Planting wheat always gives me a headache.
Why did the farmer get pulled over after planting his field?
My neighbor got mad at me for planting my flowers too close to the fence...
I told them that they were still a few yards away.
We tried planting some herbs in the back yard.
The basil has done fine, the other died. I turned to my wife and said, “well, there’s no thyme in quarantine!”
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
I never really cared for gardening, but after planting a few seeds..
My neighbor is planting some saplings in is yard
I had a dream where I was planting myself in a garden.
It felt so real, I actually soiled myself.
Old man Art was planting flowers in his front yard. The homeowners’ association fined him $100.
Yard Art is strictly prohibited.
Me to My kid: "I heard you've been planting trees, son! Why don't you plant Tulips?.."
Sherlock was gardening when Watson came over and asked what he was planting.
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson".
I don't know why some people make a big deal about planting a garden...
I was originally opposed to the idea of planting a seed on my back
But it's really grown on me
People told me that planting ivy on my body was a bad idea
but now I think it's grown on me.
Terrorists have been planting bombs in Alphabetti Spaghetti.
Experts say that if detonated, it could spell disaster.
Dad planting trees in the backyard...
Come home, see my dad planting trees in the backyard... I ask, "How do you know where to plant the trees?" Dad says, "It's arbortrary".
Planting some annuals today, told my son they had to be done immediately...
...because they were impatients.
[Request] Plant puns for a bookmark!
Making a bookmark for part of my friends xmas gift. We're both botany students, so I'd like to make it plant related.
I really want to know more about plants...
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
Son: “What crime would I be charged with if I broke into the Capitol and planted a forest?”
Dad: “Well I’m no legal expert, but I suspect there’d be some trees in there.”
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow
NASA put a watch around a potted plant and sent it on a rocket to the sun. I said to my Daughter, "don't worry, it will be ok.."
"a watched pot never boils"
You can't plant any flowers
Why don’t blueberries want to be planted next to the corn?
Because the corn was a stalker.
What does Baby Yoda feed his plants?
A chemist plants a seed
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What’s the scariest plant?
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
What do you call an indoor plant?
This tasty plant wasn't just a big dill, it was the National Anethum
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
My friend injects his marijuana plants with sugar water as they grow, they sells bags of it for much higher prices...
He's trying to sweeten the pot.
Did you hear about the spies who planted tiny microphones inside a box of tic-tacs?
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
I hate my new job in the shoe recycling plant
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
I married my wife for her looks
Just not the ones she been giving me lately.
Thanks for the silver ❤️
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
What do you call a plant that had its genitals swapped?
My neighbor planted dogwood trees in his front yard
I’m not a huge fan of the bark
Why did Vice Squad raid the water treatment plant?
They'd received a tip about a bunch of Pumps and Hoses.
(I'm sorry. I just got off work, heard "pumps and hoses" on the radio, and a bad idea was born.)
Help me making a pun names based around a samurai plant
this is for something important I just need a name for a plant who's also a samurai. Any pun name will be appreciated
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Terrorists have planted bombs in cans of alphabetti spaghetti.
If they go off it could spell disaster
I wanna tell you a joke about a girl that only eats plants...
But you’ve probably never heard of herbivore
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