I recently traded in my manual transmission car for an automatic.

It's been quite a shift.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Comma-Kazie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a fear of automatic toilets.

They scare the crap out of me

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doogasa34
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Manual or Automatic?
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/avataraustin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are dogs more likely to chase standard cars than automatic ones?

Because they’re stick

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Classic-Canuck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss put one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom.

It scared the shit out of me

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
A talking, mindreading ATM would be an Automatic Telling ATM Machine...
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Synaps4
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
🚨︎ report
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?

They’re all Manuel. (Cred to my actual dad)

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karnstan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2018
🚨︎ report
My son kept losing spitball wars at school. So i upgraded his straw to a semi-automatic...

By adding a paper clip

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Automatic response from my dad when I would say, "Really?"

"No, artificially. "

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NO_SUH
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2014
🚨︎ report
Whenever there's an automatic door

Dad: let me get the door for you

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/businessmantis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2014
🚨︎ report
[request] Pun Rating Questionnaire

Hello everyone! I am part of a team project from the Computational Linguistics department in Saarland University. We made an automatic pun generator and we want to test our system. The following questionnaire will ask you to rate punchlines. It's short and we hope you can get a giggle out of it. Thanks for your help (and please delete it if it goes against the subreddit rules).

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdTRNrncAZTemkojUBZytgevxXx5FJ5qh0kquZiirlaGioNPA/viewform

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lenakmeth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2017
🚨︎ report
If you eat beef, you automatically become accountable...

Because you’re now a steakholder

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cocomaybechanel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I've invented a new golf ball that will automatically go into the hole if it gets within 4 inches...

DO NOT carry them in your back pocket.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night I accidentally superglued my thumb and forefinger together...

But don’t worry...it will be ok. πŸ‘ŒπŸ»

πŸ‘︎ 535
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Before he passed away, my grandfather said, β€œHere are three words that would help open a lot of doors for you.”

Push and Pull.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Get it..?
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cfoster14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Ha ha
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mask3dman805
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Double pun.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemaholicCreeper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
OMG
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
heh fencing
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CartoonNet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Does this count as a pun?
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizartti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Poor guy
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I think dads automatically gain access to a dadjoke reservoir the moment they become dads...

My aunt recently had a baby, and she was telling us about the experience the other day at a family get-together. How beautiful her little girl is, how amazing the experience was, yadda yadda. Then she told us about my uncle's reaction, which she was less than thrilled about.

When my uncle saw his daughter for the first time after my aunt had just labored for hours, he said:

"Damn, it's 2013, you'd think they'd have started making these things cordless by now."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CloudyWithRain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
🚨︎ report
I'm not sure she can bear this
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
High maintenance
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eric-99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I think this fits here better
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorLevi956
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the least spoken language on earth

Sign language

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mystic_Frost69
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
And there we have it
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife she needed a smart man, so I went and got two degrees.
πŸ‘︎ 692
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyJelloJiggles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I think I would actually do this
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fructophile69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My brother wanted cold hard cash for Christmas. I think I delivered well
πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NJ2244
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Just saw this at the moment.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RPGamer954
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
The price of my air mattress went up this year.

Automatic inflation is great!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sadorna1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
These ancient people are something!
πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Holiday_Volume
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Cold shoulder on a cannibal feast
πŸ‘︎ 216
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kikithegoth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
If you don’t get this joke then your a boomer
πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RebekhaG
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
That's hot
πŸ‘︎ 171
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What?
πŸ‘︎ 146
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
It's cold and dark outside, so I have drawn the curtains.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theMikethe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
When life hands you melons imgur.com/mesZnfs
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Boomer on the other side of the phone.
πŸ‘︎ 163
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πŸ‘€︎ u/recoro06
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Which would you like?
πŸ‘︎ 251
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Making the most out of a typo
πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ddaannkk123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Credit to u/RadaSTL
πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miriam9999
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
β€˜Tis the season!
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CCplusplus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Oh buoy
πŸ‘︎ 164
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Extrahub
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Little girlfriend
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deathlysin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Harry Pot-ter
πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePinkPanda205
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I'll be Bach.
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Adragontype
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A Pun I Made In 5 Minutes On MS Paint... Merry Christmas!
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KLMkid10
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report

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