Paper Rush Puns

Personally, coronavirus has me scared shitless.

So I swiftly rushed off to find a pen and paper to write for an ambulance.

But there were some baby goats there using alchemy to paper money into coins near the exit. As I rushed out the door, I tripped over some of their stacks of coins, which knocked me out til the police showed up.

I was so close! And, honestly, I would have gotten away with it too... if it weren't for those metaling kids.

I'm not sure if this qualifies as a dad joke, but... Whenever I missed school in my childhood or had to have something signed, like a progress report, I would usually have my mom sign it. The few times I forgot where she had already left for work, I would have my dad sign it. I would never look at it and just rush off to the bus. I would get to school and hand it into my teacher and she would look at me like I was an idiot and hand me the paper back:

"To whomever it may concern, Robrak was ill yesterday, please excuse his absence.

Abraham Lincoln"

My friend: "an about to reread my middle east paper."

Me: "Iraq-en it's a great paper"

My friend: "lol it's okay. It was sorta rushed."

Me: "Just because it's called Iran doesn't mean you have to hurry through it."

Link: http://imgur.com/Jp8kITM