I’ve decided to open a museum dedicated to bracelets that happen to be magnetic.

Hopefully it will be a big two-wrist attraction.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2021
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At the museum they're beginning to disassemble the mummies exhibit.

I guess that's a wrap then.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gherkinstein
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31 2021
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Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh

πŸ‘οΈŽ 97
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
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What's a geologists favorite museum?

A smithstoneian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Adreana1789
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2021
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I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.

The frame was remarkable

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Strungen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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Night at the Museum 43
πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ProjectBudgetCuts
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 03 2020
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What did the student say after visiting the Thomas Edison Museum?

I enjoyed being enlightened

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billgluckman7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2020
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I'm not happy because I have to work at the museum tonight moving suits of armor.

I hate knight shifts.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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So I was out at the museum with my daughter today and got the ultimate dad joke in. Employee asks kids "Does anyone know the difference between a Crocodile and an Alligator?"

One will see you later and the other will see you in a while?

Daughter groaned, employee laughed, other dad's nodded approvingly.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Darkbow85
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2019
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My wife and I went to the Museum of Medicine and we were browsing the exhibits...

Wife: "Look, they used to treat pain with willow bark".

Me: "I'll give that one 3 stars".

Wife: "This one is about the invention of antibiotics".

Me: "I'll give it 8 out of 10".

Wife: "Apparently, they used give people cowpox to protect them from smallpox".

Me: "Definitely 2 thumbs up".

Wife: "Why do you keep doing that?".

Me: "I'm the curator of this museum"!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2020
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They moved the penis museum from Iceland to Denmark.

They classified it as a dick move.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Darr1ss
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 09 2020
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It's a air and space museum
πŸ‘οΈŽ 89
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/declandrury
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2020
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I just read in the newspaper: "Painting stolen from art museum found by a set of dustbins."

Those dustbins must be very intelligent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
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Very cool museum
πŸ‘οΈŽ 942
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jothebest75
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2019
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I went to the blind museum today. It really sucked.

I couldn't see a thing!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2020
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I saw my ex girlfriend standing on the opposite side of the museum hall, and I was too self conscious to say hello.

There was so much history between us.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 23 2020
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If Da Vinci saw the Mona Lisa in an art museum,

I think he would have Louvred it

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JAWICA2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
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Why did the skeleton go to the museum?

Because it wanted to go see the skull-ptures.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WatchOutItsAdam
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2020
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I went to a museum to feed the animals

but they were all stuffed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2020
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I saw a really ugly painting in the museum

turns out, it was a mirror.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aNotSoShortName
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2020
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I was at the museum and saw a painting of a bowl, with milk and some kind of food inside.

It was surreal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 155
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NameTheTrait
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2019
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[At the museum] My wife: Do you think we are allowed to take pictures?

Me: No, I think they need to stay on the wall.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 133
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2020
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I took my kids to two museums today!

It was kinda fun. Same old, same old.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2020
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I was at the museum recently

I asked a worker there if I was allowed to take pictures.

He said no, they had to stay on the walls

πŸ‘οΈŽ 173
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AhPigeons
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2019
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I went to the museum today

Nothing new there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommyWiseaus_butt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2020
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I was just reminiscing with my family about our last visit to the Clock Museum.

Good times.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2019
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Seen at Museum of Natural History in London
πŸ‘οΈŽ 68
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ana_Xr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 24 2019
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In a museum, found the boring bit
πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FloopersRetreat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2019
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This museum in Sydney
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kerremit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2019
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There was an accident in the Paleontology section of a Natural History Museum where multiple dinosaur skeletons collapsed and were broken beyond repair. The directors of the museum were concerned that visitors wouldn't visit that section anymore ...

but visitors still showed up to view the
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EyeWunderY
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2019
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My friend is weirdly addicted to going to museums and kissing Impressionist paintings.

He puts his Monet where his mouth is.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2019
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I decided to quit my job and become a museum curator, but to be honest

I'm just doing it for the Monet

πŸ‘οΈŽ 55
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NeerCrimson
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2019
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Took the family to the Star Trek museum today, and we were the 10,000th visitor.

We won the Enter Prize!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HaroldTheScarecrow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2019
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Wife: "Oh, wow. I didn't know there was a watch museum here. Why have we never been?"

Me: "I guess we've just never had the time."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TurtleTurtleDuck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2016
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I went to the Air and Space Museum.

It was an empty building.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 16 2019
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Just been to the National Helium Museum.

I really can't speak highly enough of it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2019
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Breaking News: Vandals broke into the Origami Museum last night

Will keep you posted as the story unfolds.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/motleyblondie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2018
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Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo...

We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 80
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2018
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My son gets really excited when we go to the natural history museum. When he gets near the prehistoric bones, he just explodes with excitement and I can't deal with is new strength.

I'm just not qualified to handle his dino-might.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/leniski1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2019
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What is a museum about cows called?

A Moo-seum.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Woodscare
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2019
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I'm saddened to announce that due a recent warehose fire, I'm going to have to scrap my plans for a road side advertisement museum.

I really should have seen it coming. All the signs were there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/entropolous
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2019
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I found this in the Lenin-museum in Tampere
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IAmALoser44
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 03 2019
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Why didn't the famous clock in the art museum work?

It was a timeless piece of art

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StuntsMonkey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2018
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I'm annoyed because I had to work at the museum tonight moving suits of armour.

I hate knight shifts.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 100
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/orduk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2019
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[At the museum] Her: Do you think we’re allowed to take pictures?

Me: No. I think they need to stay on the wall.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 187
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I was at the museum and I saw my ex girlfriend across the hall, but was too self conscious to say hello.

There was too much history between us.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2020
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I saw my ex-girlfriend standing on the other side of the museum, but I didn’t go and say hi.

There was just too much history between us.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 738
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2018
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I was just at the museum

and I asked a worker there if we were allowed to take pictures.

He told me no, as they have to stay on the walls.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AhPigeons
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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