A list of puns related to "Music Stores"
I got there in 33, which is record speed.
Finnish Hymns
I knew all that time I spent playing Guitar Hero would pay off some day.
So I decided to just go Bach home.
And started looking at some string instruments. The owner came up to me and said "Cello, good buy!". Confused, I walked out thinking 'what a rude way to greet a customer...'
The thief made off with the lute.
I discovered that I can buy a piece of musical equipment that will enhance my playing, so I went to buy one.
Me: I didn't realize that these existed until two days ago.
Clerk: Oh no, they still exist today.
The store keeper said that they ran out of stock of piccolos but he could rent out a flute, the lieutenant agreed promptly.
After the performance the lieutenant came back to the store to return the flute. The store keeper asked if he was the flute tenant
No I am the lieutenant
They couldn't afford a tenor.
b sharp, or b flat
I place two packs of strings on the counter and the man serving me says:
"Third set of bass strings I've sold today... A string cleaning of sorts!"
Bass Pro Shop
Audiofilephile.
What do you call a database of people who love sound equipment?
Audiophile file.
What do you call someone who loves a person who loves to store digitally storing music?
Audiofilephilephile.
I would have broken more if they didn’t kick me out of the music store.
She said I wish you would put as much effort into life as you do your shitty jokes. It wasnt even that bad.
The man on the news said "...in the run up to christmas stores are already announcing record sales" I said "thats not news HMV* announces record sales everyday".
*HMV is a music shop.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
“Every time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, ‘The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
“I’ll call you later!”- “Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”
Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!
What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
“My dad literally told me this one last week: ‘Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”
“Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’”
I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.
If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: “Wow, that’s coincidental.”
I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
“Me: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”
“I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
“How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it
“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.
I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: “Don’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: “No, it’s a math problem.”
I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
... keep reading on reddit ➡My wife and I drove by a vacuum store that had closed permanently the other day. I said "do you know why that store closed? Because their vacuum's sucked"
her groans were music to my ears.
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
So I was leaving the local music store on an overcast day, and I passed by an older gentleman outside on the walk to my car. It had started sprinkling pretty hard at this point.
Old man: "Looks like rain" Me: "Feels like it, too!"
Blank stare as I get in my car and drive away
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