There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.
And then you will all be sorry.
My buddy was showing me around his tool shed when he pointed at something and said, "That's my stepladder."
"I never got to know my real ladder."
My daughter pointed at a big plastic ball with a famous kids cartoon explorer on it....
I said, "That's A DORA BALL!"
Such a pointless conversation.
My wife said she's leaving me because I spend to much time trying to get reddit points for dad jokes.
Bill and Melinda Gates got divorced. Melinda got the house...
But Bill kept the Windows
What do you call someone who points out the obvious?
Someone who points out the obvious.
My wife uses nasal spray a lot, to the point we think she is addicted to it. I tried to send her to rehab, but she didn't like it.
She said it was just a bunch of stuffy people.
Back in my day, high school sports athletic conferences wouldn’t let you participate if you didn’t keep at least a 2.0 grade point average. It seems times have drastically changed...
I just heard about 20,000 leagues under the C!
I remember asking my dad repeatedly what the acronym LGBTQ meant.
I never got a straight answer.
You made a great point, Dad!
Why can't blind people eat fish ?
What’s the difference between Taxes and Texas?
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who?
Who cares it’s pointless.
Since it's International Women's Day, I'd like to point out some inequality: If my wife wears nothing but one of my t-shirts it's cute, but if I wear nothing but one of her t-shirts...
...I have to leave Home Depot.
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
A little boy asks his dad, "Do trees poop?"
The dad says, "Of course. Where do you think #2 pencils come from?"
I had a vasectomy because I didn't want any kids.
When I got home, they were still there.
What do you call Muhammad Ali when he reaches his boiling point?
Never marry a tennis player
Love means nothing to them
I think everyone should get married at some point in life
Noone deserves to be happy forever
How dare they make someone else clean that up
I want to tell a vaccine joke
I was starting to get worried about my Karma points on Reddit...
But getting over it was a piece of cake.
My kid is at the point where they want to put bandaids on everything...
I swear this is a true organic dad joke I had tonight. Felt I’d share it with reddit.
My kid came up to me and says “oh no, look dad, it needs a bandaid” as she gently presents her imaginarily injured bouncy ball.
I looked at my kid and said “I don’t think it needs a bandaid, he looks like he’s going to bounce back”
Teacher: Felix, when is the boiling point reached? Felix: Just after my father reads my report card.
When you are at rock bottom in life...
Me: *Pointing* I hear that guy is a veteran. Friend: Which guy?
When driving by lowered, loud pipe cars I like to point at the air foil in the back and yell,
I found pictures of Mt. Rushmore before it was carved
Its natural beauty was unpresidented
Disarming Skeleton in DnD
Dm: You walk into a room full of skeletons holding onto rusted weapons
Friend #1: Ok.... Uhhhh... Lets disarming the skeletons b4 they come alive.
Friend #2:Good idea, Ill grab the one with the spear.
Friend #3:Ill grab the one with the swords.
Me: and ill grab their arms :>
Friends and DM: -_-
Just got an epic eye roll for this: My son was showing me his school work from math, where he was learning fractions. I pointed to where he wrote his name on a line at the top and asked what that fraction was.
I told him it should be {Sons Name} / Mommy. Since he came from her.
Then I said he could reduce that fraction further since he came from his mommy, that fraction would equal....
One Whole
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