I thought I had a foolproof method for high stakes Rock, Paper, Scissors...

... Now I'm losing money hand over fist!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Erubadhron89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm planning to implement a new weight-loss method that will require people to wear winter gloves making it harder for them to eat.

I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhnrmn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
100% effective method to not go to jail
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPapaPump6969
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?

I can't remember the name but it's riveting.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Did you hear about the pro wrestler who came up with a method to remove hemorrhoids by hammering them?

He called it the Pile Driver.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Interesting rating method
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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What is a witch's favorite method of writing

Cursive

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikuSama39
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Darth Vader has some interesting methods for disciplining his Children.

They're all very hands-off.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EthanObi
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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I wanted to try a different method when putting sheets on my bed

But I just made it up as I went along.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leeericewing
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A method of trans-portation
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Benneb10
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a musician's favorite method of transportation?

Debussy

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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What is Harry Potter's preferred method of getting down a hill? ... duh, walking

...J.K. ROLLING!!!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__pure
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Some parents go quite far with their methods...

But some go even father

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Green4Gaming
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away

They always resort to straw man arguments

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/36chambersoffun
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Wow.. new method for Tanning
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rouchi_43de
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I made a meal, with parts from every culture, using traditional Chinese methods

It was from all Woks of Life

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrequelsAMIRIGHT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Pull out and pray isn't just my preferred method of birth control

It's also how I use my debit card

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I had to decide on what method I wanted to use in my house to get to the second floor. The options were stairs or a vertical climbing apparatus

I chose the ladder.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WispOG
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn't you eat oysters with Method Man?

Because Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to shuck with

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Giraffe_Racer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A man comes up with a great idea for a new shipping method

A young man comes up with a great idea for a new shipping method. He designs everything himself, hires people to create models, and deduces that he can use old fashioned boating technology to increase shipping speeds by up to 350%. This is obviously a great innovation, so he calls up a former Business professor from college and gets into contact with a manufacturer. The manufacturer makes the man come in and present his design to the board of directors, so they schedule a meeting in two weeks.

At the meeting, the board is blown away. The man’s charisma, design, and equations all point to a massive innovation in shipping. The company is poised to make a huge profit. Construction starts immediately.

On his flight back, the man happens to sits next to his old buddy from high school, Jimmy. Jimmy tells the man that he has just blown the farming world wide open. His new GMO potato produces five times as much energy and has been the talk of the world. Jimmy says that all the news outlets have been reporting potatoes to be the next big superfood, and his design is poised to make him millions, if not billions of dollars. Jimmy pitches the man for the entire plane ride, and convinced him. They hop on the next flight back to visit the board of directors once again. The board is shocked. Both ideas stand to make billions of dollars for the company, but there is one slight problem.

The CEO says to the man, β€œwe know you have these two ideas. However, we can only allocate enough resources to make one of them profitable. I recommend you take some time off and really decide which of these ideas you want our company to produce. We can schedule a meeting in a few weeks if that works for you.”

The man says right back to the CEO, β€œI’m going to take a walk and clear my head. This is a big decision” and walks right out of the room.

Not even five seconds later the man comes back into the room and says β€œI’ve made my decision. Let’s go with the shipping method.” This shocks the CEO, who says β€œare you sure?? This is a billion dollar decision and you only took five seconds to think about it.”

The man looks back at him and says β€œwell, in this business time is moneyβ€” so I decided to make my decision schooner rather than tater”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BearGuru
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
His methods are unconventional, but effective. I stand corrected.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
🚨︎ report
A method actor who takes a role of a drug addict is a Meth O.D. actor
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadow_Boxer1987
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
🚨︎ report
At the university, I learned various methods for extracting honey.

I have a Bee Tech degree.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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I had to attend a seminar on various drilling methods.

Boring!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
The guilloutine is apparently a relatively painless method of execution.

Heads will roll if word of this gets around.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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If there is a country that has rollercoasters as the main method of transportation, what is it called?

Coaster Rica

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coh_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the author Harry Potter's favorite method of transportation?

Walking.

JK Rolling.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RowsingBreddit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I were making macaroni and cheese today. Before showing her my method of re-packaging the Velveeta, I said to her...

Don’t worry, I’ve been around the block a few times in my day.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tbdakotam
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Studying for bio and asked my dad about the four methods of gene transfer...

"You go to the mall - that's one. The second method is you drop off a load of donations at Salvation Army. Third: you're picked up by a backhoe and transported to a pool of radioactive material in the middle of the garbage dump and your jeans are magically transferred off of you as you disintegrate. And the fourth? By policemen carrying out a court order in a maximum security prison."

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GimpyBallerina
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
🚨︎ report
This One was Said in my Choral Methods Class Today

When talking about a former student throwing batteries at her, my teacher told us the student was later arrested for the incident "and charged with... you guessed it assault and BATTERY!!!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gayjewtrombone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
🚨︎ report

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