I interrupted her and told her that it is in fact called a toy-let.
A turdis.
Shit was intense.
She said “no why?” I said “‘cause European”
She said “I don’t like your dad jokes, they’re the worst.” I responded “no, those are from Germany”
He must have a shitty job.
Daddy robot says “number 1 or number 10?”
Now instead of pooping in her diaper, she assumes the poosition
The perCUSSion
An envy pee.
(like an MVP, get it..OK I go away now)
..."The backyard is full of them, we don't need any more!"
"The shit would really hit the van then". snort
He's #1 at #2.
I'm doing asbestos I can!
I exclaimed "urine all-star!"
It took her mom a moment before she groaned
The Bat-hroom
My daughter tried to go poop today for the first time on the potty. It didn't go well. There was "one that got away" if you know what I mean. She got excited and ran out of the bathroom without being properly cleaned up. It ended up on the rug in her room (she has a brown and green rug so it blended right in) and my wife found it by stepping on it. I had to run to the store to get some carpet cleaner. I get home and she has it mostly cleaned up. This is where it starts: Wife: I got most of it out already. Me: Ok. I'll get the rest with the cleaner. Wife: I scrubbed it pretty good for like twenty minutes. Me: To get it that clean, I thought it would have taken about turd-y minutes. She groaned and my son and I laughed.
"I got a new toilet topper for you guys so you can put your shit in it!" "I usually just put my shit in the toilet!" Let's just say we got off on the right foot. Then the left. Also should add im 18 years old and this surprised my two best friends at the landlady.
