Orchestras Puns

It was just one ting after another

The conducktor

I blew it.

I took my wife to the orchestra. I'm not a huge fan, but it was her birthday present. The evening was a night of Rachmaninoff.

It's been an evening, and they get to his 9th symphony. It's a longer piece, and there's this whole movement where it's all percussion and wind instruments. The bassists leave the stage, and two cellists also step away. No big deal. The cellists apparently went back to the conductor's dressing room and began having sex, which I think is just awesome. The bassists went to the green room and started drinking. They knew how long they had. When one of the younger guys noticed the time almost up, an older one stopped him, and let him know that he threaded the score pages together, forcing the conductor to vamp and cover while he opened the rest of the score. That gives them a bit more time. When they get back to the stage, they're really drunk. The cellists still haven't returned. The conductor is frantically trying to undo his score while maintaining the piece. I'm watching this all, gleefully. It's the best concert I ever saw. My wife is a bit frustrated though, and whispers to me "why are you so pleased?"

I tell her, "It's the bottom of the 9th, the score is tied, the basses are loaded and there are two out!"

He's now my semiconductor transistor.

Too much Sax and Violins.

I said "Sorry kiddo, you're gonna have to wait until you're in high school…"

"because it's got sax and violins."

It's time to face the music!

The violins

The purr-cussion section.

She had to pull a few strings.

He's telling the organ player to pipe down

It wasn’t his forte.

Because silicon is just a semiconductor

Domestic violins.

They don’t know how to conduct themselves.

He hated violins.

predictable, as it was led by only a semi-conductor

With a super conductor.

Always trying to get the symphony vote.

It wasn't that I admired him really. To be honest his skill level made me feel a little cellist.

There's too much sax and violins

Edit: Thank you so much for the gold and silver

Because it's a semiconductor.

They should know violins is never the answer..

It was just one ting after another.

Now he's a semiconductor.

"…it has a lot of sax and violins."

Donald Trump said protesting was good, but he wanted no violins

They touch bass.

In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.

Blessed be the flute

I would hate for them to resort to violins.

It was A minor error.

contra-band

important, my family speaks Spanish

After my school's Christmas concert, I went out to eat with my family. They were asking me about some people who were announced for having made it into the All-State Band and Orchestra, one of which was a string bass player (contrabajo in Spanish).

I told them: "Si... Ella toca contrabajo. (Yes... She plays string bass.)"

And my dad replies: "¿Pues si toca con trabajo, porque la aceptaron? (Well if she plays with difficulty, why did they accept her?)"

TL;DR: Contrabajo = string bass, con trabajo = with difficulty

Because he's a poor conductor

It was quite disconcerting to everyone.

Too much sax and violins.

A boa conductor.

He was quite a bad conductor

It's just like a regular orchestra but without the bells and whistles.

I heard every symphony has a first chair.

Because There’s too much violin-ce

A tuna

There is too much sax and violins in it

There's too much sax and violins.

Too much violins on tv.

There's just too much sax and violins.