Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?
Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh
What's a geologists favorite museum?
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.
I'm not happy because I have to work at the museum tonight moving suits of armor.
What did the student say after visiting the Thomas Edison Museum?
I enjoyed being enlightened
My wife and I went to the Museum of Medicine and we were browsing the exhibits...
Wife: "Look, they used to treat pain with willow bark".
Me: "I'll give that one 3 stars".
Wife: "This one is about the invention of antibiotics".
Me: "I'll give it 8 out of 10".
Wife: "Apparently, they used give people cowpox to protect them from smallpox".
Me: "Definitely 2 thumbs up".
Wife: "Why do you keep doing that?".
Me: "I'm the curator of this museum"!
They moved the penis museum from Iceland to Denmark.
They classified it as a dick move.
I just read in the newspaper: "Painting stolen from art museum found by a set of dustbins."
Those dustbins must be very intelligent.
So I was out at the museum with my daughter today and got the ultimate dad joke in. Employee asks kids "Does anyone know the difference between a Crocodile and an Alligator?"
One will see you later and the other will see you in a while?
Daughter groaned, employee laughed, other dad's nodded approvingly.
It's a air and space museum
I went to the blind museum today. It really sucked.
If Da Vinci saw the Mona Lisa in an art museum,
I think he would have Louvred it
I saw my ex girlfriend standing on the opposite side of the museum hall, and I was too self conscious to say hello.
There was so much history between us.
I went to a museum to feed the animals
but they were all stuffed.
Why did the skeleton go to the museum?
Because it wanted to go see the skull-ptures.
I saw a really ugly painting in the museum
turns out, it was a mirror.
I was at the museum and saw a painting of a bowl, with milk and some kind of food inside.
[At the museum] My wife: Do you think we are allowed to take pictures?
Me: No, I think they need to stay on the wall.
I took my kids to two museums today!
It was kinda fun.
Same old, same old.
I went to the museum today
I was at the museum recently
I asked a worker there if I was allowed to take pictures.
He said no, they had to stay on the walls
I was just reminiscing with my family about our last visit to the Clock Museum.
Seen at Museum of Natural History in London
In a museum, found the boring bit
My friend is weirdly addicted to going to museums and kissing Impressionist paintings.
He puts his Monet where his mouth is.
There was an accident in the Paleontology section of a Natural History Museum where multiple dinosaur skeletons collapsed and were broken beyond repair. The directors of the museum were concerned that visitors wouldn't visit that section anymore ...
but visitors still showed up to view the
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
I decided to quit my job and become a museum curator, but to be honest
I'm just doing it for the Monet
Took the family to the Star Trek museum today, and we were the 10,000th visitor.
I went to the Air and Space Museum.
It was an empty building.
Just been to the National Helium Museum.
I really can't speak highly enough of it!
My son gets really excited when we go to the natural history museum. When he gets near the prehistoric bones, he just explodes with excitement and I can't deal with is new strength.
I'm just not qualified to handle his dino-might.
What is a museum about cows called?
Breaking News: Vandals broke into the Origami Museum last night
Will keep you posted as the story unfolds.
Wife: "Oh, wow. I didn't know there was a watch museum here. Why have we never been?"
Me: "I guess we've just never had the time."
I'm saddened to announce that due a recent warehose fire, I'm going to have to scrap my plans for a road side advertisement museum.
I really should have seen it coming. All the signs were there.
Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo...
We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...
I found this in the Lenin-museum in Tampere
Why didn't the famous clock in the art museum work?
It was a timeless piece of art
I'm annoyed because I had to work at the museum tonight moving suits of armour.
[At the museum] Her: Do you think we’re allowed to take pictures?
Me: No. I think they need to stay on the wall.
I was at the museum and I saw my ex girlfriend across the hall, but was too self conscious to say hello.
There was too much history between us.
I saw my ex-girlfriend standing on the other side of the museum, but I didn’t go and say hi.
There was just too much history between us.
I was just at the museum
and I asked a worker there if we were allowed to take pictures.
He told me no, as they have to stay on the walls.
I went to the air and space museum yesterday
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