An Exorcyst.
I said, "I don't think it's that kind of book."
Ex-static
When it was over, I turned to my friend and asked, "Did you get anything out of it?"
You mean Mary Pop-puns?
The Chicken Fettugenie!
Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...
Theoretical Fizz-ics
Sounds like the work of a Cereal Killer.
But it was soda pressing
Apparently their music was not audible in their noise cancellation headphones
I should have bought asparagus.
Kernel
Supplies!
I wish he wasn't influenced so much by pop culture.
Minnesota.
Yeah.
A Shamonarch, if you will.
...it's pretty catchy.
Teacher: “So I want everyone to understand that a dead body isn’t disgusting, and we need to be able to handle it and always be observant at all times when dealing with one”
The teacher has everyone turn their body over
Teacher: “Now I want you all to stick your finger in it’s ass and hold it in there for a moment”
all of the students do as instructed, hesitant at first
Teacher: “Okay, now go ahead and pull your finger out and then put a finger in your mouth like I do”
The students getting a little disgusted by that request REALLY hesitated at first, but eventually they all did as he asked
As the teacher has all of his students with their finger in their mouth, he tells the class, “now see it’s not disgusting if you did it right...if you put your index finger in the ass, and put your middle finger in your mouth like I did, you have just passed my class”.
With minimal observance, and a dead silent room...not one student passed the pop quiz
His job was soda pressing.
You pop the trunk
I've already been promoted to Kernel.
Thank god! Nothing happened because it was a soft drink.
Cos they keep saying "check, mate"
My friend looked at me and said, "I guess there's only so much shit you can take."
True story.
I said "Oh? That's interesting. I typically eat it."
I said, “you’re lucky – mine is still alive…”
The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.
The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Since they're part of pop culture
A pop quiz!
(I don’t know why this makes me giggle)
Hip-pop
But actually he loves pop culture.
I said, “I’m taking Advil before Aleeve”
What can I get for you bud?”
“Pop” goes the weasel
He runs the lamp and a genie pops outs, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, but your ex wife gets twice whatever you wish for.” The man thinks for a minute and says, “Okay first wish is for a million dollars.” “Okay” says the genie, “your ex wife also now has two million dollars” The man thinks for another minute and says, “ I wish for a Lamborghini” “As you wish” says the genie “your ex now has two Lamborghinis” Finally after a few minutes the man says, “for my final wish, I wanna be beaten half to death”
... but unfortunately nothing that jumped out at me.
I mean it is a calf-einated beverage.
How many likes does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
One has shoaly hits
