What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs lying in a pool of blood?

An ambulance.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Happy_Each_Day
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I think I'll get a loan to buy a swimming pool

But I'm worried I'll be drowning in debt

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChromeKorine
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RushilPc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pool party BBQ?

Swim meat.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7Deadly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you act big pimpin' at a pool party?

You turn the hose on...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrSanwich
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a quadruple amputee in a pool?

Bob.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnbreakableHoe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
How does Dolly Parton clean her swimming pools?

Chlorine, chlorine, chlorine, chlorineeeeeeeeeeee!

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doerofthings42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to build a community swimming pool.

So, I handed him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gr8prajwalb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
One to make you scratch your pool noodle

Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.

Lifeguard: What ya got there?

Me: Hummus

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joel_sopp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What game do chickens play in the pool?

Marco Pollo πŸ“

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryvee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Where does a pool table keep its money?

In its pockets

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
The pool

On the titanic is still filled with water...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/h4ndSh4k
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Sometimes, when you find yourself walking through a shallow pool for no reason...

...you have to stop and ask yourself what you’re wading for...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sully1227
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...

It's a mootual fund.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The public pool sector must be taking a real dive right now
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ruzenu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an unvaccinated kids in a swimming pool?

Water polio

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get 100 rowdy Canadians out of the pool?

You ask them.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I found what looked like a kitten frozen in my iced-over pool. I dug it out and let it defrost, it turned out to be a big squirrel.

I thought I thaw a pussycat.

πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Somebody wrote a quote at the bottom of the pool.

It was deep.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shieldedtoad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Jean Pool
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hound_O_Ulster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs and he’s floating in your pool?

Bob.

(It’s padre’s birthday and he just dug that one out of the depths of his memory...)

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QueenDip
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman balancing a pint of beer on her head playing pool?

Beertrix potter

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a security guard at a swimming pool?

The poolice

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohhnoitsmeagain
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently had a fellow knocking door to door asking for donations for our local pool...

I was happy to give him a full glass of water to help!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pyrojodge
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?

A cue stick

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lovepuns
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Hitler in a pool?

Adolfin.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The deepest swimming pool in the world

Is most likely on the Titanic

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Guess they will not be there for me in the pool
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A German built a swimming pool around his table.

Bad um Tisch

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/treenaks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I was racking up to play pool with my son, and he said, β€œDo you wanna break?”

I said, β€œWe haven’t even started. How lazy are you?”

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I was just chillin by the pool on the 4th of July with my 11 yr old. I told him I got a little Sun...

And then you had a growth spurt.

It took him a few minutes...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night my wife threw me in the pool

I had some pretty wet dreams

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clubby_21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Swimming pool
πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMemeGod13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Some boy scouts came to our house today and asked for donations for a local community pool being built.

I went and got them a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B1gB0iM3ME
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the swimming pool?

They couldn't keep their trunks up!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hardrockclassic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to the swimming pool the other day and desperately need to pee so just peed in the pool

Got such a fright when the lifeguard blew his whistle that I nearly fell in..

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sardonicuis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the Queen in a hurry to get to the pool at Westminister?

She didn't want to be late for her chlorination.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Csteel97
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I was about to shoot some pool with my friend Jacques and asked him, β€œHey, where is your cue?”

He said, β€œIt’s between the c and the u.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't 4 jump into the pool?

Because they were 2^2

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/f_tothe_p
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Some lifeguards at the pool were doing a ph test to see how the pool was doing, and I was fascinated by it.

I thought to myself, β€œDang, hydrogen is powerful”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Obscure_Things
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call s man with no arms and legs in a swimming pool?

Bob.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/s_tormbringr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting in a pool?

Bob

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TuttsMcGee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MANTRA2018
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A man knocked on my door today and asked for a small donation for the local swimming pool...

So I gave him a glass of water...

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Hitler in a pool?

Adolfin

πŸ‘︎ 135
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IEatSauce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool

I gave him a glass of water

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report

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