On the first day of my flying lessons, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, βWhat are all these buttons for?β
βThey are to keep your shirt done upβ he replied.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
Danger, Fear, and Panic came knocking at my door. It'd been ten years since the last visit, and all holding clipboards, were ready to begin the inquisition. Nervously, I opened the door and prepared myself to answer their calling.
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 05 2020
A person was twitching nervously on the street.
A police officer came by and asked, "Who's your dealer?"
The person just stared him in the face.
The police officer then said, "Nice poker face there."
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 15 2017
What did the nervous mailman get diagnosed with?
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︎ Jan 29 2021
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower ?
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︎ Nov 12 2020
I always get so nervous about the new year.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 31 2020
I got a new tablet computer but I'm nervous every time I use it.
I guess you could say I have Surface tension.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
My pregnant neighbor was really nervous when the woman who was to assist her in labor was stuck in traffic.
She was having a midwife crisis.
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 27 2020
I made up a joke so get ready to hate on me. Trump (I know it's topical).... Trump was nervous during the election and was asked "hey, do you want some spiced tea"?
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 03 2020
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
βYouβre too high strung, donβt fret.β
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 04 2020
A bit nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials.
The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that itβs completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveΡ, and that I feelshΞΊΞΉ ΟoΟoshΞΏΜ Ρ ΡΡΠ²ΡΡΠ²ΡΡ ΡΠ΅Π±Ρ Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ ΡΡΡΠ°Π½Π½ΠΎ ΠΈ Ρ Π΄ΡΠΌΠ°Ρ, ΡΡΠΎ Π²ΡΡΠ°ΡΠΈΠ» ΠΎΡΠ»ΠΈΠ½ΡΠ΅ ΡΡΠΈ.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 28 2020
Why do people get nervous around stoned beef?
Because the steaks are high.
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 09 2020
My guitar neck got nervous
I said βdonβt fretβ
π︎ 24
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︎ Jun 29 2020
My anatomy class is covering the nervous system and I don't get any of this stuff.
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︎ Jul 27 2020
My son recently got casted as a sheep in a play but was nervous about forgetting his lines
I said "Son you're just feeling sheepish"
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︎ Jul 28 2020
Alittle bit nervous
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︎ Dec 31 2019
Just signed up for my companyβs 401k!
Iβm kinda nervous though...Iβve never ran that far before.
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︎ Jan 11 2021
A man had a nervous breakdown at a Mexican restaurant
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 18 2020
I get so nervous during earthquakes,
that I start shaking uncontrollably.
π︎ 16
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︎ Apr 30 2020
William is nervous about his life prospects
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 15 2020
My wife is nervous about having to talk to strangers on a cruise we are about to take.
I said, βDonβt worry. We are all in the same boat.β
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 28 2018
Why was the pastry chef nervous about making 100 cakes in a day?
It was a high whisk situation
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︎ Apr 17 2020
My friend used to get so nervous that he peed his pants every time he had to stand up in his third grade class.
Finally he quit his job as a teacher.
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︎ Jun 05 2020
Just saw that joke about eating a clock for the umpteenth time. Finally decided to try eating a clock myself, but now I'm freaking out.
I think I picked up a nervous tic.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 29 2021
You know why the Titanic sank?
The captain was nervous and needed an ice breaker
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Scientists found that the nervous system doesn't actually exist.
It's just a lack of the confidence system.
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︎ Apr 12 2020
When my uncle died, he left me an apartment building he owned, but I was really nervous about taking it.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 11 2020
What causes people to have anxiety?
An over-active nervous system.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Why was the cheese nervous about the taste test?
Because he knew heβd be grated.
π︎ 16
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︎ Jan 10 2020
The nervous system
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 06 2020
What do you say to a nervous mortician?
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 16 2020
Iβm so nervous
π︎ 22
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︎ Dec 06 2019
A guy walks into a bar and orders a Corona and two hurricanes
The bartender says, βthatβll be $20.20β
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︎ Aug 23 2020
I'm really nervous about this bug-eating contest
I've got butterflies in my stomach.
π︎ 12
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︎ Jan 22 2020
Why did the plate look nervous?
It was feeling skit-dish.
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︎ Jan 24 2020
I figured out why I am so shy and awkward
A main part of my body is called the nervous system
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︎ Dec 21 2020
My 2019 calendar is looking nervous.
I think it knows its days are numbered.
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 18 2019
How does a nervous person like their eggs?
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 15 2019
The first day of flying class, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, βWow! What are all these buttons for?β
He said, βThey are used to keep your shirt closed.β
π︎ 12
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︎ Nov 19 2020
my first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
copilot: they keep your shirt closed
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Aug 28 2019
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Nov 11 2019
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?
π︎ 151
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︎ Nov 07 2019
I get so nervous with earthquakes
that I start shaking uncontrollably
π︎ 45
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︎ Feb 28 2020
First day as a pilot....
Me: (Looking down nervously ) "What are these buttons for?"
Co Pilot: "They keep your shirt closed "
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 05 2020
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
What do you call a nervous spear thrower?
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 24 2019
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 18 2019
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