I really dropped the ball on that one.
The doctor said I have Auld Lang-syiety.
We will bring in the New Year with "I am Barbara Walters and this is 2020"
Ill put on those novelty 2020 glasses and proudly say i have 2020 vision
that way I always start the new year off on the right foot
I'll be like same shit different year
They were a year old
See you next year!
It should have said "Happy New Ear" instead.
New Years Adam.
Right before everyone sees 2020.
For the rest of the year
My girlfriend and I are hosting a party when I suddenly start suffering from stomach pain and diarrhea. Feeling crappy, I decide to lay down. My girlfriend comes into the bedroom to see how I'm doing. Looking sad, I tell her I'm sorry for being a party pooper.
So, not my dad, but my mom's a neonatologist (she works on sick and premature newborns) and she has to work tonight (New Year's Eve).
I jokingly asked if they had a ball drop in the NICU, and to my surprised, she said yes.
"When the testes descend."
...in loo of partying.
True story :(
The next morning, Dad "Wow havent seen you since last year. Thought you were a gonner!"
Someone else: "So what are you doing now that you're graduated?" Girl in hot tub: "I work in beer up in Portland." Me: "Do you ever come up for air?"
Nobody got it. I fear my jokes will only be funny once I reproduce.
