Moonlighting Puns

I knead a lot of dough

Every once in a while, these guys come out of the woodwork.

DilEmma

He often found old used shoes in thrift stores and re-soled them.

...is just night and day

He likes to leave everyone in stitches.

Tally ho!

They called him a Lechedor.

She really cracks me up.

Because possession is nine tenths of the law.

Both are famous for saying “What?”

Way back when I was a kid, for my school's Renaissance Faire-esque fundraiser, I went around wearing a sign that read "Vilage Idiot". When guests asked why, I'd reply, "I wasn't always the village idiot...

• “I used to be a tailor... but it didn't quite suit me... It was only a so-so job.”
• “I once was a lumberjack... but I couldn't hack it... so they gave me the axe.”
• “I was a fisherman too... I just couldn't live off my net income.”
• “I thought about being a witch for a spell.”
• “I tried being a chef... but I just didn't have enough thyme for it.”
• “I was a musician once... but I didn't accomplish anything noteworthy.”
• “For awhile I was a doctor... but I didn't have the patience to keep it up.”
• “I once was a accountant... but I lost interest. The job was too taxing.”
• “I tried moonlighting as a nun... but I confess, they didn't like my altar ego... or my bad habits.”
• “More recently, I was a baker... but I couldn't make enough dough at it... Guess I wasn't bred for the job.”
• “Heck, I was even king for a day... but I didn't have any crowning achievements.”

...And so now, here I am: village idiot, just like my father was. Ah... my father, he was the best village idiot we ever had. It's hard living in his shadow sometimes. You see, my father was a complete idiot! ...I'm just a half-wit.”

An Investigator

🎵mammary, all alone in the moonlight...

What do you call a fitness instructor who moonlights as an action hero?

Jason Stay-thin

What do you call a music artist who works out and is a bit of a creep?

Slim Shady