others were outlined when I made that promise. But, I faltered. Part of that faltering was laziness, other obligations, the burning desire to play New Vegas one more time, etc. but part of it was real worry. Because, you see, right around the start of the new year, real world events happened that made me very nervous about publishing my second story.

I won’t be coy. This story features an unhinged conspiracy theorist who attacks a legislative council building for political reasons. I had written this before the events of 6 Jan, and the resemblance to those events is a coincidence. However, it was an uncomfortable coincidence, and I did not want to seem like I was exploiting a truly shitty day in my country’s history for internet points. Moreover, I know that people come to this sub mostly for escapism, wish fulfillment, and power fantasy. Those are perfectly valid forms of enjoyment, I enjoy them myself. But, they are easily soured, and someone looking for a good β€œFuck Yeah!” is unlikely to appreciate an uncomfortable coincidence, or a β€œmessage” deliberate or accidental.

I seriously debated scrapping this story altogether.

I wiffled and waffled for 3 months before deciding to finish it as I’d originally intended and let the chips fall where they may. This is that story. If it’s not to your liking, rest assured the others aren’t far behind it, and they’re less likely to have the same problem.

...unless vampires suddenly become a thing, but if that happens I’m far from the only writer who’s boned.

Happy reading,

Stay safe,

Be kind to eachother.

---

Blessed are the Peacekeepers

I know that the fact that I am writing these memories down at all will likely cause some stir. While almost everything I intend to talk about of an operational nature is (or should be) a matter of public record, tone and context matter a great deal. While the Capital Peacekeeping Corps will find nothing to argue against in the facts of the matter, an unsanitized, personal, subjective perspective on events goes very much against the common code of Fe

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Clefspear
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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Ah yes, pretty hip
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πŸ‘€︎ u/entertainer011
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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Dis-a-
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πŸ‘€︎ u/krismoff
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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What is the fastest growing city in the world?

Capital of Ireland

It's Dublin everyday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeaPanties
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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Such a pointless conversation.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/david_pridson
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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Don't know if this was posted here before
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πŸ‘€︎ u/choclite69
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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Essential adventuring and travel gear

It's a big scary world out there beyond Riverwood or wherever your character is starting, and you should never leave home without some essential equipment and adventuring gear. Otherwise you end up like me the time I forgot both a bedroll AND my waterskins. I've always had a checklist of items I bring before venturing out and wanted to share it to help out other UltSky roleplayers, prepare new players for surviving UltSky's monster and mod hazards, and see if you all have some indispensable items I'm missing. Here's my (overly-extensive) list that is heavily focused on low- to mid-level warrior/thief characters, not mages:

  • Primary weapon (2H weapon, 1H + shield, etc.)
  • Backup weapon (generally a dagger)
  • Hunting knife
  • Ranged weapon + 30 arrows/bolts
  • Main armor pieces + enchanted jewelry
  • 10 potions (mix of healing, stamina, magicka for mage characters, and some utility potions)
  • Pickaxe
  • Woodcutter's Axe
  • 8 pieces of wood + 2 crude tinder + 16 kindling (optional for starting fires; chop/forage instead if weight is an issue)
  • 3 days of food: you can always hunt or forage more later (add passive stamina regen dishes)
  • 4 full waterskins
  • Fur backpack with attached amulet
  • Bedroll or fur/leather tent
  • Cooking pot (I mostly use primitive cooking to heat raw meat, but I like the aesthetic of the pot on the pack plus setting it up at camp)
  • Survivor's Guide to Skyrim (book from Frostfall; not necessary but fun for RP)
  • Inkwell + Quill (for Spell Research or just to journal in Take Notes)
  • 500 Septims + mix of merchant and caravan notes if you have them
  • Cold-weather armor (generally fur armor feet/hands/chest; also good if you're a HA character who needs to sneak)
  • Cold-weather clothing (generally fur cloak + fur-lined hood, the ones that give +42 warmth)
  • Equipment repair kit + 2-3 ingots/leather materials (when I play smithing characters, I add an untempered gear break chance in Honed Metal MCM)
  • 15 lockpicks (or scrolls of knock if you aren't lockpick proficient)
  • 1-2 skill books for late night reading
  • 2-3 soap bars (especially plain soap if I plan on sneaking)
  • 2-3 torches
  • Travel lantern + 3 spare flammable oils
  • Amulet of Harvest Moon (for wilderness trips if you plan to forage food)
  • Handful of engraved bones (Hircine most important; optional if your character would know this magical item)
  • "Oh shit" ace-in-the-hole (invis potion to run, storm atronach scroll for muscle, paralysis potion for single target kills, etc.)
  • Wou
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cascadianna21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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What the fuck has happened to this sub!?

http://m.imgur.com/ImM3RWz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FwootHotCaacon
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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Petrocia teaches people how to make feather quills because they got a package

(I can't access my alt on a computer, so I'll be using my main. I forget to switch my account anyways tho... oh well)

>There was a package on top of Petrocia's bed today. The stone wedge covered in leaves and wool that they slept on had a small package, not very heavy and with a small letter on top.
>
>'Hey! You haven't taught a class in a while, why not show us how you make those awesome things?'
>
>It had no sender, but was addressed to Petrocia. Huh.
>
>When they opened the box, they found... several goose, turkey, and other beautiful feathers. Only primary flight feathers, they noted, were in the box. The feathers were clean, none too weathered or fragile. Underneath the geese, the turkey, and the eagle and hawk feathers, however, was a single flamingo feather. Did the sender want Petrocia to teach the students how to make feather quills?
>
>Petrocia would have shrugged if there was anyone with them. Guess I'll do a class about feather quills, then. It has been a while since I taught a class, and no student really has been either.

Later

Petrocia was writing in perfect cursive on the chalkboard how to make a feather pen. There were sketches describing the anatomy of a feather, and examples laid out on a side table. Students were starting to pour into the classroom, apparently quite excited about feather pens. Huh. Petrocia didn't think that feather pens were so exciting. They shrugged, and clapped to get everyone's attention. Most students knew DSL by now, so they didn't need a translator this time.

'Instructions are on the board. Ask if you have any questions. There are knives and feathers on the table over there, and example pens on the other one. I trust that all of you have done Sandstone's knife safety course, so there shouldn't be a problem, but I brought my first aid kit just in case. Paper and ink are also on the table if you finished and want to use your pen.'

The room was simple- rugs and desks randomly scattered across the floor, with simple wooden tables on each side of the class. A blackboard was hanging at the front of the room, and there was a window on the side with the craft materials. It was sunny outside, and light streamed in from outside. Compass joined in halfway through the classroom, and the class was quietly chatting with each other as they carved feather pens. Petrocia sat in a corner in between the example table and the blackboard, carving the light pink flamingo feath

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TetraTerantula
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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From my 5-year-old son: "Hey"

True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."

I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"

He responds, "it's dead grass."

I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"

.

.

.

He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.

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πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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Listing all of the balance changes the failed to be implemented correctly in the patch notes, description errors, and general troubleshooting from S4 onwards until EM fixes them - Patch 4.3 (Octavia Edition)

I've had this data gathering dust sitting in a text document on my desktop for about a day or two now, so I figured I'd stop procrastinating on sharing it with the community. Like before, please note that all of the testing regarding these balance tweaks was conducted within the Shooting Range, which has a recorded history of being notoriously buggy in comparison to live matches, so take this information with a grain of salt. I also sent a support ticket to EM detailing my findings, and it's been a few days, so some of these might have already been corrected in a hotfix I wasn't aware of. Each entry relays in which patch the mistake was discovered, and therefore, provides details on how long they've persisted without being fixed.

Legend:

u = units

cd = cooldown

efr = effective range

sd = simplified description

ad = advanced description

Furia

  • Light Forge's description hasn't been updated to reflect its base cd reduction from 20s to 15s, and is also not functioning properly in-game, which makes me believe this change was reverted in the PTS and I just wasn't aware of it. (Patch 4.2)

Io

  • The ad for Luna incorrectly lists the cd on her redeploy to be 8s instead of 6s. (Patch 4.2)

Koga

  • If Blood Reaper increases ult charge by 15%, it doesn't say so, and neither does it work in-game. (Patch 4.2)

Octavia

  • Whether intentional or not, Asymmetric Warfare heals allies for 100 every .5s, instead of the 75 that its description implies. (Patch 4.3)
  • Display of Force doesn't mention in its description that it increases the pre-fire beam damage of Creeping Barrage to 225 (from 100). (Patch 4.3)
  • Hell or High Water appears to give a burst of 275 healing to Octavia herself, but not to allies. This isn't listed in its description. (Patch 4.3)
  • The functionality of Octavia's unscoped primary fire isn't relayed anywhere. Both descriptions for her unscoped firing mode describe her Designated Sights damage; information about her unscoped firing speed should be added to her left click description, whereas the current damage information should be moved to her Designated Sights blurb. (Patch 4.3)
  • Bit of a sentence structure nitpick here, but I think the sd for Designated Sights would read better if it said "in midair" or "in the air" instead of "in air". (Patch 4.3)
  • As other Reddit users have discovered, Octavia's De
... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GawenStarTeller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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Swung by Serafim is awesome, anyone else love it?

OMG. I don't usually care for Snape as a primary character, especially not Snape POV/main char, but this fic is just excellent.

It's got it all. An interesting but mostly true-to-canon Harry. Likewise with Snape and most other characters. Follows canon plot, but makes it interesting -- doesn't take too long dragging on with it, doesn't follow too close to the original so that it's boring.

Voldemort is defeated about halfway through, and I was a bit hesitant to keep reading as it seemed like the fic was headed towards "Lord Potter Black Peverell saves all of humanity at age 17 with his overpowered awesomeness and quick wit" but it's... just skirting that line. Like, the overdone bits are there, but it's so well done it isn't horrid, and better yet it is believable. Example excerpt that doesn't really have plot spoilers...

>β€œNow, the most important part of this lecture: do not ever use primary feathers in your potions. Never.”
>
>Pershore swallows before asking, β€œWhy not?”
>
>β€œEveryone, hold up your quills,” Harry instructs. β€œYou’re all holding a quill made from a bird’s primary featherβ€”no…no, only most of you are. What theβ€”what is that?” he asks, pointing at Shimizu’s fluffy pink quill. That feather did not come from any bird Severus has ever seen.
>
>β€œIt’s…a quillβ€”all right, it’s a plastic feather with a metal ink nib attached!” Shmizu admits, blushing. β€œI was terrible with a feather quill!”
>
>β€œIs that pink thing new to this term, this year, or have you been using it since you started school here?” Harry asks, still giving the feather an appalled look.
>
>β€œUhβ€”just last week. I got it over the holiday break,” Shimizu says.
>
>β€œJust checking. It means I can blame everyone except your Headmaster, then.” Harry shakes his head. β€œListen. A bird’s primary feather is ostensibly the most important feather to a species that flies. It is thrust, power, and controlβ€”a bird’s hand, basically. Everyone else in this room is holding quills made from primary feathers from differing birds. We’re magic-users, all of us, so the control that the primary feather lends to the bird is also lended to us when we use the quill. In more basic terms, it makes it easier to adapt to using a quill in the first place, and we can write for longer periods without our hands cramping up. I am not actually against your ink nib, just that fluffy pink thing you have attached to it.”

So yeah, he's over-educated and showin

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kerruffle
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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If you slap Dwayne Johnsons butt

You officially hit rock bottom

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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Bit coin or something idk
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/naughtyballsack
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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What rhymes with orange.

No it doesn't.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Remo1975
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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My Bluetooth speaker wasn’t working so I threw it into the lake.

Now it’s syncing.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

Because he wanted space

Edit: Thank you for the awards.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaa_virus
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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To the person who stole my MS Office License.

I will find you. You have my Word.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Regclusive
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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Water pun
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/duckykitty7
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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He is right there...
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jointly_epic
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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I've started a boat building business in my attic...

...sails are going through the roof.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xholdsteadyx
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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I got banned from /r/DadJokes for posting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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I told my dad that home births have skyrocketed since corona; he was confused.

He thought homes were built, not born.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SomeoriginalAlias
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?

A taxi

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SubstantialBelly6
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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*Triggering britishers*
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_patataa
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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Bill and Melinda Gates got divorced. Melinda got the house...

But Bill kept the Windows

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScubaPride
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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So we all know that you find H2O inside a fire hydrant, but what do you find on the outside of a fire hydrant?

K9P

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyNameIsVoodoo
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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[Divinity] - Arc 5 - Chapter 8: Open Eyes

Previous | Next | Chapter List | WordPress | RoyalRoad

##########

I remember the beginning. I remember kneeling. I remember pain. I was…remade.

##################

ARC 5 - PARACLETE

CHAPTER 8 - OPEN EYES

##################

Lukewarm water had never brought such relief. Raegn dunked his head below the surface and let the world fade away. The silence was serene. It took away all distraction. No sweat-slicked hair stuck to his forehead, no itch of salt-dried skin, no seething words of hatred that everyone in the city seemed to carry. Being given the space for his own thoughts, however, brought little enjoyment.

Raegn’s face tightened as he remembered the slain rebel. Had the man only been guilty of fighting for those with affinity who refused to reveal themselves? Was standing against an oppressive ruler worthy of the hate he’d been shown? A part of him believed the Justicar should find offense in the spectacle of an execution the Emperor used to sow seeds of influence into his people. A rash reveal and declaration of persecution was the stuff of child’s tales, though. The Order had permitted Shaktika its practices for years now. The true goal lay in Victoria’s marriage and bringing the Shaktikan army to fight the Void when the Realm called. Squashing the rebellion so all effort could be put into a singular focus would be the most efficient way. If a people had to suffer for a few more years, was that not better than risking extinction?

Raegn forced the speculation away as he broke the surface and gasped for air. Those sort of things weren’t for him to decide. It was Highlord Orgeron’s responsibility to bring the Realm to heel when the time came. He was merely an arm of the Order, operating within set limits. So long as the Highlord permitted him to fight when the darkness showed itself, he would be satisfied. Dealing with politics and policing the common man were not what drove him to succeed in a two-season trial.

He dried and dressed quickly before any sweat could reappear and soil a new set of underclothes. Edolie had been kind enough to handle their laundry, more a deed than Raegn had initially thought given he changed two or three times a day. His things gathered, he made his way out of

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lightenant
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.

And then you will all be sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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In surgery my doctor said, "So what do we have here?" I replied that I broke my arm in 12 places."

He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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I told my wife I saw a deer on the way to work.

She said how do you know he was headed to work?

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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In honor of Mother’s Day, I’d just like to say,

β€œthank you for your cervix.”

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rusto_Dusto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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Initially I didn’t believe that my chiropractor was any good.

But now I stand corrected.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!

Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nikolai_G
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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