The first animal to be mechanically milked must've been pumped.
I know it's an old joke, I'm just milking it dry. I just think its dairy funny.
My mechanic is 87 years old and he still works 40 hours a week.
Whenever he says "I'm ready to retire," his boss puts him right back to work on another car.
What does a mechanical frog say?
Who's the best friend of a french mechanic?
What do mechanical engineers gift their loved ones?
I saw an ambulance with the lights on at the local mechanics today.
Guess they needed an emergency service.
Why are KKK members terrible car mechanics?
They never check under the hood.
What do you call a Turkish mechanic?
Did you hear about the mechanic who fell asleep under the car?
He woke up oily in the morning
What do a mechanic and a lesbian have in common?
The rather oppressive female mechanic was trying to sell me 5 new manual transmissions
Luckily, I managed to escape her clutches.
Mechanic: You should give your car a spoiler to improve its handling.
Me: Iron Man dies at the end.
When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."
Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!
When asked what a drawbridge is, I always shrug.
I think it's a defence mechanism.
I'm going to have to fire my mechanic. He's always losing track of time.
And "Temporal Mechanics" is a dumb name for a company anyway.
The mechanic told me that he fixed the elevator
My mechanic said there was nothing wrong with my...
Someone recently came back from surgery after an accident with their eye. They got a new eye and a mechanical cover that can shine light while covering the eye
The doctors called it eyeLEDs
I would tell a joke about quantum mechanics...
But if you saw it, it wouldn't be as good
My mechanic tells me my engine keeps stalling because of excess friction.
Now I know I'm getting some wear.
I asked my mechanic why everyone made fun of what was on my wheel
What fish makes the best mechanic?
TunerFish!
My son came up with that one yesterday, future smart ass dad in training.
I brought my car to a mechanic and asked him, “Do you have any idea why my car is humming?”
He replied, “Probably because it doesn’t know all the lyrics.”
A Penguin sent his car off to the mechanic before going to the ice cream shop...
He ordered vanilla ice cream and gobbles it down before going back to the mechanic.
Mechanic: It looks like you blew a seal.
Penguin: Ah no that’s just ice cream.
What is a mechanic's wet dream
Today marks the 77th anniversary that my grandfather was responsible for bringing down 4 German bombers in one day during the war
He was the worst mechanic the luftwaffe ever had
A small boy went to sex ed class and then asked his father
is this a dad joke?
No, son, its not. he replied. Can we stop it with all the sex jokes please? they aren't dad jokes and probably belong in plain old /r/jokes.
Sorry for the anti joke here, but its really getting old.
I like the uniform mechanics wear...
Part of me thinks cognitive dissonance can be a useful coping mechanism
... but another part of me disagrees.
My teacher is giving a lecture on the mechanisms of drilling
So far, I find it very boring
Did you hear about the mechanic that got addicted to drinking brake fluid?
He said he could stop any time he wants.
What do you call an amish man with his hand up a horse's a**?
What does a mechanic do after a one night stand?
How do you call a group of mechanics?
Carmen. I'll show myself out.
I lost my pizza cutter so I had to use a Bryan Adams CD instead
In case anyone is wondering it cuts like a knife
Worst movie title idea - Temporal Mechanics:
An old car was asked by a mechanic if it wanted its wheels replaced...
It replied "no thanks, I've just retired."
A mechanic fell asleep and was crushed when another mechanic didn’t see him and lowered the lift. Cause of death? He was tire’d.
My father, the elevator mechanic
My father has been working as an elevator mechanic most of his life. Whenever people ask him how work is going he says "It has its ups and downs"
Hes been making this joke for 27 years
I just picked up my car from the mechanic...
I’d love to say they did a good job, but it feels like it’s really braking.
I saw a mechanic fixing the tailpipe of a car
What do you call a Turkish car mechanic?
If your vehicle breaks down in California, make sure your mechanic uses the state flag to check your oil ...
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"
What does a mechanical frog say?
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