Little miss muffet had the right of whey
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Jane: I miss England.
Tarzan: Me no understand. You win beauty pageant?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Have you ever wondered why the winner of all the Miss Universe contest...
...always came from Earth ?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
Things my gf would miss
I had a conversation with my gf about what we would miss most, if one of us was to leave.
She said she would actually miss my dadjokes.
Gotta tell you, did not see dad coming.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
I called my wife 'Miss Universe' last night.
"Is it because I'm so beautiful?" she asked
"NO, It's because you're constantly expanding."
π︎ 69
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
If James Hetfield officiated a wedding between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.....
He would be the Pastor of Muppets
π︎ 91
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
FRIEND: I miss hugging people
ME: Probably a depth perception issue
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
I miss when the β#β symbol meant βpoundβ...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
Think I'm giving Halloween a miss this year...
After all, I've been munching sweeta and wearing a mask since March.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
Yeah he doesn't wanna miss it
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
More (mediocre) OC in honor of a woman who lived a bright and colorful life. We will miss you, RBG.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
And both hurt when they miss
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
So proud of Miss 4 - true Dad Joke!
Took her to the park today as itβs a stunningly beautiful day here in NZ.
She was on the swings and I went on the swing next to hers to show how to swing her legs properly....
I said βweeeeβ as I swung higher and higher as she was laughing.
Miss 4 said βDaddy, you should have gone before we leftβ...
So proud!!
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 05 2020
I really miss drama class...
...it was the only class where I didn't get in trouble for acting up
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 01 2020
Hit or miss
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Oct 26 2019
I felt really sad when I saw a girl on TV crying and saying, βI Miss America!β
Then someone corrected her grammar and gave her a sash and a tiara.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 14 2020
Why did the woman miss the spaghetti train?
Because it went straight pasta!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
Big miss steak. Huge!
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 08 2020
I miss my old job collecting leaves.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 30 2020
No matter how we pitched the human organs to the other team, they'd swing and miss...
They didn't even bat an eye.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 03 2020
Eye wouldnβt miss the opportunity eye-there
π︎ 5k
π
︎ May 27 2019
Just lost two precious pets, Jeremiah and Thomas. Gonna miss you little guys
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
I miss Cubs baseball so much that I asked my kid to build me a super realistic Wrigley Field in Minecraft.
She did a great job, because just like the real Wrigley these days, the only seats I could afford had blocked views.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
I miss the time where i was free
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 20 2020
I still miss my favorite beanie, it's been lost for awhile.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 06 2020
I miss the music
During these bleak times I'm missing the ice cream man and the music that comes with it, I guess you could say his ice-solating.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 04 2020
What I really miss about getting rides to work
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
I miss my sister
But my aim is getting better
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 20 2020
Miss type gets it!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
I call woman miss
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
What do australian teens say, when they miss a call from their grandmother?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 16 2020
Iβm back, what did I miss?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 10 2019
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 20 2019
When people miss their shot.
π︎ 53
π
︎ Jul 21 2019
- Tera (while eating dessert): I miss you dad...
- Tera's dad: Teramisu too
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 13 2020
We really miss Burton.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 17 2020
Why did the rooster miss its flight?
Because it forgot to chick-en.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 17 2019
No joke I just miss my dad. Happy fathers day in heaven dad dad daddy-o
π︎ 711
π
︎ Jun 17 2018
Is it just me or did Kleenex miss a huge opportunity to say βSneeze This Momentβ?
π︎ 43
π
︎ Apr 25 2019
Hit or miss
π︎ 43
π
︎ May 31 2019
From miss 11: What did the teacher say to the eyeballs?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 27 2019
My wife thinks itβs weird that I donβt miss the days when my kids were little and used to wake us up at night.
But I donβt lose any sleep over it.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 13 2019
Breaking news: An Army battalion led by Miss Muffet fails to reach Syria.
Apparently there were Kurds in her way.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 25 2019
If you ever miss 4:20, just wait until 4:22 comes, because 4:22 is 4:20 too
π︎ 368
π
︎ Jun 30 2018
He made a miss steak
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 12 2019
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