I was supposed to park on the east side of the lot...

...but I occidentally parked on the west

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiochemBeer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I know a lot about decorative park statues.

I'm just a fountain of knowledge.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmotionallyPained
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I found a $20 bill in the parking lot of the grocery store. I asked myself, what would Jesus do?

So I turned it into wine.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A driveway isn't a parking lot...

...it's a parking little

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I was backing out of the parking lot earlier when I backed into a car! The driver was only 3 feet tall....!

He got out of the car and started waving his hands above his head! He kept yelling "I'm not Happy, I'm not Happy!"

So, I got out and yelled back, "Well, which one are you!?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Existence111111
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I was walking in a parking lot and tripped. I hit my head on a car.

I fell into a Tacoma

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Howard_Jones
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I took my kids to a pumpkin farm today and they had an electric fence around their parking lot.

As I placed my hand on the fence I told my kids "I'd be shocked if this is on!"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rumin8tion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a shared parking lot with my neighbor. I don’t like him much but I’ve decided to try and be friends. After all...

We have a lot in common

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beybladepenis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Barking a lot on a parking lot
πŸ‘︎ 668
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vanquar8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2017
🚨︎ report
You can't trust the trees on the west side of the parking lot.

They get shady...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theriskjunky
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Went to an Ed Sheeran concert at Arrowhead in KC. We parked in the red parking lot.
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheik718
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I wanted to say hi to the guy I saw while parking my car, but it looked like he was going through a lot.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TOBIMIZER
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
We were driving by a parking lot full of cars. Dad points and says...

That's a lot!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SillyDaddy89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to visit my pregnant friend in the hospital and found a parking spot in the C section of the parking lot.

I had to climb out of the sunroof.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I dropped a box of donuts in the parking lots and all the crows are eying them greedily...

It's a tempted murder.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does every tech company have a basketball hoop in the parking lot?

So people won’t have troubleshooting.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DericAA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Just found a victim of hit and run in a parking lot. Crime is unbearable.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fasterthan3E8mps
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
🚨︎ report
While pulling into a parking lot my wife noticed a car with a reverse light out.

Our friend in the back seat was a dad for a short while. All I heard her say was "I guess only half of the car is backing up."

I'm so proud of her.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rudelyinterrupts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2018
🚨︎ report
The other day, I saw a guy pooping on a car in a parking lot.

If you ask me, that's really fowl behavior.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/massivevivid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I parked in the C section of the hospital parking lot.

The only way I could get out of my car was through the sunroof.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
So I was Dad joked in the parking lot

So I just met a master jokester. The setting:

I came out of work across the parking lot and a car comes at me. So I cross and I hear him go, 'youre walking too fast for this place' it's a 55+ community. So I walk over to talk to him and he goes 'what are you doin here your awfully young to be here'

me: yeaah, I'm 10 years to young. I'm the new chef for your clubhouse'

Him: 'youll be cooking for old men'

Me: 'its a challenge'

Him: 'well I don't want to keep you

Me: 'im just picking my dad up from physical therapy'

Him deadpan, 'well you might not want to do that'

Me: why?!

Him dead serious: well, because he's got to be heavy

Me: ... I can't believe I just got grandpop joked

Him: you better believe it

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZenPancakes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The parking lot at the shopping center was broken.

I guess there were malfunctioning mall functions.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pietdagamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Last night I was late to a dinner with friends because I couldn't find any parking. Eventually, I just parked the car in a place with a lot of foot traffic.

It got toed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SandJA1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Me and the old man were walking down a parking lot.

On the way to the store he points and laughs.

"Ha! That's illegal"

I look where he points and it is a Pontiac Torrent...

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yann_the_mann
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Because it's a parking lot.
πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kibblets
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2014
🚨︎ report
What happened to cars illegally parked in the frog lot?

They got toad.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hutimuti
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2017
🚨︎ report
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing.

It’s on the house.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quibblicous
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a camouflage truck in a parking lot today...

Me: I wish you'd made a comment on that camo truck, so I could say "What truck?"

Mom: Sorry, I didn't even see it!

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bren926
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2016
🚨︎ report
What's the deal with parallel parking? It should be called co-linear parking, parking in a parking lot is parallel parking!

My dad was a math teacher and thinks he's Seinfeld.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/USAFacts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the peanut in the parking lot?

It was a salted.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2016
🚨︎ report
My co worker gave me a heads up as I was leaving about a deer outside the parking lot

I responded with "thanks for bucking up, but I don't think I will have to worry about it doe."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kitten_Factory
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Waiting for my brother in the parking lot...

my dad and I watched a girl in a banana costume run by the car and out off the lot. My dad quickly says, "I guess she had to peel."

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad pulled this one on me in the mall parking lot

"Hey amnesiajune, where did we park?"

"Uhh... 2A or 2B"

"2B or not 2B... Thats the question!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amnesiajune
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad stops abruptly in front of his car in the parking lot and looks at the hood...

"SHIT!" ....patiently waits for someone in my family to see the bird poop he is staring at while my mom is freaking out about a possible dent.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seewhatyadidthere
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
🚨︎ report
In the parking lot.

My local zoo has a Christmas Lights night for members. My wife and I just took our daughter, and while we were leaving, a couple pulled up next to us. The woman got out of the car, and I said, "be careful, it's a zoo in there."

Neither of the people in the couple appreciated it. I snickered the whole way home.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nappy-doo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2013
🚨︎ report
At the mall parking lot when a bus load of middle school band kids unloads

"Wow, where do you think all those kids come from?"
"Their homes."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBadTacos
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2013
🚨︎ report
I went to visit a friend at the hospital and found a spot in the β€œC” section of the parking lot.

I had to climb out of the sunroof.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I parked in the C section of the parking lot.

I had to climb out of the sunroof.

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What do a call a parking lot that has been flooded?

Car pool!

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MufasaReborn91
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
🚨︎ report
So on my way to work today, i noticed alot of people using the church parking lot to make U-Turns

I guess the church is a good place to turn yourself around.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rogshamosh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I was visiting my pregnant friend at the hospital, and the only parking spot I could find was in the C section.

I had to climb out of the sunroof.

πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report

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