What did the nervous mailman get diagnosed with?

Mail performance anxiety

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CzarcasmRules
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nervous Jedi?

Panickin' Skywalker

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oatli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Men with tattoos used to make people nervous...

Now they make them lattes.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower ?

Shakespeare

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Conviction666
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I always get so nervous about the new year.

Good auld Lang-siety

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ymay-editray
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My pregnant neighbor was really nervous when the woman who was to assist her in labor was stuck in traffic.

She was having a midwife crisis.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a new tablet computer but I'm nervous every time I use it.

I guess you could say I have Surface tension.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/commentonthat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I made up a joke so get ready to hate on me. Trump (I know it's topical).... Trump was nervous during the election and was asked "hey, do you want some spiced tea"?

He replied "Chai, nah".

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joker-here
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?

β€œYou’re too high strung, don’t fret.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sellwinerugs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A bit nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials.

The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshΞΊΞΉ Ο‡oρoshό я Ρ‡ΡƒΠ²ΡΡ‚Π²ΡƒΡŽ сСбя Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ странно ΠΈ я Π΄ΡƒΠΌΠ°ΡŽ, Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ Π²Ρ‹Ρ‚Π°Ρ‰ΠΈΠ» ослиныС ΡƒΡˆΠΈ.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pot8toes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My guitar neck got nervous

I said β€œdon’t fret”

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do people get nervous around stoned beef?

Because the steaks are high.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlwaysPlaySupport
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Alittle bit nervous
πŸ‘︎ 241
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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My anatomy class is covering the nervous system and I don't get any of this stuff.

It's so nerve-wracking.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My son recently got casted as a sheep in a play but was nervous about forgetting his lines

I said "Son you're just feeling sheepish"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is nervous about having to talk to strangers on a cruise we are about to take.

I said, β€œDon’t worry. We are all in the same boat.”

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I get so nervous during earthquakes,

that I start shaking uncontrollably.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A man had a nervous breakdown at a Mexican restaurant

Hispanic attack

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
William is nervous about his life prospects

Will is future tense

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewormPL
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the pastry chef nervous about making 100 cakes in a day?

It was a high whisk situation

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weathermancam12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend used to get so nervous that he peed his pants every time he had to stand up in his third grade class.

Finally he quit his job as a teacher.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists found that the nervous system doesn't actually exist.

It's just a lack of the confidence system.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeggiesForThought
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the cheese nervous about the taste test?

Because he knew he’d be grated.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darth_Yohanan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
When my uncle died, he left me an apartment building he owned, but I was really nervous about taking it.

I got a complex.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jason_Boyd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m so nervous
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yashT19
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
The nervous system
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dry_turtle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you say to a nervous mortician?

Keep calm and carrion.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WenDMegs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm really nervous about this bug-eating contest

I've got butterflies in my stomach.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiljaeden
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the plate look nervous?

It was feeling skit-dish.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Very nervous
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gliese_436b
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a nervous person like their eggs?

Over-uneasy

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FeedbackUSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
When the tomato was nervous . . .

Tomato paced

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My 2019 calendar is looking nervous.

I think it knows its days are numbered.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DadJoker1988
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nervous Darth Vader?

Panakin Skywalker

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EdRich3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My son is nervous about his upcoming driving test.

I said, β€œDon’t worry. Your parallel parking skills are unparalleled.”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Stairs make me nervous...

because they're alway up to something.

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wilgrove
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2017
🚨︎ report
A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, so went to his father for advice. "My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they stare at each other for a long time...

The boy's nervousness builds, but he then asks, "Do you like potato pancakes?"

"No," comes the answer and the silence returns like a suffocating blanket.

"Do you have a brother?"

"No."

After giving it some thought, the boy plays his last card, "If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the nervous dog say when asked if he had to go to the bathroom in Manila?

Am I full of pee? No!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KittenImmaculate
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare.

πŸ‘︎ 153
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I get so nervous with earthquakes

that I start shaking uncontrollably

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lewwap
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nervous spear thrower?

Shakespeare

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pewds_is_waifu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nervous spear thrower?

Shakespeare

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pewds_is_waifu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report

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