26 Hilarious Peeing Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

What did the police officer say when she caught a man peeing on the side of a building?

Urine big trouble mister!

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👤︎ u/TitanPhoebs

📅︎ Dec 07 2020

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There's a show that consists only of people peeing.

You can see it on a number of streaming channels.

👍︎ 17

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👤︎ u/Joesdad65

📅︎ Nov 07 2020

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Love is like peeing your pants...

... Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.

👍︎ 19

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👤︎ u/TickleLife

📅︎ Sep 21 2020

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A man goes to the doctor, and says "doctor, I havent been peeing correctly and its painful". The doctor replies "I will have to perform a prostate exam." As the doctor examines the man, he pulls out an $100 bill out of his bottom. This continues, he keeps pulling out money from this man's bottom.

After about half an hour the doctor says..."You won't believe this, but i just pulled $1999 out of your bottom"

The man turns around and says "Yeah, I wasn't feeling 2 grand"

👍︎ 69

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👤︎ u/domheffo

📅︎ Aug 13 2020

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What did Watson say to Sherlock Holmes after peeing?

No shit, Sherlock

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/shity_redditor

📅︎ Aug 28 2020

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I tried peeing from across the bathroom today

It was a leak of faith.

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/ToothSleuth86

📅︎ Jun 28 2020

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I was so mad for peeing myself in the night

I wrung my bed in shame.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/Aphex-Puddle

📅︎ May 24 2020

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What do the English yell before peeing on thier enemies?

Urine trouble!!

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/danspud69

📅︎ Feb 26 2020

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People! The public bathrooms are for peeing only!

Either you're in, or you're out!

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/shaystibelman

📅︎ Apr 10 2020

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What did the cop say to the guy he caught peeing in public?

Urine trouble pal

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/Mastrwill

📅︎ Feb 13 2020

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Doctor, I keep peeing my pants! What can I do?

Urologist: “It’s mind over matter, urine control.”

👍︎ 44

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👤︎ u/boogerknows

📅︎ Oct 19 2019

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When I was at the pool yesterday, I began peeing in the deep end

The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I almost fell in

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👤︎ u/8791781927

📅︎ Jul 04 2019

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I asked my wife what she thought of my peeing skills, on a scale of 1-10...

She said “urinate”

👍︎ 35

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👤︎ u/hoosierdaddiesx

📅︎ Aug 02 2019

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I caught my toddler peeing on the carpet

I politely asked him to piss off

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👤︎ u/Fab-_-

📅︎ Oct 14 2019

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What’s worse that peeing next to a man?

Peeing next to a man who ate asparagus.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/dubaidadjokes

📅︎ Jul 23 2019

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I'm going to start a country for people who are into peeing on/getting peed on other people.

I'll call it the urine nation

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👤︎ u/Farmerofwoooooshes

📅︎ May 03 2019

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I just sat down on the toilet, and started peeing when I realized there is no toilet paper

I'm about to lose my shit

👍︎ 11

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👤︎ u/BigSchaqq

📅︎ Jun 26 2019

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Just finished peeing and the wife came in after and asked: "Did you just piss without flushing"?

I replied, "Yea, it's pretty clear..."

.3 seconds later I realized how funny it was.

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/BearWithTridentToo

📅︎ May 19 2019

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What's wrong with peeing outside?

Urine public.

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/RC_Tycoon

📅︎ Feb 24 2019

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Last night my child dreamt that he was peeing in bed.

Good news: Some dreams do come true.

👍︎ 35

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Mar 28 2018

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When you find a dollar while peeing

Urine luck

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/baloo_the_bear

📅︎ May 16 2018

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Guess what my dad just yelled at the dog for peeing on the carpet?

Urine trouble!

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/theModestConArtist

📅︎ Oct 05 2017

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What do dads say when they see someone peeing?

European!

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/Selissi

📅︎ Feb 08 2016

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Peeing in McDonalds

Dad walks in

"What're you doing here? Isn't this where the dicks hang out?"

👍︎ 18

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👤︎ u/Squatchy_adam

📅︎ Jan 04 2015

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I tried peeing from across the bathroom this morning.

It was a big leak of faith.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/ToothSleuth86

📅︎ Jun 22 2020

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If you have trouble peeing, Urine trouble

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/njacy

📅︎ Nov 07 2018

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