One sloth turned and said to the other, "I used to dislike moss...

...but now I think it's growing on me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jedd-the-Jedi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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What do you call conservative moss?

A repub-lichen! It doesn't work as well written down, sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/happyballplayer78
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Moss Cow
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/serialchiller__
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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A Rolling Stone gathers no moss
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mill3nnialfalc0N
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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I used to hate moss

But then it grew on me

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mudgestar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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What did the Spanish moss say to the cypress?

Mind if I hang around?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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Next time I go on a date, I'm gonna bring moss instead of flowers...

So she knows I've taken a lichen to her.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ModernMrDarcy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
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Does a Moss-que grow in the shade?

No, it grows on the Sunni side.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/felipe41194
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
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My friend asked me what the capital of Russia is
πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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What's the Russian word for dry-aged steak?

"Moss Cow."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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Why can't Mick Jagger become a bryologist?

Because a Rolling Stone gathers no moss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died

but he has been lawn gone.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ikennaezeee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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I’m lichen these rocks!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chapsley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Seen this in pets at home.. mehehe
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkOnOrange
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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Can you name 3 places in Scotland that are also the names of Grand Prix winning racing drivers?
  1. (Lewis) Hamilton

  2. Stirling (Moss)

  3. Ayr Town Centre!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Found this gem, thought it belonged here.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dealsrop
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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How do spies send secret messages in the forest?

Moss code

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gl3nnsth3man
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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What do you call the facial hair on a tree?

A moss-stache

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2018
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Dirty joke

I was helping an elderly man load some garden soil into his car and he remarked that the peat moss was more expensive then the soil I looked at him and said "that's because soil is dirt cheap."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/subsurfer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
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Why would you never see Keith Richards picking lichens?

Because a rolling stone gathers no moss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alx924
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
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The Rolling Stones were a fantastic band...

...but few people realize that when they weren't on tour they had a side job as muscologists.

They had an extensive collection of mosses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vandorbelt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2017
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A collection of my fathers best.

I was showing my dad some pictures from my trip to Europe. He saw a picture of a rock covered with moss and said, "I'm lichen that!"

For Christmas dinner we were having ham. The plate of carved ham was between my dad and I. Someone asked where the plate went. My dad says,"We're hoggin' it."

There was a store in my home town called carols cedar cellar. It was damaged in a flood and they knocked the building down exposing the basement. We drive by and my dad says,"Now you can cedar cellar."

I have so much to learn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roostermathis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2015
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Son came home from school today

He was so proud of what he learned and told me, "Today I learned about Photosynthesis, like a moss"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arimarismacon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2016
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Dad joked dad

So I was walking along a bush path with my dad and brother and I was smashing them one after the other

"dad I keep feeling these plants, they probably want me to leaf it alone hahaha. How fern-y am I haha. If you guys don't like these jokes, I have found the root of the problem. I should probably branch out on my type of jokes, but I'm totally rockin it. I am having the moss-t amount of fun right now hahaha".

I thought it was hilarious but they just looked at me haha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/silly-bowser
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2014
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Got dadjoked by a friend today

We were just driving in silence, then he looked at me and said,

"It grows on you,"

"What does?"

"Moss"

It made crack up for 5 minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DalvBot12
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2014
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How do spies send secret messages in the forest?

By moss code.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_mono_no_aware
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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"Don't step on the lichen!"

"You're not the moss of me!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2016
🚨︎ report

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