I wanted to join a pole vaulting club
But they set the bar so damn high!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 11 2023
Got to the top of the north pole the other day. Once I reached it
It just went south from there
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 31 2022
Movie idea: All of Santa's helpers get lost at sea, and one by one they are brought back to the North Pole by a clam.
We can call it "Elf on a Shellfish"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 24 2022
(Father to daughter) There's a misconception that the north pole is cold and icy... It's actually tropical.
Yeah it's because of all of the rain, deer.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 08 2022
We may use the Pole Star, but canines use Sirius to figure out North, East, West and Snout
Sirius, aka The Dog Star.
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 25 2022
Do you know why they moved Alcoholics Anonymous meetings to the North Pole?
Because it's so brrr up there.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 01 2022
I went on an expedition with a group to the Arctic Circle. Once we reached the North Pole, the guide turned to me and saidβ¦
Crap, this is the point of the journey where it all goes south.
(Not a true story, but as a dad I would totally do this.)
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jun 03 2022
If a person carries a pole with a flag that says "I like to be dominated"
... does that mean it's a substandard?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 30 2022
I once took a holiday to the North Pole
It was great while I was there but after that my holiday just went south.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Jan 24 2022
My son tried to climb a flag pole during a thunderstorm.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 28 2022
What do elves in the North Pole use to grab hard-to-grip items?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 04 2022
I used to have a crippling fear of pole vaulting.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 20 2021
I wonder what it would be like to live as as elf and make toys at the North Pole
I bet it is way cooler than you think
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 20 2021
Santa moved his workshop from the North Pole to Brazil.
I guess that's why all my Christmas presents come from Amazon.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 22 2021
Imagine moving to the North Pole βοΈ
I don't think I could bear it
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 23 2021
I tried to lure the kids down by hanging their dinner from my fishing pole
But the steaks were too high
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 23 2022
What did the ghost hunter say wheb he went to the North Pole?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 14 2022
I took my boys to the traveling circus and told them to keep their focus on the biggest pole...
...because that's the center of a tent son.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
A pole to help with your next debate
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 16 2020
What does a pirate say when he comes to the north pole?
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 04 2021
Why do a lot of nurses go to college at the North Pole?
Itβs where the Icy U is
π︎ 21
π
︎ Feb 23 2021
Iβve always wondered what itβs like to be a telephone pole...
I bet it would be electrifying
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
Why did the turtle retire and move to the south pole?
He couldn't handle any more hare-racing adventures
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
As I was walking down the street, I noted a man with a large pole in his hand and stopped to ask, "Are you a pole-vaulter?"
His response was, "No, I'm German, but how did you know my name was Walter?"
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
Did you hear about the man who invented a more efficient way to set up the high jump and pole vault?
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 26 2020
Note: the Warsaw Ballet doesn't appreciate being referred to as "Pole dancers."
π︎ 60
π
︎ May 16 2018
What did one fishing pole say to the other?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
Daughter just asked, "Dad, do you know what you would be if you tried to go to the north pole right now?"
An ice pop.
The dad joke is strong with this 8 year old.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Jan 29 2019
My friend was very irritated because his fishing pole broke and he had to wind up the fishing line manually.
He was being a reel crank.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
What do you call a thrill ride that goes from the North Pole to the South Pole?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 06 2019
Why is it hard to keep secrets in the North Pole?
Because your teeth chatter
π︎ 21
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︎ Nov 24 2019
On my yacht, I make one of the crew dress in cute costume to stand for the pole supporting the yards, booms, and rigging...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 28 2020
Why couldn't the pole go to heaven or hell after it died?
Because it was stuck in limbo.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Sep 15 2016
My wife wanted to buy a pole for our house.
I told her she should probably take it for a spin first.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 01 2019
Dad just asked if I liked to fish, thens pulls a pole out from behind like couch and says he likes cat fishing
π︎ 18
π
︎ Nov 29 2013
A lady walks up to a man, who happens to be holding a giant stick. She proceeds to ask him, "Are you a pole vaulter?"
He replies, "No, I'm German. How did you know my name?"
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 22 2014
Why did the turtle retire and move to the south pole?
He couldn't handle any more hare-racing adventures
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
I once went on a trip to the North Pole.
It all went south from there.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 29 2019
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