Someone pointed out my own comment I didn't get it at first.
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
I was driving with my daughter when she suddenly pointed her finger to an orange sign and said “Look Daddy, Road Works Ahead!”
I said “I sure hope it works, or we’ll have to take a longer route!”
Some jerk pointed at the butt of an exceptionally furry donkey and asked me what it was.
I said "That's a hairy ass ass ass, ass!"
I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted…
Coach Butt pushed his team The Doodies into the Toilet Bowl. But, his team was playing like crap after a heavy load. And even though Coach knew his #1 was flushed, he pointed at him and said...
I was walking through town with my wife one day when she pointed out a man dressed like a tree selling $1 hard-boiled eggs,
She said "What's he doing? Is this normal??? It isn't even Easter".
I said "Oh him? That's Egg-Sell-Ent"
Today while discussing game meats and a kangaroo stew I made a few years back, my coworker pointed out that with the Australian wild fires you won’t be able to get much kangaroo meat these days...
My reply without missing a beat — you’ll be able to buy it, you just won’t be able to buy it rare.
My daughter pointed at a spear and said “daddy look it’s sharp”
I replied with “that’s the point”
An aspiring beekeeper went to a farmer’s market to pick up a small hive. They placed an order for a dozen bees. When picking up the bees, the seller handed them a case of thirteen bees. Noticing the extra bee, the keeper pointed it out to the seller.
The seller said, “Oh, that last one is a freebee!”
My Gf just pointed out that pasteurization has become really effective this year
Our milk lasts the rest of this decade!
My wife pointed to a dent on the side of the plane and said, “Should we be worried?”
I said, “No. It’s just an....Airline fracture.”
I bet my friend I could identify any bird. He pointed to one and said, "What about that?"
I told him, "Yup,definitely a bird."
I was at a sandwich restaurant once. I got a meat and cheese sandwich, and when the waiter asked me what kind of meat I wanted, I pointed to his knee. He didn't know what I meant, so I left.
I guess he did understand that I wanted bologna.
My father pointed at these boots at the store today and told me 'they're half off'. Thought this deserved to be here.
My step dad pointed at a pea which had escaped from a bag of peas
and said "it's an escapea"
A vampire bat returned to his colony with a lot of blood on his face. When the other bats asked him what happened he pointed to a building and said: “See that cow barn over there?”
I had to go to the bathroom and I pointed at a sign in the distance and asked my friend, "Does that say 'Restroom'?"...
He said he didn't know, but he saw "-room", he didnt see the rest.
My wife pointed to a flowering shrub and said "hibiscus"...
I waved at it as I walked by and replied "Bye-Biscus"
If her audible groan was not satisfaction enough, the amused chuckle of the older gentleman walking in the other direction certainly was.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
As we were driving, a friend of mine pointed to a bridge with a train on it and stated that the bridge didn't look very strong.
I replied that what it lacks in strength, it makes up for in training.
Just now w/my daughter at Zupas I gasped and pointed behind the cashier and said “oh no...
you have a leek” she spun around looking for water. Then she saw the bucket of produce. She was not amused 😒
I asked my dad to bring me a glass of water, so he pointed at my aquarium and said "you have plenty" and walked out, and now everytime I ask for water he does this
My friend pointed out to my other friend that he had a hole in his shirt. He replied with: "Holy Shirt"
My friend Ella pointed at a nut and asked what it was
I bought a universal small pointed tool used for piercing holes
awl for one and one for awl
My son pointed at a tree and said “Wow, look at that bush”
I corrected him and said “That’s not a bush, it’s a treason”
My dad pointed to a building and asked me the color of the wall. I said tan/beige. He said...
Then why does the sign say Walgreens?
My friend was sitting next to a DeWalt drill. I asked him if they had met as I pointed at the drill.
He said.. "What kind of question is that?" So I said "So you know the drill."
My daughter pointed at an ornate chandelier hanging in a lobby and said, “That’s a pretty light”
I said, “I dunno it looks pretty heavy to me”
My arch enemy pointed at my T-shirt which read "Never forget WW2" and said "I bet you're so stupid you don't even know what the second W stands for".
I stared dead at them, pointed, and said "This means War!"
I pointed a tape gun at coworker as he passed by and shouted "Beep beep, you're speeding, sir. Gotta get you a ticket"
Coworker: "Nah, how you gonna prove it?"
Me: "Easy, I have it here on tape!"
As a traffic planner I was asked how and where I intended to improve flow through intersections. I pointed on the map and said,
Earlier today my coworker pointed out a lady with two shopping carts
She would push the first one about 50 feet, then return to get the second, and push it to the first.
"She is just getting her cartio" I replied
My wife had an ultrasound yesterday and the tech pointed out where the Humerus was.
I looked at my wife and said, "Humorous, he is already funny".
My wife pointed out to me today that she's bought me shoes for each of my last two birthdays.
Me: "I guess you really are my sole mate."
My brother pointed out that my check engine light is on.
"It's because it has emissions problems."
"How did it pass safety inspection if it has emissions problems?"
"I guess the tests weren't very exhaustive."
An obvious Dad on Twitter pointed out something about "Robinson Crusoe"
Did you realize that Robinson Crusoe was the story of the first Black Friday?
I was going to "for shame! for shame!" him ... but I chuckled first and then I couldn't.
My roommate pointed out a guy running in a bike line while we were driving.
Her: Doesn't he need to be on a bike?
Me: Well...he is bipedal.
Cue groan.
When i pointed out to my dad a guy with hair down to his ass
Me: oh my god that dude has long ass hair
Dad: how would you know he has long ass-hair?
I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted…
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