What do you call a little guy in a pointy hat on a train saying "tick tick tick"?

A metro-gnome

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arirr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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The other night I tried to kill a vampire with a really big pointy stick, but my aim was terrible.

It was a giant missed stake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jzerene
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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I can’t even stop that pointy eared tree mouse from stealing my food

It’s safe to say I hate mice elf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jcbrnld
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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I once saw a little guy with a red pointy hat riding the D.C. subway, listening to some music, tapping his toes perfectly in time with the beat

He was the greatest Metro Gnome ever.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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There's this planet, where the pointy-haired natives never smile, never crack a joke,

except every seven years, when all they do is word play.

It's called Pun Farr.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2016
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I’m making a movie called constipation

I can’t wait till it comes out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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My Dad Goes To The Dentist

When he gets there, the Dentist asks, "Are you here for your teeth appointment?"

"No," Dad replies. "I'm here for my teeth alignment. Why would I need pointy teeth?"

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LavaWolf800
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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Bullets don't kill

It's the speed that does

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πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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What do you call a sharp dot who points out directions for blind people

A pointy point who has no point in pointing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/casecracker108
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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For Star Trek Dads

Everybody knows that Vulcans have pointy ears, but did you know that Vulcans have THREE ears?

They have a left ear, a right ear, and a FINAL FRONT EAR!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mikope
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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(OC) Samurai: So you're telling me

You can kill someone by throwing this pointy metal star at them?

Ninja: shuriken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4aronC
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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A little boy walked in on his dad..

A little boy walked in on his dad working on the PC, his tools scattered about, and a few internal components laying on an ESD(electrostatic discharge) mat.

The little boy went to pick up a part, and asked his dad, " What are those pointy things on the bottom?"

"They're pins."

"Wow, there's a lot of them. How many do they have?"

"Well, there's a few different types, so it depins."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hentaisianbloke
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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In terms of groundbreaking inventions.....

I'd say the jackhammer is at the top.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ccitraro
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2014
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My friend, his Father and I were about to sit down to eat some pasta when he asked "forks all round?"

To which I replied "No, they're the pointy ones."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weavin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
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My dad got me.

"I wonder why we have tailbones, they have no point."

"I think they're pretty pointy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeechipmunk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
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"I actually have a lot of pointless stuff in my room"

"I don't know, I'm pretty sure SOME things in here are pointy"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hex498
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2014
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