Philosophy Of Time Puns

The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.

But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

It's either pictures of birds or things like these:

"Did you hear about the hipster who burnt his tongue? He ate pizza way before it was cool!"

"I heard they found that girl Amber who was missing." (There was an Amber alert in MD that day)

"Know what happens when you take "the" out of psychotherapist."

"If life gives you melons, You might be dyslexic."

"Six more weeks of winter isn't so bad when you consider the official first day of spring is seven weeks away."

"At first, I hated the speed bump they put in my front street... But I'm slowly getting over it."

"Why is it impossible for a horse to major in philosophy? You can't put DeCartes before the horse!"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank gourmet coffee before it was cool."

"Q. How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Fish"

"I was going to take all of my old watches and hook them together to make a belt... But then I realized that would be a waist of time."

"Why all the fuss about the Redskins changing their name.

Just change the mascot to a Potato.

Then it's not only un-offensive but delicious."

"I think the NSA is spying on me. They're leavesdropping in my yard."

Bonus picture status

I was in my philosophy class yesterday and my professor was explaining about contradictions. He said,

"For example, something that's red can't be colorless. I can't think of any red thing that can be colorless."

The whole time he was saying this the 45 year old inside me was screaming, "a newspaper".

So it's an Ancient Greek Philosophy class discussing the Presocratic philosophers of the sixth and fifty centuries BC and we were discussing Pythagoras.

One student was asking about the harmony of numbers in music that Pythagoras came up with and was amazed that he came up with that so long ago.

Student: "So he came up with all that way back then? Jesus Christ that's crazy!"

Me: "No this was before Christ."

Fortunately, everyone in my class appreciated it. Not enough groans though.. I'll do better next time.