A man attacked someone with a small device for powering electronics
He was later charged with battery
My calculator only has enough power left to do one calculation
I really have to make it count
With great power
Comes great electricity Bill
Ever since the power company shut off my electricity
I’ve been in a very dark place.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25 You know why?
Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plead?"
The defendant who is a robot: "Guilty as charged"
Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.
Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.
What is a musicians favourite power tool?
The power of my nun-chucks
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
Why can't the power bank see his kids?
Because he has a battery charge
Spider-Man has many incredible powers, including the ability to know how many spiders there are around the world.
He uses his Spider Census.
Why did the power line not go to prom?
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
What does a junkie power ranger say before shooting up?
Why are pictures of Polar Bears always so powerful?
Because they're on polar roids.
If you had a Tesla and it got stolen...
Would it now be an Edison?
What you call a sea horse with Telekinesis powers?
A Chi-horse
Sorry, this is the worst joke I have ever made
With great power comes...
...a lot of work over a short time.
Probably not Watt you expected, right? I currently currently feel a little resistance to this joke.
Spider-Man offered to give me spidey powers to invent new quips for him.
I guess you could call it a quip pro quo.
My brother dug a hole in the ground, filled it with water then designed a moving staircase that was powered by it.
That well escalated quickly!
Great power, great responsibility, etc.
My power walk was cut short today
I ran out of extension cord
Why can't athiests use exponents?
Because they don't believe in a higher power.
The legalize cannabis party had a fair few stoners voting for it this past election, but not enough to gain power
That’s a lot of wasted votes
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
....and the second one Duplikate.
Like a good Grandpa I share with my 12 yr old Grandson the amazement of r/dadjokes regularly. He thinks you all are totally cool. I told him there is much power here. How? He asked. Let me demonstrate... With the diahrrea song.. I'll start.
Some people think it's gross but it's really good on toast. Diahrrea...
What do you call peanuts with guns?
Google is riding around on some CHROME rims
Instead of medicine, my hippie girlfriend cured her hemorrhoid using only the "power of positive suggestion."
Not to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, right now you’re thinking, “It’s psychic, idiot.”
Why is Spider-Man so good at comebacks?
Because... with great power comes great response ability!
Those German electricians really work together when their Cities have power outages.
Many Hans make light work.
I don't plan to put up solar panels...
But, if you do, more power to you.
There's a rather unknown Greek myth that involved Zeus farting so loudly that it caused powerful lightning storms all over Greece. Panic and chaos ensued, and there was widespread looting as fires raged out on control.
Thus began the Zeus Toot Riots.
My secret dad power is invisibility
Unfortunately, it only works at parties.
Why does Loki have illusionary powers?
It allows him to be low-key.
After seeing Watt leaving the Texans
The team’s power ranking will only get lower.
How to Castrate a Bull, in Limerick Form
I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight
The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist
To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!
It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"
What did one power line say to the other power line?
Iron man yielded infinity stones and after the snap, due to stones’ immense power, he died!
Apparently, it turned out to not be his strong suit!
With great power comes...
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